The Parental Blessing

Genesis 27:34-38

Intro

Fatherhood has changed a lot over the years. I heard about a father being asked who was in charge at his home. He answered, “Well, my wife bosses the children. My children boss the dog and the cat, and I can say anything I want to the tulips.”

I’d like for you to turn with me to Genesis 27, to the story of Isaac bestowing the blessing on his son Jacob. Of course, the blessing was intended for the oldest son, Esau. But through deception the blessing was given to Jacob instead.
As you may remember, Isaac and Rebecca had twin sons, Esau and Jacob, who were not anything alike. Esau was an outdoorsman with hairy arms and hands and he loved hunting and fishing. Jacob was more of a homebody, and spent a lot of time with his mother.
In Genesis 27 wefind Isaac, their father, has grown old and blind, and he decides it is time to pass on the blessing to his oldest son, which is Esau.
Now a Jewish father’s blessing was a formal passing on of the father’s honour and authority to his oldest son. And since the eldest son was assuming the leadership responsibilities of the family, he also received a double share of his father’s possessions. So the bestowing of the blessing was a very important event in the Hebrew home and culture.

For sons and daughters in biblical times, receiving their father’s blessing was a momentous event – a rite of passage. It gave their children a tremendous sense of being highly valued by their parents.

Dr. Gary Smalley (a family psychologist and counselor) wrote a book entitled, “The Blessing.” In it he examines the blessing that Isaac bestowed upon Jacob and he says, “The blessing contains four ingredients that ought to be present in every home today. And when those four ingredients are present, and practiced consistently, then our children grow up solid, secure and confident of themselves, able to go out into the world and function normally.”
Let me share with you those 4 ingredients of Isaac’s blessing found in Genesis 27.
1. A MEANINGFUL TOUCH
Dr. Smalley says that the first ingredient was a meaningful touch. Notice Gen. 27: 22, “Jacob went close to his father Isaac, who touched him.” Verse 26 says, “Then his father Isaac said to him, `Come here, my son, and kiss me.”
Now this is not an isolated incident in Scripture. Almost every time a blessing is bestowed in the Hebrew tradition, it involves touching - the laying on of hands, a kiss, an embrace - something that conveys acceptance and love.
The 10th chapter of the Gospel of Mark it says that people brought children to Jesus so that He could touch them. The Scripture says that Jesus took them in his arms, andput his hands on them, and "blessed them." (Mark 10:16).
Jesus knew exactly that children need to be loved and feel loved and accepted. So he embraced them and blessed them.
It’s important to do that in our homes, too. When children are very young you can’t communicate love with words because they don’t understand words yet. But the best way to communicate love to a very small child is to demonstrate it by embracing them, cuddling them, and holding them close with affection and pure love.
Jacob was 40 years old when Isaac embraced him and kissed him to convey the blessing to him. And no matter the age, I think it is important to continue to communicate love, acceptance and affection in some meaningful way.

Writing in his book, How To Really Love Your Child, psychologist Dr. Ross Campbell says, “With our hands (as parents) we have a way of assuring our children’s emotional security and our success as parents.” Children and spouses thrive on meaningful and appropriate touch. Without question, they are blessed by it. It helps them to know that they are loved, accepted valued, and cared for.
The first ingredient of the blessing was a meaningful touch.
2. A SPOKEN WORD OF AFFECTION & LOVE
The second ingredient was a spoken word or message of affection and love. Listen as Isaac blesses his son in the last part of Gen. 27: 27, “Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed.”
I suppose today a person would not consider it a compliment to be told, “You smell like a field. I just wanted you to know that!”
But to an old outdoorsman like Isaac, who thought he was speaking to Esau, the smell of a field ready for harvest was a great smell. It was a compliment, a positive message that communicated his love and affection.

Neil Chetnik reminisced in an article in USA Today (June 14, 2001). He tells about the time he and his father were going through some of his grandfather’s papers. It was the first time he had ever seen his dad cry. His dad said, “I am crying not only for my father, but also for me. His death means I’ll never hear the words I’ve always wanted to hear from him: that he was proud of me, proud of the family I’d raised and the life I’ve lived.”

Words like “I’m proud of you,” “I love you,” and “You’re a joy in my life.” can make such a profound difference in a child’s life. Our words can truly bless and bring great rewards.
You see, too often parents are quick to criticize and remind children of their mistakes. “You dummy, why did you spill the milk? You’re lazy. I’m disappointed in you.” Words of criticism that really don’t accomplish much and all they do is cause a child to withdraw.
I think there is room for constructive criticism. But it’s more important to communicate love through words that say, “You mean a lot to me. You’re such a good son and daughter. I’m glad that God gave you to us. You’re better than any gift I could ever receive. Father’s Day is special just because you’re here.”
Those are words that communicate acceptance and love. And they need to be spoken over and over again, even when our children stumble and fall. Don’t wait until the last minute to do it.

