The Masochistic Character Structure
Adapted from the work of
Stephen Johnson
By
Michael Mervosh & Irene Tobler
PSEN Training Program
If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
-Jesus, Gospel of Thomas
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The Masochistic Character Structure – 2
This development issue does not take place until upright locomotion is secure and simple language skills are mastered – when the child’s need to determine his own self expression, and sustain that expression, and resist the will of the other. This, in combination with an increased need for socialization, increases the possibility of a conflict of wills.
Issue – Sustaining the will; motility
Wound – Hx of crushing defeat in battles where the child’s will has been persistently, intrusively, and even sadistically beaten into submission.
The Masochistic Character Structure – 3
The pattern of self defeat has become persistently defeating and abusive to others and extraordinarily resistant to attempts to change it. (one trick pony)
Creates a pervasive underlying rage & spite.
(getting angry or getting even)
The masochistic defense defeats the other by:
- learning to enjoy one’s defeat
- display it to the world
- defy any attempts to alter it
The Masochistic Character Structure – 4
Self sabotage, which is unconsciously driven, becomes the most deniable act of aggression. The pleasure in such self degradation is severely hidden.
Mask – compliance, service, forbearance; great willingness to tolerate frustration and self-sacrifice;
a distinct lack of pleasurable experiences.
The Masochistic Character Structure – 5
AFFECT
Chronic, effortful stalemating which breeds hopelessness, pessimism and despair. Coping style is
“bearing it and sharing it” with whoever is sympathetic.
Supportive others hold out hope, only to be defeated.
The only force strong enough to take a person out of this
type of morass is DESIRE.
SPITEFUL HATE AND RESENTMENT are the primary identifying affect characteristics.
The Masochistic Character Structure – 6
AFFECT
Secretly holds out hope, wishing for vindication or satisfaction in some distant future. (Catholicism)
The pleasure is in self inflicted punishment, and it is the only form of self integrity, resistance and rebellion left to do.
COGNITION
Singularly burdened attitude – “life is hard”
Tries to be “good”.
Pleasure is wrong, sinful, mistrusted.
The Masochistic Character Structure – 7
HEALING
Goal of process – to assist client in giving up a lifestyle characterized by depressive affect, self defeating Bv, pessimistic attitude and mistrust.
We must have respect and appreciation for the fact that this requires from the client a relinquishing of identity, lifestyle and basic orientation to self, others and the env.
Remember that all roads will inevitably lead to the place of SELF-DEFEAT. We cannot allow ourselves to be defeated by that realization, but welcome and reframe it.
The Masochistic Character Structure – 8
HEALING
The defense is very adept at getting others to collude it.
The COUNTER-TRANSFERENCE reactions are to:
- respond with sympathy & similar feelings
- respond with rejection immediately or eventually
out of frustration, perceive them as whining.
It is essentialthat the misery be the client’s problem! We are to notice it, but not catch it. It is about the client’s own ability to find and make choices, or witnessing the consequences of refusing to do so.
The Masochistic Character Structure – 9
HEALING
The healer must be neutral, curious, separate, reflective.
Any other posture will be defeated, and trigger more guilt and anxiety in the client about their defeat of you.
Offerings must be framed as INVITATIONS, OPPORTUNITIES, PERMISSION to accept or deny our offerings, with no attachment to their choices.
We respond to miserable client, vs. the misery in the client. We allow the client to make their own choices, and live with the consequences of them, no matter what.
The Masochistic Character Structure – 10
HEALING
Keep in mind that for the masochist, beginning to feel their rage OR their pleasure will trigger apprehension,
significant discomfort or an anxiety that is immobilizing.
Moving their own life force forward will elicit the fear of being beaten, humiliated or heartbroken. Their embedded pattern will be to take their actual life underground, and live it out in hidden ways.
Continue to give permission to have feelings, and not any requirement to express them. Gradually, in this spacious, patient, accepting atmosphere, the masochist’s grief will come forth.
The Masochistic Character Structure – 11
HEALING
In order to be able to guide the masochistic client through the depths of their confusion, and their immobilizing energetic morass, one must name and address their profound AMBIVALENCE in the face of any choice making or decision making process.
The client is to be encouraged to lean into one side of their dilemma more fully, and stay there, and have a new experience for themselves – before going to the other side of the dilemma. They must be able to go BACK and FORTH between these opposing positions, perhaps many times, before clarity begins to emerge from within.
The Masochistic Character Structure – 12
HEALING
Behavioral goals are usually ill-advised, especially initially, regardless of how emphatically the client may ask you for them! Any suggestion you make will be prone to defeat.
Wait until the client has some insight about the depth and pervasiveness of their own self-defeat pattern, and has demonstrated a willingness to work through it.
Recognize and reflect back how their help-rejecting pattern of complaining serves to structure their social interactions, and can be viewed by them as a form of intimacy.
The Masochistic Character Structure – 13
SUMMARY
When working with masochism, it is important to always be aware of:
1 – keeping one’s own need to succeed in check!!!
2 – keep one’s sense of self separate and distinct
from the client (& this will elicit transference)
3 – continually (energetically & often verbally) clarify
your response-ability from your client’s
Submission vs. Surrender
Submission:
Losing one’s self in the power of the other.
Merging is initially exciting, and ultimately agonizing.
Offers the security and futility of bondage, feeling ‘enslaved’ to the dominating ‘master’.
Promises, seduces, excites thendeprives, cheats, atrophies a sense of personal identity.
Enthralled with the LOVE/HATE of the other.
Accompanied by feelings of heaviness and resignation –
the endless morass.
Surrender:
Doesn’t require any “other”.
Is not a ‘voluntary’ act – one can only provide facilitative conditions for it to occur within.
Is completely ‘in the moment’.
Expands one’s sense of personal idenity.
There is an absence of domination and control.
Accompanied by acceptance – it transcends the conditions that evoke it.