The Shadow Process

Assistant’s Manual: The Shadow Process

Assistant’s Manual

The Shadow Process

Dear Assistants,

Thank you for your willingness to share your light and for your contribution to this Shadow Process. It is going to be an awesome weekend filled with love and transformation and I am honored that you have chosen to be a part of it. You are a valuable and necessary part of the team and your participation is so very appreciated. I want you to know how much your commitment to this work means to me. Thank you!

While there may be an opportunity to participate in some of the processes, please remember that your primary responsibility is to the participants. Your primary responsibility is to hold the space and ensure the safety and possibility of transformation for all of the participants present. If you feel that you would rather participate more fully, I completely support you in participating in this Process and assisting at a later date.

I am so excited to share this journey with you and look forward to an extraordinary weekend of love and transformation.

With love and blessings,

Kelley

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Page

Section 1 – Important Information 4

Hours 4

Dress Code During the Weekend 4

Section 2 – The Big Picture: Being in the Room 5

A. Holding the Space 5

B.The Power of Intention 6

C.Movement in the Room 6

D.Movement During a Meditation 7

E.Participating as an Assistant in the Process 7

F.Feeding 8

Section 3 – Job Descriptions 9

1. Shared Duties 9

1. Meet and Greet 9

2. Helping with Room Setup 9

3. Nametags 10

4. Impeccability 10

5. Tissues 10

6. Coaching 10

1. Specific Duties to be Assigned 11

1. Room Set Up 11

Definition of a Functional Room 11

Definition of a Zen Room 11

a. Room Setup Team 12

b. Zen Team 12

1. Supplies Team 12

1. Time Keeper 13
2. Mic Runners 13
3. Assisting Kelley 13
4. Lights Team 14
5. Doors 15
6. Registration 15

Section 4 – After the Workshop 16

Section 5 – Final Notes 16

SECTION 1 - IMPORTANT INFORMATION

A. Hours

As you probably remember, the hours for the Shadow Process are long though very rewarding. As an assistant, the hours are longer and the experience even more rewarding. In preparation for your travel to the Shadow Process to assist, take care you are well-rested, well-nourished and spend some time in advance creating an intention for yourself for this experience.

Once at the Shadow Process, please be sure to take good care of yourself throughout the weekend by getting plenty of rest, keeping yourself hydrated and snacking throughout the day to keep your energy up. It is a good idea to bring some of your favorite things to snack on between meals as well as a water bottle to keep with you.

The hours are as follows: Friday 12:30 PM – 1:30 PM Registration

Friday2:00 PM – 9:30 PM General Session

Saturday 9:30 AM – 9:30 PM General Session

Sunday9:00 AM – 6:00 PM General Session

Starting/ending times are approximate. You will be told the time to come each day once you are here. Please keep in mind commute time, extra airport check in time and good-bye/hug/clean up time when booking your departing flights.

There will be lunch breaks each day and dinner breaks Friday and Saturday nights. Breakfast each day is on your own time before check-in at the appointed times. You are encouraged to eat a good healthy meal.

B. Dress Code During the Weekend

Though comfort is important, as the hours are long, it is important to present yourself in a polished, professional way. Blue jeans are not acceptable. Please dress accordingly, keeping in mind that you are representing The Ford Institute and The Shadow Process. Please ask yourself, "Is what I am wearing expressing the highest vision of me?" As Debbie was fond of saying, "People should not have to get around what you are wearing to hear what you are saying." If you have any questions on this, please contact Julie at

SECTION 2 – THE BIG PICTURE: BEING IN THE ROOM

Though each of you will be given a particular job to do, it is important to remember that we are all working as a team. Our team goal is to take care of and support the participants in the best way possible. This is their process and the team must be committed to do whatever it takes to ensure that the space remains sacred and safe so that the participants can experience their transformation. While you may have loved ones, friends, clients, or coaching colleagues in the process, the focus of your “beingness” over the weekend must be about supporting their process and transformation. It is not about catching up or socializing with people you know.

With that in mind, any job that you see that needs to be done is your responsibility. That means that if you see something that needs tending to and it is not technically your job, you could either let the person in charge of that job (or of the room) know or, if it doesn't interfere with your primary job, simply take care of it yourself. In this way, we are all supporting each other, which better serves the participants and Kelley.

