=^..^== ==^..^== “Cat Quotes” ==^..^== ==^..^==
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." - Unknown
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this." - Anonymous
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a
sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry Berkeley
"One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemingway
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back
to you later." - Mary Bly
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a
good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from
insomnia." - Joseph Wood Krutch
"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." - Faith Resnick
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all
owned by cats." - Anonymous
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of
cats is infinitely superior." - Hippolyte Taine
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life:
music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." - Ernest Menaul
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." - Unknown
"Time spent with cats is never wasted." - Colette
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel.
True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." - Missy Dizick
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with
strange cats." - Colonial American proverb
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to
ask for what you want." - Joseph Wood Krutch
"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."
- John S. Nichols
Who would believe such pleasure from a wee ball o' fur?
- Irish Saying
"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little,
they become its visible soul."-- Jean Cocteau
What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have TV
shows starring rubber sqeak toys?
-- Douglas Coupland
When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
-- Nigerian Proverb
The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop
to admitting it.
--Doug Larson
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on
their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat
and drop it?
--Steven Wright
Cats are soft-furred mammals, who are mildly and clumsily
predatory. They have anywhere from two to a dozen neurons.
The baseline intellect of a cat has two states. 1) Chow state
(feeding frenzy) 2) Asleep mode (unconscious on your bed with
whiskers twitching)
--Elaine Richards
No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty
of kittens.
--Abraham Lincoln
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has
a purpose.
Garrison Keillor
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give
away a perfectly good kitten.
--Doug Larson
Kitten: small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two.
After dark all cats are leopards.
--Native American Proverb (Zuni)
CAT, n: (1) A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.
--Anon.
I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this
at a glance -- a sharp, vindictive glance.
-- James Thurber
For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored
by a cat.
--Anon.
"If animals could speak the dog would be a a blundering outspoken
fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a
word too much." - Mark Twain
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals." - Winston Churchill
"We humans are indeed fortunate if we happen to be chosen to be
owned by a cat."
"How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in
heaven." - Robert A. Heinlein
"No heaven will ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to
welcome me." - Unknown
"With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity,
and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be
capable of becoming cats?" - Fernand Mery
"The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets." - Sonja Monsen
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and
will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham
"Beware of people who dislike cats." - Irish proverb
"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic"
"My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes."
"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made
slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed
with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate
the cat." --Mark Twain
"Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges.
Cats have the courage to live by them." - Jim Davis
"Most cats, when they are Out want to be In, and vice versa, and
often simultaneously." - Louis F. Camuti, DVM
"The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends..."-- Saki (H. H. Munro),
"One reason we admire cats is for their proficiency in
one-upmanship. They always seem to come out on top, no matter
what they are doing, or pretend they do." - Barbara Webster
"There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be
welcomed by a cat." - Tay Hohoff
"In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble,
He gave him the cat." - Warren Eckstein
"You can't own a cat. The best you can do is be partners."
- Sir Harry Swanson
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." - Leonardo da Vinci
"A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one
reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not."
- Ernest Hemingway
"Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about
six days, take a look around, then close them again for the
better part of their lives." - Stephen Baker
"Even the stupidest cat seems to know more than any dog."
- Eleanor Clark
"As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time
well knows cats have enormous patience with the limitations of
the human kind." - Cleveland Amory
"Cats do not have to be shown how to have a good time, for they
are unfailing ingenious in that respect." - James Mason
"Cats' hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to
easily go in one ear and out the other." - Stephen Baker
"If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow
upon our favorite cat, they, too, would purr." - Martin Buxbaum
"A meow massages the heart." - Stuart McMillan
"Cats can be cooperative when something feels good, which, to a
cat, is the way everything is supposed to feel as much of the
time as possible." - Roger Caras
"No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no
amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from
your couch." - Leo Dworken
"There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables
one to come off as a sane person." - Dan Greenberg
"When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her
more than she is to me?" - Montaigne
"Women and cats will do as they please... men and dogs should
relax and get used to the idea."
- ROBERT A. HEINLEIN
"I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being
is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted-
-but his or her entertainment value." - Geoffrey Household
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff." - Unknown
The more people I meet the more I like my cat."
--Anonymous
"By associating with the cat one only risks becoming richer."
--Colette
"Cats are designated friends."
--Norman Corwin
"Cat: A pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes
human beings."
--Oliver Herford 1863-1935 American Writer.
"Thou art the Great Cat, the avenger of the Gods, and the judge
of words, and the president of the sovereign chiefs and the
governor of the holy Circle; thou art indeed...the Great Cat."
--Inscription on the Royal Tombs at Thebes
"To err is human, to purr is feline."
--Robert Byrne
"They say the test of literary power is whether a man can write
an inscription. I say, Can he name a kitten?"
--Samuel Butler
"Cats don't like change without their consent."
--Roger A. Caras
"Prowling his own quiet backyard or asleep by the fire, he is
still only a whisker away from the wilds."
--Jean Burden
"An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old."
--Carl Van Vechten
"If cats could talk, they wouldn't."
--Nan Porter
"Purring would seem to be, in her case, an automatic safety-valve
device for dealing with happiness overflow."
Monica Edwards (English writer)
"A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself
and does a damned impressive job of it."
--Joseph Epstein
"There are no ordinary cats."
--Colette
"The phrase 'domestic cat' is an oxymoron."
--George Will
"God made the cat in order that man might have the pleasure of
caressing the tiger."
--Fernand Mery
"To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of
conviction--and a cat. The last ingredient is usually hardest
to come by."
