The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens Journal
WHAT EXACTLY ARE HABITS?
Habits are things we do repeatedly. But most of the time we are hardly aware that we have them. They’re on autopilot.
Some habits are good, such as:
·Exercising regularly
·Planning ahead
·Showing respect for others
Some are bad, like:
·Thinking negatively
·Feeling inferior
·Blaming others
And some don’t really don’t matter, including;
·Taking showers at night
·Eating yogurt with a fork
·Reading magazines from back to front
Depending on what they are, our habits will either make us or break us. We become what we repeatedly do.
Luckily, you are stronger than your habits. Therefore, you can change them. For example, try folding your arms. Now try folding them in the opposite way. How does this feel? Pretty strange, doesn’t it? But if you folded them in the opposite way for 30 days in a row, it wouldn’t feel so strange. You wouldn’t even have to think about it. You’d get in the habit.
THE 7 HABITS REALITY CHECK
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Take responsibility for your life.
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Define your mission and goals in life.
Habit 3: Put First Things First
Prioritise, and do the most important things first.
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Have an everyone-can-win attitude.
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Listen to people sincerely.
Habit 6: Synergise
Work together to achieve more.
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
Renew yourself regularly.
The 7 Habits can help you:
·Get control of your life
·Improve your relationship with friends
·Make smarter decisions
·Get along with your parents
·Get more done in less time
·Increase your self-confidence
·Be happy
·Define your values and what matters most to you
·Find balance between school/college, work, friends, and everything else
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act but a habit.”
-Aristotle
List some of your good habits. For example, good habits include exercising, eating right or showing respect for others. What positive reinforcement do you give yourself when you practice good habits?
When habits go bad.
Habits are things we do consistently. Depending on what they are, they can make or break us. Like Aristotle said, we become what we do repeatedly. Now list a few of your not-so-good habits like negative thinking, lack of self-confidence, or blaming others. How do you feel when you choose to exercise a bad habit?
Habit removal.
What would you consider your worst habits? You may want to use some from the previous page. Which ones would you like to change the most? How are you going to change? Think about it. The only one stopping you is you.
Find your life centre.
Make a list about what’s important in your life right now. Does it revolve around school?
Friends? Sports? Ask yourself, “What matters most to me?”, “What do I obsess about?”, “What drives me?”.
The answers are your life centres. Now look over your list again. Circle the centre that is MOST important to you right now. Whether it’s stuff-centred, girlfriend-centred, or self-centred, the answer will reveal a lot about where you’re placing emphasis. If there’s too much emphasis in one area, you may see that you need more balance.
Dependency issues
Ever felt dependent on another person for your happiness? Who was it? Why did you let them rule your emotions? Know this-independence is much more attractive. And it feels better too. Being dependent only shows that you don’t know who you are. Write about independence.
Speak to me.
What are some of your favourite lyrics? Why do the lyrics speak to you? What is the song really about? Who are your favourite artists? If you could sing like anyone in the world who would it be? Try out your song-writing skills by writing a song of your own.
Alone time.
Where do you go to be alone? What do you think about? Do you like being alone a lot or just some of the time? Write about being alone.
“I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my eyes and all is born again.” -Sylvia Plath
Shut your eyes and go where you need to go in your head. Then open your eyes and write it out as a poem. Don’t let negative thinking like “I can’t write poetry” stop you. Nonsense! You can do anything!
Your Personal Bank Account
How you feel about yourself is like a bank account. Let’s call it your Personal Bank Account.
Think about what you can do to make a deposit into your Personal Bank Account, such as keeping a promise you make to yourself or being honest when it would be easier to tell a lie. What do you need to stop doing that’s taking withdrawals from your Personal Bank Account? Remember you make deposits or take withdrawals in your Personal Bank Account based on what you think, say, and do. Write about how you could build your Personal Bank Account.
It’s all a matter of balance.
Balancing everything in your life can be tough. When your life seems out of balance, how do you deal with it? Dive in? Or disintegrate? What helps you stay balanced?
“There is no such thing as failure. Mistakes happen in your life to bring into focus more clearly who you really are.” - Oprah Winfrey
What mistakes in your life were the absolute worst? Which ones have you learned from the most? How have you applied the lessons to your life? How did your life change as a result?
