The Professor and the Boatman
The Professor And The Boatman
Actors: Professor, Boatman.
(Professor is in an intellectual huff and approaches Boatman by the side of a river. He carries an umbrella)
Narrator: Our scene opens on the bank of the Ganges river, opposite to the city of Benares. The professor is in a hurry to cross the Ganges in time for his scheduled lecture as a guest speaker at the prestigious Institute of Scienceology.
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Professor: (irritated, in a hurry, talking to himself) I can't believe it! I am already late for the seminar! How am I supposed to get across this river now and be at the university on time?
(Sees Boatman sitting and mending something)
Professor: Hey Boatman! Can you take me across the river? I am already late..
Boatman: Yes, sir. Please climb aboard!
(The boatman was rowing for some time singing a song on Krishna [hare Krishna hare krishna]… the professor starts a conversation)
Professor: Hey Boatman! Did you ever consider investing in a motorboat?
Boatman: Invest?... Motor...?
Professor: Sure. You could have invested your savings in a first-class motorboat. You could carry a lot more passengers and make a lot more money. And with the profit, you could buy more boats .. and by now you could be a rich man. Money makes money, they say!
Boatman: (gravely) Hmmm... money... I'm certainly not a rich man, but I get by with whatever Bhagavan gives to me. And whatever excess money I have, I use it for Krishna.
Professor: This religion nonsense! It is one thing I have to agree with Karl Marx about: "Religion is the opiate for the people." Have you ever heard of Karl Marx?
Boatman: He is a movie actor, isn't he?
Professor: (turns to audience) Just see! He doesn't know ‘anything’! He hasn't the slightest idea about economics, neither for his own economic advancement nor in theory. He has no idea about the great theories of economics, by which this whole world moves! (turns to Boatman) I must say, Boatman.., 25% of your life is wasted!
Boatman: Well, I wouldn't say "wasted" sir! I learnt lot about Bhagavan from hari kathas from Mahabharata and Ramayana. Have you heard of these books, sir?
Professor: Of course, of course — mythology, all my-tho-lo-gy! Boatman, the water is becoming rather choppy and the sky is getting dark. While you're out here, have you ever thought about the relationship between total torque and cross-current impact?
Boatman: No, sir, I can't say that I have.
Professor: For one thing, a more streamlined apparatus should yield a greater mechanical advantage. But then, I don't suppose you've studied much about physics, have you?
Boatman: None at all, sir. I just row this boat across this river for 20 years.
Professor: Boatman, Have you ever looked into statistics and probability? I'm thinking here of Gaussian or possibly Poisson distribution. With all these dark clouds coming in over us, do you have any idea what a graph of storm probability would look like?
Boatman: No, sir, I never have studied whatever it is you're talking about. I have no idea as what you mean.
Professor: You mean you've never studied advanced mathematics? Ah, then, my dear fellow, you should know that you've surely wasted 50% of your life.
Boatman: You're probably right, sir. I just row this boat across this river for the past 20 years.. By the way, sir, there seems to be a big storm coming and we are only 50% of the way. The type of sound these frogs are making tells me that there is a big storm coming.
Professor: Tell me, Boatman, do you know anything about gauging deviations from the STP — standard temperature and pressure — to forecast wind velocity in a storm center?
Boatman: I'm sorry, sir, I really don't.
Professor: You're a bit dense, Boatman, aren't you? Are you telling me that you've never learned anything about meteorology? Do you know that we have gone to moon and made huge advancement?
Boatman: I guess I don’t know about that, sir.
Professor: Well, then, you've wasted a full 75% of your life! What do you have to say for yourself? Nothing! Simply nothing! What a waste of life!!
Boatman: I just row this boat across this river... I am doing this for 20 years. Sir, please hold on tight! It's really raining and blowing hard and the water current is very strong! Sir, I do not understand the use of going to moon and finding rocks there sir! I think that our goal should be first to find out who we are.
Professor: (offended) You think I don't know who I am!? Of course I know who I am! I am the famous Professor Dr.Swag-a-lot, with degrees in several subjects, including Astro-physical-biology and Ontological-paleo-cryptology. I have studied so many subjects and written hundreds of papers and articles and books. I simply have no time...!
Boatman: Sir! You have no time to consider who you actually are... The goal of life is to realize who you really are — as an eternal spirit soul... Sir, it looks like we have a very severe storm coming.. Sir, please hold yourselves very tight.. the storm is getting worse..
(The storm now attacks the boat... The storm now overtakes and the boat capsizes, the Professor flails about, reaching out with umbrella handle but hooking nothing)
Professor: Boatman! Boatman!!
Boatman: Sir! We'll have to swim the rest of the way!
Professor: (panicking, tearful) Swim?! You are going to swim?
Boatman: What else is there to do? The boat is finished! Excuse me sir, it's not too far to swim.. We can reach the other side in just 15 minutes.. Can you swim, by the way?
Professor: Nooooooooooooooooo!
(gasping for last breath) I did not learn swimming!
Boatman: Sir,. Then you have wasted 100% of your life !
(Boatman swims on while the Professor drowns in the water helplessly)
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Moral of the story: Whatever else we may learn in our life's journey, there's one thing we all need to know: how to cross safely to the spiritual world when our material body "capsizes." Therefore, while all the technological science can analyze things and perhaps make our voyage more comfortable, we need the spiritual knowledge to make it really successful. Spiritual knowledge is the only real knowledge.
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