--Stephen Baker
"Cat people are different, to the extent that they generally are
not conformists. How could they be, with a cat running their
lives?"
--Louis J. Camuti, DVM
"Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, seems to flow."
--George F. Will
"A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution."
--Hazel Nicholson
"As we all know, cats now rule the world."
--John R.F. Breen
"Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without
confinement, and love without penalties."
--W.L. George
"There is, indeed, no single quality of the cat that man could not
emulate to his advantage."
--Carl Van Vechten
"There is nothing sweeter than his peace when at rest, for there
is nothing brisker than his life when in motion."
--Christopher Smart
"To gain the friendship of a cat is a difficult thing. The cat is
philosophical, metholodical, quiet animal, tenacious of it's own
habits, fond of order and cleanliness, and it does not lightly
confer its friendship. If you are worthy of its affection, a cat
will be your friend, but never your slave. He keeps his free will, though he loves, and he will not do for you what he thinks is unreasonable. But if he once gives himself to you it is with
absolute confidence and affection"-- Theophile Gautier, 1850
"It's very hard to be polite if you're a cat."
--Anonymous
"Unlike us, cats never outgrow their delight in cat capacities,
nor do they settle finally for limitations. Cats, I think, live
out their lives fulfilling their expectations."
--Irving Townsend
"Cats are absolute individuals, with their own ideas about
everything, including the people they own."
--John Dingman
"I am as vigilant as a cat to steal cream."
--William Shakespeare, Henry IV
"Most of us rather like our cats to have a streak of wickedness.
I should not feel quite easy in the company of any cat that
walked about the house with a saintly expression"
--Beverly Nichols
"Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because
of all the time they spend on personal grooming.
Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to
roll in a dead fish."
--James Gorman
"It is difficult to obtain the friendship of a cat. It is a
philosophical animal...one that does not place its affections
thoughtlessly."
--Theophile Gautier
"Cats sleep Anywhere, Any table, Any chair, Top of piano,
Window-ledge, In the middle, On the edge."
--Eleanor Farjeon
"A cat's got her own opinion of human beings.
She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you
anxious not to hear the whole of it."
--Jerome K. Jerome
"Cats are connoisseurs of comfort."
--James Herriot
"Do our cats name us ? My former husband swore that Humphrey and
Dolly and Bean Blossom called me The Big Hamburger."
--Eleanora Walker
"The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact."
--P.G. Wodehouse
"The little furry buggers are just deep, deep wells you throw all
your emotions into."
--Bruce Schimmel
"Ye shall not possess any beast, my dear sisters, except only a
cat."
--The Ancren Riewle (Nun's Rule)
"When she walked...she stretched out long and thin like a little
tiger, and held her head high to look over the grass as if she
were treading the jungle."
--Sarah Orne Jewett
"Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!"
--Theophile Gautier
"When I play with my cat who knows whether I do not make her more
sport than she makes me?"
--Michel de Montaigne
"A man has to work so hard so that something of his personality
stays alive. A tomcat has it so easy, he has only to spray and
his presence is there for years on rainy days."
--Albert Einstein
"It is with the approach of winter that cats...wear their richest
fur and assume an air of sumptuous and delightful opulence."
--Pierre Loti
"There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat."
--Wesley Bates
"If a cat spoke, it would say things like, 'Hey, I don't see
the problem here.'"
--Roy Blount, Jr.
"The smart cat doesn't let on that he is."
--H. G. Frommer
"My cat does not talk as respectfully to me as I do to her."
--Colette
"Are cats lazy ? Well, more power to them if they are. Which one
of us has not entertained the dream of doing just as he likes,
when and how he likes, and as much as he likes?"
--Fernand Mery
"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you;
but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is
warmer"
--Alfred North Whitehead
"Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise
creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons."
--Robertson Davies
"A dog knows his master, a cat does not"
--Eleasar B. Zadok
"The cat is the mirror of his human's mind the dog mirrors
his human's physical appearance."
--Winifred Carriere
Avoid dogs whenever you can. Remember... Cats are poetry in motion. Dogs are gibberish in neutral
By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will
find themselves happier with a dog.
Barbara Holland
Cats always know whether people like or dislike them.
They do not always care enough to do anything about it.
Winifred Carriere
If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same
thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.
Will Cuppy
Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything.
Hank Ketchum
Two things are aesthetically perfect in the world - the clock
and the cat.
Emile Auguste Chartier
A cat pours his body on the floor like water. It is restful just
to see him.
William Lyon Phelps
The ideal of calm exists in a sitting cat.
Jules Reynard
Most beds sleep up to six cats. Ten cats without the owner.
Stephen Baker
Of all animals, he alone attains the Contemplative Life. He regards the wheel of existence from without, like the Buddha.
There is no pretense of sympathy about the cat. He lives alone, aloft, sublime, in a wise passiveness.
- ANDREW LANG
We cannot without becoming cats, perfectly understand the cat mind.
-- St. George Mivart, The Cat
Intelligence in the cat is underrated.
Louis Wain
Her function is to sit and be admired.
Georgina Strickland Gates
I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure,
could walk on a cloud without coming through.
Jules Verne
There is no more intrepid explorer than a kitten.
Jules Champfleury
If a cat did not put a firm paw down now and then,
how could his human remain possessed.
Winifred Carriere
One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where
you are when you don't come home at night.
Margaret Mead
"To assume a cat's asleep is a grave mistake. He can close his
eyes and keep both his ears awake."-- Aileen Fisher
"Few animals display their mood via facial expressions as
distinctly as cats."-- Konrad Lorenz