“The Monster Who ate Australia” by Michael Salmon
published 1986 NB Australia first won the America’s Cup in 1983
The Boggabri is an extremely rare Australian mammal.
Like its cousin, the Bunyip, it eats a lot and is very shy.
But unlike the Bunyip, it has peculiar teeth that grow longer each day.
To keep them trimmed, the Boggabri chews rocks or other hard objects.
It lives in large caves in Central Australia,
grows to about 10 metres and is green with a spotted stomach.
The last person to see one was Ms Alice Humbolt in the NullaborDesert in 1962.
Uluru
Burra, the Boggabri, lived in a cave at Ayers Rock. He liked desert life. It was quiet and peaceful. Not far away was the Olgas with nice tasty rocks to gnaw on.
But one day the bus tours started. Loads of Tourists came to peer at the Rock and climb on it. Burra was lucky his cave was well hidden.
“What noisy animals these tourists are!” thought Burra. Their radios kept him awake till late at night and their engines and horns woke him up early in the mornings. They didn’t even taste good. Burra nibbled on a four-wheel-drive one night but the fumes made him sneeze.
“I’ve had enough,” he thought. One moonlit night he crept quietly past the tents and caravans and off into the desert.
Burra walked for days over the dry stony ground. He ate a few rocks when he was hungry, but even a Boggabri can’t live on rocks alone. He tried a spiny bush, but it tasted awful and only made him thirsty.
Burra began to worry. The desert seemed to go on forever. His eyes were sore and he had blisters on his feet. “I should never have left my old home” he thought miserably. Just as he was about to give up he saw some water sparkling on the horizon. “I bet it’s another mirage,” he thought. But he plodded on-just in case.
Perth
Burra reached the sea near Perth, and waddled along the sand. He saw sailors pouring something bubbly into a huge shiny cup. “I must be delirious,” thought Burra, “but who cares.” He grabbed the cup and in one gulp he swallowed the bubbly drink and the cup. ”Gasp!” said the crowd. They were too shocked to do anything else. This monster had eaten their greatest trophy – The America’s Cup!
Burra felt wonderful. He tiptoed giddily to the end of the pier, twirled daintily on one foot and fell into the sea with a silly grin on his face. Then he swam and frolicked along the coast until he came to a nice quiet river.
Adelaide
Burra climbed onto the river bank, right next to Adelaide’s Festival Hall. “That’s a funny looking rock,” he said to a pelican. “I’ll see what it tastes like.” Soon he had eaten a big hole out of one corner. Some angry actors yelled at him. “Buy a ticket if you want to see the show!” “Uh-oh,” thought Burra,”more noisy Tourists.” And he jumped back into the water.
Hobart
Burra floated with the currents. Before long he started to feel cold. So he climbed onto the shore beside an orchard, just outside Hobart. Tree after tree of juicy red apples were soon disappearing down his throat. “I’ve never tasted anything so delicious,” he thought. Suddenly something hard hit him on the nose. The farmers and children were pelting Burra with apples and yelling at him.
“More noisy Tourists,” muttered Burra. “They’re everywhere!” And he lumbered off.
Burra was feeling queer. “It must be all those apples,” he thought. “Too much sloppy food is bad for a Boggabri.” He looked around for something hard to chew on and decided to take a bite out of a tall funny-shaped rock.(Wrest Point Casino) “Phtewie! That tastes awful,” said Burra, spitting out coins and notes. “I’m not staying here.” And he stalked off, back to the sea.
Melbourne
Burra decided to float for awhile. He soon dozed off and drifted into Port Phillip Bay and up the YarraRiver to Melbourne. SWOOOSH! A rowing boat swept past Burra, just missing his nose. He got such a shock he swallowed a huge mouthful of muddy Yarra water.
“Yuck! That tastes awful!” said Burra. He climbed onto the bank. Rain poured down and everyone seemed to be playing football. The water made him feel sick and he was greener than ever. He took one last look at the Yarra. ”I’m not getting back into that,” he said to himself, and headed inland.
Canberra
Burra sat in Lake Burley Griffin under the water spout and washed the Canberra dust away. “After my shower, I’ll have a meal,” he thought and looked around for something to eat. A flash of colour caught his eye and he lumbered off to the National gallery.
Some of the paintings were delicious. He was enjoying ”Blue Poles” when suddenly the alarm went off. Burra hated noise. He let the Curator have his painting back and went sadly on his way. “I’ll head north where it is nice and warm – and quiet” he thought.
SunshineCoast - Nambour
One morning Burra pushed through some tropical plants and there, right in front of him, was the biggest pineapple he had ever seen. “This is the place for me,” he cried. “I’ll think I’ll retire here.” He took a big bite out of the pineapple. But it was HOLLOW! “Perhaps the sun dried it out,” he thought sadly.
He wandered on till he came to the Great Barrier Reef. “Time for a swim,” he thought, and leapt into the sea. It was lovely and warm. Brightly coloured fish darted amongst the coral and tickled his toes. It wasn’t long before he was asleep, and drifting slowly south.
Sydney
TOOT! TOOT! Burra woke up in SydneyHarbour. A ferry chugged past. Burra gazed up into the wings of the Sydney Opera House. “What a beautiful home” he murmured. “I can see lots of caves in there.”
He shoved his head inside one of the caves. A group of startled musicians ran out carrying their instruments. “Surely our music isn’t that bad, ”they cried.
The Mayor of Sydney called a special council meeting. “I don’t care if it is a rare Australian beast,” he roared. It is ruining my city. It must be caught. The Council decided to dam the Harbour at the entrance and drain all the water away. Burra was trapped. There was no escape from the thick gooey mud at the bottom of the Harbour. He couldn’t even wriggle when the helicopters dropped a heavy net over him and carted him off to the Zoo.
Burra was locked in the elephant house. He hid at the back of his cage. Millions of noisy Tourists came to stare at him. It was much, much worse than Ayers Rock. Even at night, when the zoo was closed, it was no better. All the animals were jealous of Burra for being so popular. They called him names and threw things at him.
“I’ve had enough,”said Burra one night. “The food is mushy and I haven’t tasted a good rock for days. Besides, I’m sick of Tourists pointing at me.” He began to nibble at the bars. In no tome at all he was out of the cage and sneaking through the dark streets of Sydney. On the way he took a few bites of the SydneyHarbourBridge, but even that couldn’t tempt him to stay.
“I’m going home,” he decided.
Burra was exhausted. He had travelled all over Australia looking for a home and he still hadn’t found one.
The sun was just setting when he saw Ayers Rock in the distance. “My home;” he cried happily. It had never looked so good.