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Erik Erikson

Erik Erikson

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The psychosocial stages of Erik Erikson are based on a model of challenge and result: meeting the challenges of the stage, and breaking through them, will result in a positive outcome. Neglecting to take the challenge, or failing to accomplish it, will have the exact, negative outcome. The idea behind accomplishing the challenge of each stage is to move on yet another step into maturity. If each challenge is met effectively, the chances are better for a higher quality of life, where mental health and social relationships are optimal (Erikson, 1969).

The observations done for this project were of two people within the same psychosocial stage, but with two dramatically different outcomes. The rationale behind the outcomes is clear: it is all based on choice-making, and the willingness to accept the need for change. The third observation was on a 20-year-old male who, despite of his presumably immature age, has managed to do much better than the 47-year-old woman that had the negative outcome in her psychosocial stage. I believe that this is a noteworthy observation that goes to show that maturity is not necessarily precluded by age, and that age does not prescribe mature behavior. It is all based on personality, and the way that we nourish it, based on environmental inputs that we adopt through time. (Hirsch, 2016)

Observing the 47-year-old woman was interesting because she had been a subject of conversation among her friends, and former friends, for quite some time. This is due to her odd behavior, her bizarre decision making, and the fact that she has remained in the same state for the past 20 years without changing neither her personality, nor her expectations of life; a life that has proven less than productive for her, which is why she is in a state of stagnation.

The factors that lead to where she is now are quite telling. Due to a stubborn personality, and a suspected personality disorder, Paula is a woman who has consistently missed the social cues that several friends and romantic partners have shown her over the years. Every man she has dated since age 27 has abandoned the relationship including the one man she managed to marry at age 30, who waited 3 months into the marriage to request a military reassignment and, once gone, asked for a divorce via e-mail.

Paula has a tendency to question people, mistrust everyone, and impose her point of view upon others. For this reason, both male companions and female friends have opted to remove or distance themselves from her. She has taken to move from one location to another almost every 3 years, as she is presumably “not happy” anywhere she goes. She changes jobs consistently, always citing never being happy. Nowadays, Paula has moved again to a place where she had already moved from before. She still looks for the same qualities in male companions that have proven to be a failure to her in the past. She goes for younger, dependent men who eventually find someone younger to date and leave her. This has been her life since age 27.

As a curious note, Paula continues to make the same choices, expecting different results. She continues to move from state to state, but within a specific radius. She does not move overseas, where she could find a job through her company, nor does she venture anywhere outside of the Southeast area. This, regardless of the fact that she has no ties to hold her anywhere. Even her family is concerned enough to encourage her to do “something else”. What Paula seems to be experimenting is perhaps deep anxiety, depression, or perhaps even a deep personality disorder that limits her from making healthy decisions. Whatever the case, to this day, Paula expects something to happen in her life without her making any different choices or actions to propel these things to happen. (Howes, 2014)

In deep contrast, I found myself wondering how two people of approximate ages, with similar upbringings, backgrounds, education, socioeconomic status, and even the same opportunities, can fall so dramatically in opposite ends. The answer may be the ability to accept changes around us and, most importantly, the willingness to exert changes within ourselves. I imagine that I could have ended my life the way Paula is living hers, in total stagnation. However, I took risks and made choices that were sometimes incorrect, or maybe unproductive, but led to other doors opening in a way that allowed me to atone for whatever mistakes I made in the past. It is a matter of opening up, accepting the challenge, and pushing yourself to your proximal zone.

As a result, I am able to say that, contrary to Paula, I have close acquaintances that have done things for me that are the closest thing to what friends and family do for loved ones. I have accepted helping hands as well as criticism. I am not afraid to say that I am wrong, or that I do not know enough of something. I am willing to learn new things and, if anyone ever uses me as a butt of jokes, I end up laughing along. This has earned me a lot of respect from co-workers who think of me as a strong and assertive woman, whether sometimes I may wonder about this myself, like everyone does. The outcome of Paula, and my outcome, reflect clearly what occurs when the challenge of a psychosocial stage is either not met, met with difficulty, or failed. I got the positive outcome, and she got the negative one. In Erikson’s theory (1969), it is clear that he was right.