1. Holding the Space

The most important job for all of us is a phrase you will be hearing frequently over the weekend and that is to HOLD THE SPACE. What this means is that we are responsible for setting and maintaining the energy of the room. The energy of the room is what you feel when you walk in. It is the tone, the vibrational frequency, which can be felt as soon as you enter the room.

This energy is critical. When the energy is clear and the space kept sacred, Kelley is free to be her most brilliant self and the participants are given the opportunity to go deeper in their transformation. When the space is noisy, confused or restless, it will be a hindrance to the transformation that is waiting to happen. The room set up (lights, candles, music, etc.) is a key element in creating that sacred and open space.

Having the assistants being positioned around the room and at the back of the space is an important part of how we hold the space energetically by our physical presence. It also allows us to be able to communicate with each other powerfully and invisibly, through eye contact or hand gestures, if any needs arise e.g. temperature change needed, lighting changes etc.

“Holding the space" is consciously choosing a way of being while inside the room. It is focusing 100% on the participants and on the room. This is the same space that we show up in when we are coaching. The participants cannot go any deeper than where we are! Holding the space means showing up with focus, clarity, depth and intention. It means coming from a place of compassion and interconnectedness: to the participants, to each other, to Kelley, and to our highest selves.

B. The Power of Intention

So, how do we “hold the space?” Even more important is the energy and intention that each of us brings to the room. It is about how we show up. It is about the space we are personally in. It is about the intention that we create and hold throughout the Process. Assistants should be “invisibly powerful” in the space of the room. "No Struggle, Seamless Transformation”, “May I be a tool for transformation" or "I surrender my will to that of the Divine in order to serve in the highest possible way" are all powerful intentions that help to create a sacred space and serve the unfolding of the Process. Prior to our day beginning, we will meet as a team to set an intention collectively and clear ourselves to be as present and powerful as possible to hold the space.

It is a good idea to take some time before the Process to go inside and allow your intention for the weekend to arise. It may help to journal about this. A clear intention from your inner knowing will serve the Process in a profound way. And no doubt, you will be in awe of the effect that your intention has on you personally. I would suggest doing this right now. Remember how strong and powerful intentions are. The sooner we each declare our intention to serve, to contribute, to transform, to love - or whatever arises from your consciousness - the sooner the Universe will respond and effortlessly organize the details for us.

C. Movement In the Room

If you are talking - even whispering - inside the room, it affects the space. If you are massaging someone, it affects the space. If you are daydreaming, it affects the space. If you are tapping your foot or are feeling restless, it affects the space. If you are moving and you don't absolutely need to, please don't. It affects the space.

This is where the teamwork is helpful. One, we can gently remind each other if our energy is not supporting the Process. Also, we can cover for each another and allow those who are in need of a break to take one. The best thing you can do for the participants is to take care of yourself and that may include taking a ten-minute walk, a short meditation or a snack break.

As you know, the room changes are frequent and after moving chairs around and getting participants seated, assistants sometimes go to the edge of the room and stand leaning against a wall or some other location in the room. Assistants should ALWAYS be at the same level as the participants or lower. If the participants are seated in a chair, you are seated in a chair or on the floor. If they are seated on the floor, you are seated on the floor. If the participants are standing, then assistants are standing. Please remind each other of this as it does affect the space.

1. Movement During a Meditation

Another thing that we are not only sensitive to but adamant about is that NO ONE ENTERS THE ROOM DURING A MEDITATION, PERIOD. During meditations, there will be someone assigned to be outside the doors who will not allow anyone to enter the room.

Along those lines, if you are in the room it is very important that you stay seated with your energy focused and tissues ready during a meditation. Unless you are following a participant out of the room, do not leave the room during a meditation. Unless you are handing out tissues, do not move during a meditation. If you must move during a meditation to hand out tissues, do it silently and with the intention of being powerfully invisible.

Remember, this is the participants’ safe place. The energy in the room will allow them to go deep, to places they may never have been before. You make this possible for them by creating a safe and sacred place for this transformation to occur.

1. Participating as an Assistant in Processes

On occasion, it will be necessary for an assistant to participate either in sharing after a process with a participant or to take part in an actual process yourself, e.g. negative mirroring, positive mirroring, forgiveness. This happens when there are an uneven number of participants in the room (someone is in the restroom; some participants decide to leave the Shadow Process). Be prepared for this possibility and know that you can make it happen seamlessly and that it is just perfect for you to be called to support the Shadow Process in this way.

