Lesson 34

To Bury or Not to Bury the Hatchet

Main Idea: When your enemy seeks to make things right, God will bless forgiveness but curse revenge.

Text: 2 Samuel 3

Introduction:

To bury, or not to bury the hatchet? That is the question. I believe that in anybody’s heart, they know that they ought to forgive, but the question is very real in our experience. When it comes right down to it, do we really want peace with the jerk? On the other hand, would we rather they get what is coming to them? When someone has done you wrong and comes back asking for mercy and forgiveness, there is a large part of us that wants to say, “Too bad. You should have thought about that before you crossed me. Now you’re going to pay.”

In today’s lesson, we see this very situation in progress. A great enemy is about to seek peace and apologize. We will see what happens when one forgives and when one does not.

I.  It was by God’s design and blessing that the heart of Abner was turned to David in the first place.

  1. The chapter opens up by highlighting how David was getting stronger and stronger and the house of Saul was getting weaker and weaker.
  2. We then follow that with the birth of David’s sons, another sign of blessing and strengthening.
  3. We then have the account of how Saul’s strongest man decides to leave Saul’s house for David.
  4. Abner is making himself strong for the house of Saul. In all reality, Abner is the one making it all happen. Ish-bosheth is weak and is only in power because Abner put him there.
  5. Well, Ish-bosheth accuses Abner of going in to one of Saul’s concubines.
  6. Though Abner does not deny the charge, he is furious with Ish-bosheth for accusing him.
  7. Abner feels he has done plenty to earn the trust of Ish-bosheth, but he is accused.
  8. Because of this outrage, he determines to do everything in his power to see that David gets the throne.

Important to notice:

·  David does nothing to win influence over Abner. This is a complete “fluke”, which we know to be God’s sovereign design.

·  We already know that David is getting stronger and stronger and the house of Saul is getting weaker and weaker. This is simply one of the ways it is playing out. God is turning the heart of David’s enemy in order to give him the kingdom.

·  Look at Proverbs 21:1. This talks about God’s influence over a king, but we can also be sure that he has the ability to turn the heart of a powerful man like Abner.

·  GOD IS GIVING THE KINGDOM TO DAVID! God worked Abner’s “repentance” toward David. This entire incident has God’s fingerprints all over it.

II.  David’s forgiving response was only producing positive results.

  1. When David hears of Abner’s intentions, he welcomes them, but requires that he get his wife Michal back first.
  2. Abner complies and brings her, but she had been given to another man in David’s absence.
  3. Some may tend to feel sorry for the guy who is weeping at the loss of Michal, his new wife.
  4. But remember, Michal was DAVID’S wife. She loved him and helped him escape from her father Saul.
  5. Phaltiel should not have married another man’s wife and he would not be experience this sorrow. David is not to blame for this tragedy. Rather he is to be commended for his genuine love for Michal.
  6. Already, by agreeing to meet with Abner, David has gotten his wife back.
  7. When they meet, Abner is more than supportive of David and agrees to speak to all Israel and convince them that David is to be king over all the land.
  8. By David’s forgiving response, he has gained the influential power of Abner, which is the larger part of the nation. So far, David’s desire for peace has only done him good.
  9. After he learns of Abner’s tragic murder, he makes a point to show mourning and respect for him.
  10. By doing this, he earns the favor and respect of the people.

When David’s enemy desired to bury the hatchet, David was more than willing to forgive and forget. Because of this spirit, he gets his wife back, inherits the kingdom, and earns the favor of the people.

III.  Joab’s vengeful response was surrounded with sin and only produced punishment for him and his family.

  1. When Joab finds out that Abner was here and that David let him go, he is frustrated.
  2. Joab believes that Abner is only sneaking into the kingdom to spy on David. In other words, he thinks the peace talk is just a smoke screen.
  3. So Joab sends messengers after Abner and when he comes back, Joab takes him aside and stabs him to death.
  4. All of this was done in vengeance of Abner killing his brother (though Abner killed Asahel in self defense)
  5. Notice the result of Joab’s action.
  6. King David curses him in vs. 29
  7. He endangers David’s reputation among the people.
  8. Notice David’s words in vs. 39.

Joab is not interested in what is good for the king or the kingdom. He is not worried about what is right or wrong. He is only thinking about how he FEELS and about getting revenge. Here the war is about to end and Joab murders the messenger of peace, all because of a personal vendetta. Though we can understand a desire for revenge, we cannot excuse such thoughtless and reckless self-centeredness.

Conclusion:

We have seen two different responses to the same situation and have seen two different outcomes. One responded with forgiveness and a desire for peace and as a result inherited power and blessing. The other sought personal revenge and only aggravated his life’s problems. We all have enemies at one time or another. We have to seek peace with these people. If they should try to extend themselves to us in an offer of peace and reconciliation, we need to accept it. Based on the example we have seen here, God honors forgiveness, peace, and mercy. God is displeased with vengeance and hatred. When we have an opportunity to make things right with an enemy, let’s take it.