Let yourself shine!
What are your talents? Think about everything and anything that you are good at. Have other people said you were talented at something? Write down every talent you can think of, even the smallest ones.
Draw Your Talent. “HIDDEN TALENT COUNTS FOR NOTHING.” -Nero
What’s so great about you? Everything!
Check the word combination that describes you the closest.
- Intelligent/I’m going far.
- Romantic/All I think about is love.
- Carefree/I do what I want when I want.
- Angry/It’s the end of the world, as we know it.
- Bored/I’m outta here.
- Life of the party/I’m a social animal.
- Energetic/Sports are my life.
- Talented/I have star power.
- Anti-social/I’m hating life.
- Independent/I make the trends, not follow them.
- Low self-esteem/Everyone hates me.
- I love myself/I’m totally happy with my life.
- Other
If you could change anything about your personality, what would it be?
Past relationships.
What relationships in your life have you cherished most? What did those people bring to your life? What have you learned? How did they affect who you are today? Do you appreciate your time together regardless of how it ended? Are you still friends? Write about relationships that have mattered most.
Habit 1: Be Proactive
It’s your world. Be in it.
Simply put, being proactive means taking responsibility. If you’re not in charge of your life, nothing else is really possible. Choose not to be a victim, to be reactive, or to blame others. Being responsible feels good. Think about a time when you took charge. What were the results? How did you feel being the leader? What are some other ways you can take charge?
Who’s the boss?
Do you take responsibility when things don’t go as expected? Or do you look around for someone to blame? Be honest now! Leaders know how to accept defeat gracefully, learn from their experience, and do it differently next time. Write about an experience when you were responsible for something that didn’t turn out as expected. What did you learn? How has it affected your decisions today?
The blame game
Have you ever been blamed unfairly for something? Why? How did you react? When have you blamed others for your problems? Were they really to blame?
Be gutsy.
When has a setback turned into a triumph? How did it happen? Think about how your gutsy attitude and proactivity turned things around. What is something you want to be gutsy about in the future?
Role Models: Who are yours?
Who do you admire? Who are your role models? Mentors? What do you admire most about them? What can they teach you? Do you think people in the public eye should worry about being role models?
Have a day.
You decide what kind of day you want to have! Take yourself to something new and exciting. Do something you’ve never done before. Take a can-do approach and just make it happen. What will you do? Write about it.
Hit pause.
Next time you get mad or upset, put yourself on pause. Think about how you want to respond first. Here are four tools to help you pause for your cause:
- self-awareness (observing thoughts and actions)
- conscience (listening to your inner thoughts)
- imagination (envisioning new possibilities)
- willpower (the power to choose)
Think about a time you reacted poorly or too quickly. How can you use the four tools to handle a difficult situation differently next time?
I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am. I am.”
- Sylvia Plath
Take a deep breath and brag about yourself. Start with “I am”. Write everything that you are and don’t stop until you are exhausted. Then revel in everything that you are. You’re amazing.
Habit 2: Begin With The End In Mind
Your perfect world.
Control your own destiny or someone else will. What you do today will affect you tomorrow no doubt about it. If you could plan your perfect life, your destiny, what would it look like? What would you do? What skills would you need? Where would you live? Who would be a part of your life? Write about your life as if it’s happening right now.
Bragging rights.
Describe yourself as if you were giving yourself a recommendation. Write about what you look like. What’s interesting about you? How do you excel? What drives you?
Positive influences.
Who has made a positive difference in your life? What is so admirable about that person?
How can that person’s example help you in your own life?
Friends and family
If your friends and family could say something about you, what would you want them to say?
Write what you hope they think of you.
Dream on.
If you could do whatever you wanted for six months, what would it be? Would you travel around the world? Write a book? Take acting classes? Start now to visualise your dream. It’s the best way to make it happen.
“Every day is my best day; this is my life; I’m not going to have this moment again.” - Bernie Siegel, M.D.
Describe today as if it is the best day of your life. Turn any negatives into positives. You will never have this moment again so write about it with passion. Then take that passion and apply it to tomorrow.
Habit 3: Put First Things First
Time Quadrants: Can you find yourself?
URGENT /NOT URGENT
1.THE PROCRASTINATOR
I exam tomorrow
M
P friend gets injured
O
R late to work
T
A project due today
N
T car breaks down / 2.