In many processes, the participants may be asked to share with other participants. Just as when participants are in a seated meditation, it is important for the assistants to keep holding the space and the energy of the group by positioning themselves largely to the perimeter of the group. If a participant comes to share with you, you should be prepared to receive them and to share as well. Use your internal wisdom to guide you if you should initiate any sharing with a participant that seems unwilling to share with others. Do not be too quick to jump into the process yourself – you may be robbing a participant of part of their own process, which could be to experience feeling isolated and not connected to the group. Look and see that your motivation is still in alignment that the participants get everything they need to receive from their process.

After some processes there is a celebration and often some dancing. Again, be aware that this is still a process for the participants and it’s not about you jumping in the middle and starting a conga line. Continue to hold the space from the perimeter and ensure that your intention and focus remains on the participants, not yourself. You can of course join in the celebration, but it should be done in a supporting way, not a driving way. After all, this is not your coaching intensive or a party. This is a Shadow Process for the participants and while some of them may be feeling celebratory, others may be still in a deep process. Notice if you have any attachment to how you think it “should” be looking for the participants and see what you’d need to do to shift that and simply let it unfold perfectly for them.

1. Feeding

You should be aware of the phenomenon called “feeding”. When someone needs to suck energy from others they are feeding. After all, you’re an assistant so they may feel you can give them the answers they need or that you can lead them out of any discomfort they may be feeling. In that instance, continue to hold the highest vision of that person, that they have all the answers they need inside themselves and the intention that their experience is absolutely perfect for them. Notice what this may bring up for you – do you want to fix or help others, or have other people like you?

It is also possible for assistants to “feed” off the participants or other assistants and leaders in the room. It’s very important that you feed yourself internally, so that you minimize any desire to need to feed off other people. Self-acknowledgement and being in a state of gratitude for the opportunity to be of service and share the power of this work can support you in not becoming an energy “feeder.”

SECTION 3 - JOB DESCRIPTIONS

The following information describes the various jobs that will be assigned to each person throughout the weekend. Depending on the number of assistants, you may be assigned more than one job. Some jobs require the entire team's support in order to complete them in a timely and efficient manner. Those jobs are as follows.

1. Shared Duties

The following jobs will be shared by each member of the assisting team:

1. Meet and Greet

As long as it does not interfere with your primary job, please arrive ten to fifteen minutes before the participants are due back to be with the people. Some people will want to talk, some may need coaching, some may need help with their word lists and some will simply feel reassured by your presence. Meeting and greeting does not necessarily require conversation. It can be simply acknowledging the arrival of the participants through eye contact.

As you meet and greet people, please be aware of the flow of the Shadow Process itself. The first two days are dedicated to unconcealing and embracing the dark shadows. Greeting participants with cheery grins and bright eyes as they arrive to do their anger process would not be appropriate and could be a distraction. Your job is to hold the space even when you’re outside the room. Again, notice where your own discomfort may be coming up, note it and decide that you’ll handle it when the Shadow Process is not in session.

Some assistants will be stationed in the room to guide people to their seats. This can be done powerfully and silently. Use your eye contact and hand gestures to invite people to take their seats. Try and ensure that the front of the seating area gets filled first.

1. Helping with Room Setup

There will be several room changes and this process will flow much more smoothly and quickly if everyone pitches in to move chairs and reset the room as directed. As long as it does not interfere with your primary job responsibility, please stay and help until the room is impeccable - functional in format and zen in spirit. You’ll be directed on this by the person assigned for Room Set Up.

1. Nametags

This is the last job of the evening. It will get done much more quickly if everyone helps out, which allows everyone to get to bed sooner! It’s also an important way to keep track of attendance of the participants. Please spend an extra ten or fifteen minutes supporting your team and supporting the participants. The Registration Team will be managing this and will really appreciate your support.

1. Impeccability

If you see something that needs to be done, please do it. If the job requires more than you have time for or are able to do, let someone else know what needs to be done (usually the Room Set Up person or staff). See some used Kleenex on the floor? Take care of it. No garbage cans in sight? Find them. Chatty participants in the bathroom line-up while the room is journaling in silence, take care of it. Please do not contact the hotel for anything. This is left up to Julie to do.