Chapter 10: The Conclusion
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There are two goals when concluding your essay:
- Restate the Thesis (what you proved in the essay) in different words.
- Take the reader a step further.
This chapter explains and gives examples of Conclusions, using the writing of students and professionals as models to help you write an effective Conclusion in your own essays. We’ll also cover some common pitfalls that can trip up students in their Conclusions, and how to avoid those mistakes.
Section 1: Methods for “restating the thesis” and “taking the readers a step further”
Method #1: The Summary
A Summary offers the most straightforward and least complicated method to conclude an essay. All you need to do is summarize your Thesis Statement and Main Support Points. As with all restatements (see Chapter 3), you change the wording from your Thesis Statement in the Introduction. Furthermore, your summary should be limited in length. The Conclusion is not the time to rewrite your essay! A good rule of thumb is not to have more than one sentence of summary for each Support Point in your Informal Outline, and in a short essay, you can summarize your support points as a series of phrases in just one sentence.
Consider the following examples – we included the Introduction as well as the Conclusion, so you have a good idea of how the Thesis of each essay is restated in the Conclusion. We have also identified the organization of the Conclusion for each example:
Example 1: Challenges in Returning to College
In Example 1, a student writer restates his Thesis (that it has been difficult for him to return to college as a non-traditional student) in different words and takes the readers a step further by writing (that a college degree will be beneficial to him in the long-run). Since the essay is short, so too is the Conclusion.
“Returning to college after 21 years has been difficult for me, but I’m hanging in there!”
Obstacles to Returning to College – Illustration Essay
Introduction / Conclusion[Introduction designed to set background]: *I last attended school at the age of fourteen. When I decided I wanted to go back to college after twenty-one years, I was not prepared for the changes in academia.1[Thesis Statement]: The most difficult challenges in returning to college are the intrusive questions of college financial aid in the life of a very private thirty-five year old, the isolation in being a non-traditional student, and the time constraints. / (1)[In the Conclusion, the writer restates his Thesis Statement in different words]: I know this phase of my life will be a constant struggle with change. Dealing with being a student today as a thirty-five year old, especially the invasion of my privacy, relearning everything I thought I knew as an older student, and juggling the time constraints on my family and me were very difficult, [The second part of the Conclusion takes the readers a step further]: but would have been a lot harder without the support of my fellow non-traditional students. I believe in what I am doing, and that it will be of great benefit in the long run.
*The part of the Introduction that is designed to get the readers’ interest is in Italics (see Chapter 3).
Example 2: Animal Rights
In Example 2, a professional writer restates his Thesis (that the scholar Peter Singer has created a debate about animal rights in our country) and takes the readers a step further by (letting the readers know what he will do in response Singer’s arguments). Notice how the writer refrains from recommending how the readers should approach the issue (See Method 2).
A factory farm
Animal Rights – Illustration Essay
Introduction / Conclusion[The first part of the Introduction designed to set background and get the readers’ interest]:One of the historical election landmarks last year had nothing to do with race or the presidency. Rather, it had to do with pigs and chickens — and with overarching ideas about the limits of human dominion over other species.Skip to next paragraph I’m referring to the stunning passage in California, by nearly a 2-to-1 majority, of an animal rights ballot initiative that will ban factory farms from keeping calves, pregnant hogs or egg-laying hens in tiny pens or cages in which they can’t stretch out or turn around. It was an element of a broad push in Europe and America alike to grant increasing legal protections to animals. At one level, this movement on behalf of oppressed farm animals is emotional, driven by sympathy at photos of forlorn pigs or veal calves kept in tiny pens.(1)Thesis Statement: Yet the movement is also the product of a deep intellectual ferment pioneered by the Princeton scholar Peter Singer. / [Transition away from the Support Paragraphs into overview of the essay in the Conclusion]: Mr. Singer has raised vexing questions about the rights of animals, and different people will answer them differently, yet however we may answer these questions, there is one profound difference from past centuries: (1)[Restates Thesis in different words]: because of Mr. Singer, animal rights are now firmly on the mainstream ethical agenda. [Takes the readers a step further]: For my part, I eat meat, but I would prefer that this practice not inflict gratuitous suffering. That means I will only buy meat where the animal has been raised “free range” and not in “factory farms.”
“All Animals Are Equal”
Peter Singer
1989
Example 3: Dealing with Stress
In Example 3, a student writer illustrates how he deals with stress, then summarizes his Thesis (that he has found different ways of dealing with stress) in his Conclusion.