THE PRIORITISER
planning, goal setting
essay due in a week
exercise
relationships
relaxation
3.
THE YES-MAN
N
O unimportant phone calls
T
interruptions
I
M other people’s
P
O small problems
R
O peer pressure
R
T
A
N
T / 4.
THE SLACKER
too much TV
endless phone calls
online overkill
excessive computer games
shopping marathons
time wasters
Where do you land?
Based on the four quadrants on the previous page, what quadrant are you in? What type of person are you? Where do you spend the majority of your time? While we all spend time in each quadrant, Quadrant 2 tends to bring us the most happiness and satisfaction. Try to be a Prioritiser to bring control, balance, and high performance into your life. How can you be a better prioritiser?
Prioritise your life.
Make a list of all the things that need prioritising in your life. Remember to put the big rocks (the most important things) first. Refer to your list often.
Your most horrifying moment.
Been embarrassed beyond belief? What happened? How did you deal with it? What lesson did you learn? How would you handle it differently now that you’ve had time to reflect on it?
Fear Central: What scares you?
Write about your fears. They can be anything from fear of snakes to fear of the leaving cert. How do you handle fear? Or does fear handle you?
“If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn’t be human, you’d be a game show host.” -from the movie, Heathers
What does happiness mean to you? Write about a time when you were the happiest. What would make you happy right this minute? Do you think it’s okay not to be happy? How often?
Peer Pressure: Can you handle it?
Have you ever done something you didn’t want to do because of peer pressure? How did you feel? How could you handle it differently next time? Who influences you the most both positively and negatively?
“Successful people are successful because they form habits of doing those things that failures don’t like to do.” -Albert E. Gray
Make a list of all the stuff you don’t like to do. How can those dreaded activities lead you to your goals? Look at it this way- cleaning your room will help you become organised.
Habit 4: Think Win - Win
A competitive nature.
Competition is healthy when it’s approached with a good attitude. How has competition helped you? How has it hurt you? How do you handle competition?
Compliments will get you everywhere.
Do you know how to give a compliment? Have you given one lately? To who? Was it from the heart? Can you accept a compliment by saying thank you instead of downplaying it? Write about giving compliments. Then on the next page, make a list of the compliments you’ve received lately and from whom.
Hey jealousy.
What shade of green lurks in your heart? Have you ever been jealous of anyone? Who? Why? Remember jealousy gets you nowhere fast. And it feels awful!
Habit 5: Seek First To Understand Then To Be Understood
Don’t ignore this.
Think of a time you purposely ignored someone. Why? Who has ignored you? How did it make you feel? Did you do anything about it or just let it go? What can you do next time someone ignores you?
You never ever listen to me!
Here are 10 ways to judge communication skills with your parents. (Parents aren’t perfect either so give them a break if they don’t get all 10.) As a family, you’ll need to work on all of them together. You’ll be amazed at the difference!
Do your parents:
Yes No
Set aside time to talk?Listen to you?
Ask questions?
Ask for your opinion?
Not interrupt while you’re talking?
Listen to your suggestions?
Offer alternative choices?
Ask you for a solution?
Consider your feelings?
Take your point of view into consideration?
My parents’ score:
Write about the areas in which your parents could improve their communication skills.
How can you work together to incorporate these ideas into your relationship?
Are you talking to me?
When it comes to making conversation, do you speak up or just sit there in silence? Think of some easy conversation starters. What interesting experiences have you had that you could talk about.
List them.
“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view-until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” -Harper Lee
Imagine yourself inside someone else’s skin. Someone very different from you. Write about how it feels to think from a different perspective.
Habit 6: Synergise
Synergy 101
Synergy is two or more people working together to create a better solution than they could alone. When have you worked together to achieve a better solution? Did you attempt to do it ”your way?” Did you do it “their way” so you wouldn’t hurt any feelings? How did you arrive at the solution?
Snob police.
Have you ever been involved with a clique or a special group that rejected others who weren’t up to their standards? If so, did it really make you feel superior? Have you ever been judged for one reason or another? How did you feel? Write about making judgements. Can you always rely on your first impressions?
“I went to a restaurant the other night and all the girls ignored me- it was so annoying.” -Leonardo DiCaprio