Thought Log Instructions
When events happen, it is human nature to seek an explanation for what has occurred. The thoughts we have to explain these events have a significant impact on our future actions. For example, suppose a man returns home from work and attempts to give his wife a hug. He placeshis arms around her and she says“not right now, can’t you see I am busy fixing dinner?”. It is human nature to try and account for what has just happened. He will immediately and automatically begin generating thoughts or explanations for what has occurred. Consider the following thoughts/explanations he may generate: She doesn’t love me, she doesn’t find me attractive like in the beginning of our marriage, I am not important enough to her, etc… As a result of these thoughts hisemotions are hurt, sad, and rejected. These thoughts coupled with the hurt and sadness will now impact his future behavior towards her. For example, he could choose to avoid her for the remainder of the evening and wait for her to come give him a hug so he can be sure he is still loved (isn’t it interesting that just 1 minute before the event hewas likely thinking he was okay and maybe even wonderful? After all he had been working hard all day long. What a good responsible husband but now because of one thought about an event he is unlovable, less than wonderful, and his hard work amounts to nothing). Later that night after dinner he withdraws to the television and waits to see if she comes to be close to him. She doesn’t come because she is busy studying some materials for work. He now thinks the same thoughts from earlier in the evening and concludes that “it’s true I am not lovable”. Feeling hurt because of the thoughts, he goes to bed without saying goodnight to his wife. Over time he practices the thought that she does not love him. The truth could have been that she received a sad letter from a friend and she is focusing on other activities so she doesn’t have to feel sad or think about the letter she received (okay so it could be anything). The point is his thinking created a response that led to a negative vicious cycle.
Notice in the next figure how his behavior leads to an event for her that starts a negative thought cycle in her. Over time the cycle repeats itself again and again until they begin to think differently, behave differently, or end the relationship. Thoughts can be dangerous.
The danger in the above example is that each time he/she practices the negative thoughts, the more automatic they will become (consider driving a car, you no longer even think about it as it is an automatic process). As in this example, you and I develop negative automatic patterns in our thinking about life events. When events occur we interpret them in a way that impacts our esteem and worth. Because thoughts are so powerful it is important to monitor them and eliminate any thoughts that are both negative and untrue. For example it would be silly for me to think that my wife doesn’t love me. I know she loves me and I do not need to practice any thought that is contrary unless I want to be miserable (often times we think that if a person loved he/she would do ….. however, that is another negative way of thinking that places our worth in the hands of others).
Overview of Assignment and Concepts
This assignment is given to assist in becoming more aware of your negative and automatic thought patterns. Awareness is the first step to changing thought patterns (cognitions) that lead to negative emotions (e.g. anxiety). You are to become aware of your thoughts and emotions for the next week. Review the example sheet provided below and then chart at least 3 events and their resulting thoughts and emotions, etc.. over a three day period. You should type these using the blank chart provided below. Remember to focus on your thoughts.
Event or Situation- any stimuli that impacts your thoughts or emotions
Thoughts (Auto & Neg)-As we discussed in class many of our thoughts are automatic reactions learned through past experiences. Our thoughts become so automatic that we seldom stop to even consider them. For this assignment write down your automatic thoughts related to negative events in your life. This will require you to attend to your thoughts throughout the day. Sometimes it is easier for individuals to attend to their emotions first and then consider the thoughts that may have led to the emotion.
Emotion- Make sure that the emotions you list are actual emotions. If it can’t be described in three words it is probably a thought and not a feeling. When you say “I feel like….” you are describing a thought.“I feel like you don’t care” is a thought. “I think you don’t care”. A feeling sentence is a simple three word sentence “I feel sad”. Note that there are no words between feel and the emotion sad. If I said “I feel I am going crazy” then I would be describing a thought and not an emotion.
Action- How do you respond to the emotions you are having? Do you withdraw socially? Do you hit something? Do you scream at someone? Do you avoid? Etc...
Balanced Thought- Consider if the automatic negative thought is accurate. Are there additional thoughts that complete the case alternative thoughts that you can think to replace the negative automatic thought?
Example of Thought Log
Event / Thought(Auto & Neg) / Emotion / Action / Balanced Thought
I called my friend Steve and he was not very enthusiastic and ended the phone call quickly. / I offended him.
He likes Joe more.
I am not as cool or fun as John.
People don’t like me much. / Sad
Hurt
Hopeless / Avoid Steve in class the next day.
I don’t call to find out what John or Steve are doing for the weekend and exclude myself.
(they don’t call so I feel worse and am now sure that I am not liked) / Maybe Steve was in a hurry when I called him.
He is under a lot of stress with school and work.
He cares about our friendship. We have laughed a lot together in the recent past.
My spouse didn’t give me a hug this evening when I got home from work. / He/She is mad at me.
He/she doesn’t love me as much as when we were first married.
Maybe he/she is interested in someone else.
I am not a good spouse.
He/she doesn’t find me attractive anymore. / Hurt
Sad
Angry
Inadequate
Sad / I work more hours to avoid being around him/her and feeling rejected.
I don’t answer his/her phone calls when I am at work.
I flirt with other males/females.
I stop showing any affection.
I expect him/her to read my mind. / He/she was preoccupied with thinking about the events of today.
My worth is not based on his/her behaviors towards me.
He/she is tired and not feeling connected as a result.
One final Note: This is not an approach that denies reality. When my mother passed away a few years ago I felt deep sadness. This approach does not suggest that I simply change my thoughts to “she is better off and is no longer suffering” and be completely happy. The fact is that I miss my mother and would rather she still be alive. I will acknowledge the thoughts related to sadness and balance them with the thoughts of “I will see her again” and “we sure had some wonderful times together”.
Event / Thought (Auto & Neg) / Emotion / Action / Balanced Thought