Illustration Essay on Dealing with Stress
Introduction / Conclusion[The first part of the Introduction designed to set background and get the readers’ interest]:After flying back from a highly stressful business trip in New York City and feeling ill and exhausted, my doctor suggested to me that if I tried some form of exercising a few times a week or taking a meditation class or even making some time to relax for myself, I could reduce the stress I have been feeling. I am sure the three suggestions the doctor gave me will not be easy at first but will benefit me in the long run. (1)[Thesis Statement]: Stress can be difficult to handle, but there are methods to cope with stress. / (1)[Restates Thesis in different words]: I have found different ways of dealing with stress including exercise, meditation, and relaxation. [Takes the readers a step further]It is difficult to control what happens in life, but I have been able to control how I react, and what I choose to do about it. By incorporating these techniques, I can live a healthier, stable, and less stressful life.
Method #2: Recommendation
In the most commonly used method of the Persuasive Essay (see Chapter 5), the writer suggests what the readers should believe or do based on what has been proved in the essay. For example, writing that makes a case for the importance of voting would take the readers a step further by recommending that people make sure to vote; an essay that makes a case for getting a flu shot would recommend that readers make sure to get vaccinated each fall; and an essay that provides evidence about the danger of drinking and driving would urge the readers to not drink and drive, or call for stiffer penalties for those who drink and drive. It’s generally true that most academic essays do not make recommendations, whereas many magazine and newspaper features, commentaries, and editorials do. It’s a good idea, if you’re considering making a recommendation in your Conclusion in essays other than Persuasive, to ask your professor if it’s okay, given the requirements of the assignment.
The first three examples are from student writers who restate their thesis in different words, and then take the readers a step further with a recommendation. Notice that when the essay is short, so too is the Conclusion.
In Example 1, the writer “restates the Thesis” (that the two main human characters are similar in a number of ways), and then “takes the readers a step further” (that you should read the book).
Example 1: Comparison-Contrast – two characters in the book, Marley and Me
Marley and Me, the book
Marley and Me – Comparison-Contrast Essay
Introduction / Conclusion[The first part of the Introduction designed to set background and get the readers’ interest]:The book, Marley and Me, by John Grogan is a heartwarming story about a family and a loveable, but often out of control, Golden Lab. A typical American family takes “stewardship” of a very large, powerful, and yet loving canine. Like having children, the dog changes their lives. The two humans, husband and wife, named Jenny and John, come to love, be frustrated endlessly by, and have different approaches to, “owning” Marley. (1)[Thesis Statement]:Underneath their differences, Jenny and John are alike because they are very caring, loving, and calm. / (1) [Restates Thesis in different words]: In Marley and Me, I think both of the characters would make good friends because they are caring of other people (and animals!), have a loving relationship, and are calm in the face of difficulty. In short, they are very good all around people. [Recommendation that takes the readers a step further]: I would definitely recommend this book to others because it will make you laugh and has an emotional side as well.
Example 2: Motorcycles and Motor Scooters
In Example 2, a student writer contrasts motorcycles and motorscooters, and how they are different in “cost, image, and size.” His Thesis and Support Points are summarized in the Conclusion. His recommendation: “Everyone should ride either a scooter or a motorcycle at least once.”
Motorcyles and Motor Scooters – Comparison-Contrast Essay
Introduction / Conclusion[The first part of the Introduction designed to set background and get the readers’ interest]:In any major city, there are many two-wheeled motorized vehicles zooming throughout the streets. They could be large or small, noisy or quiet, and have many different people riding them. Most would characterize the two-wheeled vehicles in the broad term of “motorcycles.” Motorcycles have been around for so long they are practically an American staple. However, making their first appearance in the 1970’s and currently making a comeback, scooters can be spotted in urban areas almost as frequently as motorcycles (John).(1)[Thesis Statement]:Although motorcycles and scooters can appear similar, they are far more different than alike. / [Transition away from the Support Paragraphs into overview of the essay in the Conclusion]: Motorcycles and scooters are often mistaken for one-another because that they both are motorized vehicles set on two-wheels. (1)[Restates Thesis in different words]:However, they have many points of contrast that span from the cost, image, and size of each. [Takes the readers a step further]:While they are very different, both scooters and motorcycles are very enjoyable and are popular across ages and genders. [Recommendation that takes the readers a step further]:Everyone should ride either a scooter or a motorcycle at least once. There is no feeling like riding in the open, and it certainly beats driving a car.
Example 3: Christmas and Chanukah
In Example 3, a student writer contrasts two major religious Holidays: Christmas and Chanukah, and illustrates the different beliefs and practices. Her Thesis and Support Points are summarized in the Conclusion. Her recommendation that takes the readers a step further: “People need to learn the meaning of the two holidays and choose the one to celebrate based on its meaning in their own lives.”