3. THE ATTRIBUTING OF A HIGH VALUE

The third ingredient was the attributing of a high value. Notice what Isaac says in Gen. 27:28, “May God give you of heaven’s dew and of earth’s richness - an abundance of grain and new wine.”
Basically Isaac is saying, “You’re special and God will give you the best He has to give.”
We’re constantly being told that we should teach our children to have a good, positive self-image, to build up their self-worth. So it is important to teach the child, “You’re so valuable that God even came into our world to die on the cross for you.”
But it’s not just by words. We teach values in a number of ways. A lot of times when a child comes, we’re too busy. We have one eye on the computer or cell phone and the other eye on them, and we can’t concentrate on what they’re saying.
So when a child comes to talk to you, get off thecomputer or cell phoneand look them in their eyes. You’ll see wonder after wonder when you look into a child’s eyes, sparkling with excitement. They have so many things they’re anxious to tell you. So look at them, and listen to what they have to say!
That communicates value. “You’re very important to me. You’re an extremely valuable part of our family. I’m glad God gave you to us.”

4. THE PICTURING OF A GLORIOUS FUTURE
Thefourth ingredient was the picturing of a glorious future. In Gen. 27:29 Isaac says to Jacob, “May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed andthose who bless you be blessed.”
His father Isaac is helping him to raise his sights and see that his future is bright.
That is an important responsibility of parents, isn’t it? We all know that passage in Proverbs that says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).
But we’re also to help our children find their purpose, and discover who they are. God made them special. So as they’re growing up, help them understand their gifts and talents, and what they’re best suited to do in life. Counsel and guide them to become the kind of person God wants and made them to be.
The mistake most of us make as parents is that we try to get our children to become what we want them to be, rather than what God made them to be.
Illustration

In the movie, “Dead Poets Society” it depicts afellow who wanted very much to become an actor when he grew up. But his father wanted him to be a doctor.
The school put on a play which his father reluctantly attended. He was the star of the play and did such asuperb job that he was given a standing ovation at the end.
After the play was over the father took his son home and said, “I’m not going to let you waste your life being an actor. I’m going to take you out of this school tomorrow and send you to a military academy.” That night the boy committed suicide.
It’s just a story, I guess, or is it? I wonder how many people have tried to force their children into becoming something God never equipped them for, or intended them to be.
Our responsibility as parents is to help our children see themselves for who they really are, and to help them prepare for a glorious future.
I think this is the glue that holds a family together - A meaningful touch, a spoken word of love and affection, attributing a high value, and picturing a glorious future.

Conclusion

Esau was distraught when he found out that he was tricked by his brother out of the blessing. Esau wept loud to his father saying, “Do you have only one blessing, my father? Bless me too, my father” (Verse 38).
Can you feel the anguish and hurt in the cry, ‘BLESS ME, BLESS ME TOO?’ This same painful cry and unfulfilled longing is being echoed by many sons and daughters who are searching for their parent’s blessing, men and women whose parents, for whatever reason, have failed to bless them with words of love and acceptance.

Every one longs for and needs the blessing of their parents. We all need to be genuinely loved, valued, accepted and appreciated by our parents. When we give the blessing to those in our homes, we empower them to live much happier and much more fulfilling lives. Nothing does more to strengthen our families and improve the atmosphere of our homes than expressions of love, acceptance and appreciation.

We need to find ways to bless those in our families. Our family members need the blessing from us far more than they need all the material and temporal things that we labour so diligently to provide them with. One of the greatest things that we can do for our children and grand-children is to give them our blessing.

In one of his monthly newsletters, Dr. James Dobson writes, “The family is being buffeted and undermined by the forces operating around it. Alcoholism, pornography, gambling, infidelity, and other virulent infections have seeped into the bloodstream. Clearly, there is trouble on the home front. And as we all know, it is the children who are suffering most from it.” He goes on to say, “I believe the future of western civilization depends on how we handle this present crisis. Why? Because we as parents are raising the next generation of children who will either lead with honour and integrity or abandon every good thing they have inherited. They are the bridges to the future.”

Many wonder how they can protect their children and provide a happy, healthy, harmonious home in these decadent times. The best thing that any of us can do is to allow Christ to bless us…and then allow Him to teach us how to bless those in our homes.

In his article, Dr. Dobson continued on by saying, “I once had a conversation with a man named Bill Houghton, who was president of a large construction firm. Through the years, he had hired and managed thousands of employees. I asked him: ‘When you are thinking of hiring an employee - especially a man - what do you look for? His answer surprised me. He said, ‘I look primarily at the relationship between the man and his father. If he felt loved by his dad and respected his authority, he’s likely to be a good employee.’ Then he added, ‘I won’t hire a young man who has been in rebellion against his dad. He will have difficulty with me, too.’” Dr. Dobson concludes by saying, “I have observed that the relationship between a boy and his father sets the tone for so much of what is to come. He is that important at home.”

Dads and moms - make it a point to bless your children every day. Look for ways to express your love and acceptance and their value and worth. It is never too late to start no matter what age. Bless your children.

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