The psychosocial stage of Intimacy vs. Isolation is perhaps the most interesting of all these observations. It is interesting because it shows a positive outcome from someone presumably young and comparably immature when contrasted with the first example. A 20-year-old college student who is neither a “frat-boy jock,” womanizer, alcoholic, drug addict, neurotic, nor socially anxious. This is an example of how healthy previous psychosocial challenges have been met, leading to a point where, in a place as vulnerable as college, this young man manages to keep afloat and remain strong. In theory, Gabe must have been able to navigate his other psychosocial stages in a way that, whether he met the challenge or not, he was able to adapt himself to his environment, accept change, and enable it within himself (Hirsch, 2016). That is quite a feat for someone so young, if you think about it. It is not easy to be young in a society that promotes narcissism, shallow behavior, self-exposure and the need to being perfect, and still manage not to care too much about social pressure. That shows that something within the personality of this young man was strong enough to trigger a personal safety response where the influence of others does not, and will not, supersede what he feels is right for him. This denotes a personality that has been built strongly by adapting social inputs into positives, thus making his ego, as Freud would say, strong in a healthy kind of way. (Hirsch, 2016)

In retrospect, one must look at one’s life and see which life changing events were significant enough to change the way we view ourselves, and others. In the case of Paula, something clearly triggered a response to her environment that prompted her to preserve a specific behavior, and compulsively stick with it in hopes that something in the process of conducting such behavior will trigger a different outcome. The problem with this approach is that every action causes a reaction and a consequence. As such, Paula is stagnating her time when she moves around the same circles, which she ends up destroying, hopes to meet the same types of individuals that end up abusing her kindness, or insists on behavior toward others in a way that is divisive and disagreeable. If she decides to make no changes in her personality, the chances of advancing to a proximal level of maturity are very low. (Hirsch, 2016)

The best way to approach all of this is by facing life with an open mind, which is not easy to do, and a humble character, which is scary. Many see these two thing as signs of weakness when, in fact, they are the best way to show transparency and a willingness to form a part of something bigger, and better, than ourselves.

Name of person Observed / Age / Gender / Current Developmental Stage / Status Within the Stage / Events that have led to this Status
Paula Hall / 47 / F / Generativity Vs. Stagnation / Stagnation / As a result of waiting for this one man that does not appear, Paula has remained childless, has not taken the risk of moving outside of a three-state area, has not purchased a home or even started a graduate degree. It is as if she is “waiting” after 20 years for something to happen.
Judging from her social media, Paula hides from everyone, which is unlikely for a single woman of her same age with healthy hobbies, friends, and a satisfactory life. Instead, she seems to be operating on “stealth” mode online.
Judging by the time she has behaved in this matter, Paula has maintained the same behavior for the past 20 years without changing anything. Still, she continues to do the same things expecting different results.
Gabe J. / 20 / M / Intimacy vs. Isolation / Intimacy / Gabe is a typical college kid, but he has a deeper and more sensitive side than the typical “frat boy” who parties his way through college and exploits women and alcohol. In a dramatic and surprising contrast, my son’s military training seems to have build character in him, and he enjoys college life in a bunch of different ways: through film-making, going to concerts, creating heavy metal music, and spending time with his girlfriend.
His relationship with his girlfriend is also positively surprising. She and he seem to share the same likes, love being city slickers, share a love for music, food and politics and they live like roommates even though they are romantically involved. They have managed to preserve a friendship within the parameters of a typical relationship, which shows that he has found a way to feel comfortable through intimacy and has no fear of showing, or receiving love.
Myself / 43 / F / Intimacy v. Isolation / Intimacy / After taking a chance on life, I have forced myself “out of my cocoon” and have managed to establish meaningful relationships with my co-workers. I have also found a passion in several hobbies, which has expanded my circle of friends. I have been with my significant other for several years now and, even though I do not plan to marry, we are happily committed to enjoy each other’s company for many years.
I have a son who is 20 now, and I love seeing him grow and become his own person. My relationship with him has opened my mind to help me understand younger generations better and get along with them.
I feel very connected with those around them and I have managed to make them feel comfortable with me. They trust me as a leader in my workplace and I think I have figured out that transparency and honesty build lifelong healthy relationships.

References

Erikson E. (1969) Identity: youth and crisis. New York: Norton

Hirsch, P. (2016) Personality and environmental concern Journal of Environmental Psychology

(30) 2. 245-248. Retrieved from

Howes, R. (2014) The Definition of Insanity is: perseverance versus perseveration. Psychology Today (2), retrieved from