Christmas / ChanukahChristmas and Chanukah Comparison-Contrast Essay
Introduction / Conclusion[The first part of the Introduction designed to set background and get the readers’ interest]:About five months ago, in the middle of December, I walked into a friend’s house. When I walked in, he handed me a gift and said, “Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah or whatever you are into.” I couldn’t help but laugh to myself. Most people do not even know what they are celebrating. They just buy gifts because it is the thing to do. (1)[Thesis Statement]: Even though Hanukkah and Christmas are at the same time of year, they are very different holidays. / (1)[Restates Thesis in different words]:The differences are very clear. Hanukkah is a day to celebrate freedom. A day when people can say, “This is what I believe and belief is what freedom of religion in our Constitution is about.” Christmas was started as a religious holiday, but is now much more secular in the United States. [Takes the readers a step further]:So for everyone who was not sure why they were celebrating, now you know.[Recommendation that takes the readers a step further]:People need to learn the meaning of the two holidays and choose the one to celebrate based on its meaning in their own lives.
Example 4: Energy Drinks and Risk-Taking
In Example 4, a professional writer uses exactly the same organization as our student writers: she “restates her thesis in different words”: “teenagers’ overconsumption of energy drinksleads to risky behavior,” and then “takes the readers a step further” with a series of recommendations to control the problem.
“Energy drinks have as much caffeine as the strongest coffee and can be consumed much more quickly.”
Energy Drinks and Risk-Taking – Persuasive Essay
Introduction / Conclusion[The first part of the Introduction designed to set background and get the readers’ interest]:Health researchers have identified a surprising new predictor for risky behavior among teenagers and young adults: the energy drink. Super-caffeinated energy drinks, with names like Red Bull, Monster, Full Throttle and Amp, have surged in popularity in the past decade. About a third of 12- to 24-year-olds say they regularly down energy drinks, which account for more than $3 billion in annual sales in the United States. The trend has been the source of growing concern among health researchers and school officials. (1)[Thesis Statement]: New research suggests the drinks are associated with a health issue far more worrisome than the jittery effects of caffeine — risk taking. / (1)[Restates Thesis in different words]: The link between energy drinks and high risk behavior in youth is difficult to ignore. [Recommendation that takes the readers a step further]: Society needs to review a series of options including education programs that inform youth of the risks; on-the-can warnings; and even increased legal consequences for mixing alcohol with highly caffeinated beverages.
Tara Parker-Pope,
The New York Times
May 27, 2008
Example 5: Exercise and Teenagers
In Example 5, a professional writer restates her Thesis (that there is a significant drop-off in physical activity as kids become teenagers), then “takes the readers a step further” with a series of recommendations for what parents can do to avoid this problem with their children.
“The dog ate my homework.”
agentdoubledeuce.com/220/
Exercise and Teenagers Essay – Persuasive Essay
Introduction / Conclusion[The first part of the Introduction designed to set background and get the readers’ interest]:Young children spend an extraordinary amount of time moving about: an average of three hours a day at age 9, new research shows. Skip to next paragraph But in just a few short years, all that childhood energy disappears. By the age of 15, daily physical activity is down to just 49 minutes on weekdays and about a half-hour on weekends, according to the research, being published Wednesday in The Journal of the American Medical Association.
Experts have long believed that activity wanes as children enter their teenage years. This study affirming that belief, one of the largest and longest ever undertaken on the subject, followed about 1,000 children from around the country and, unlike many previous studies, used monitoring devices to track the activity carefully rather than relying on reports from parents. (1)[Thesis Statement]: The findings, which measured everything from moderate walking to vigorous athletic pursuits, show clearly that even the most energetic young children experience a precipitous drop in physical activity as they reach puberty. / (1)[Restates Thesis in different words]:The study concluded that the drop in exercise and activity from early childhood, middle childhood, and teenage years is significant and alarming. [Recommendation that takes the readers a step further]:Parents need to be aware to help their children keep a balance that works a little better between school work, video games and television on the one hand and physical exercise and sports on the other.
Tara Parker-Pope
The New York Times
July 16, 2008
Method #3: Quotes
As is true of the Introduction and the Support paragraphs, a quote from an expert helps to establish credibility in your Conclusion. That’s why you are allowed to use “quotes from an expert” as a primary support along with statistics and examples (see Chapter 1). Quotes used in the Conclusion should be relevant to your Thesis, or help take the readers a step further. The following are examples of quotes used in the Conclusion by student and professional writers.
Example 1: Bullies in the Workplace
In Example 1, a New York Times writer uses a quote to restate her Thesisin different words: “bullying has serious consequences on the job,” and uses a second quote to take the readers a step further: “if bullying in the workplace is allowed to continue, it will become part of the organizational culture and will be much more difficult to control.”