THE LITTLE THINGS

By Jean DeVito

My Mom always had plenty of advice to share. One piece that I especially like is, “No matter what, always put lipstick on in the morning.”

With myharried life, a little thing, such as applying lipstick,gives me a moment to slow down and remember that I am a beautiful woman, with a life of my own. In this moment, I reflect upon a lipstick story of long ago, of a morning in my childhood kitchen, after a frightening night of my parents’ stormy fights.

“Okay, Ma,” said Mom into the phone that’s cradled between ear and neck. She drops a spoon on the counter, hangs the phone up on the wall, and turns to fill a coffeepot withChock full o’ nuts, the heavenly coffee. She barely looks at me. Coffee grains sloppily spill, flicking specks on the counter.

“Nanny told me to wash my face and to make sure and put lipstick on today,” said Mom, more to herself, than to me. She slows down, thinks of her own life. I imagine Nanny in her warm kitchen, standing at the sink that overlooks Grandpa’s zinnia bed, towel-drying a load of hand-washed dishes. The spoon clatters as Mom turns to put the coffeepot on the stove.

“Tell your sisters to get in here and have breakfast, Jeanne,” said Mom, placingKellogg’s cornflakeson the table. Tony the Tiger grins at me as Mom acts as though the night before never happened. For some reason, we are both comforted by Nanny’s words.

Comfort and safety was a priority for Mom as she raised four daughters on her ownwhen she became one of the 8,415 Connecticut divorcées in 1972.

Faithful allegiance and love brought me to the position of caregiver of my mother, who suffered with dementia. It is not an easy job, keeping an elderly parent comfortable and safe, amongst legal and financial responsibilities. The following lists the little things that a caregiver can do, keeping an elderly parent safe and healthy at home.

SAFE TODAY. HEALTHY TOMORROW!

  1. Install handrails on bathroom wall, near toilet, and in bathtub.
  2. Use a baby gate at bedroom door and a baby monitor.
  3. Chair lift in stairwell.
  4. Non-slip rug treads on stairs.
  5. Nightlights in bedroom and bathroom.
  6. Waterproof mattress pad.
  7. Medical alert system.
  8. Remove throw rugs. Tack down corners of area rugs.
  9. Non-slip pad for bathtub. Mark hot and cold faucets distinctly.
  10. Provide a walker or cane.
  11. Do not leave parent in house alone.
  12. Use an in-homecare agency.
  13. Distribute a list to family members with pertinent information regarding parent’s care. Include contacts for doctors,hospitals, a nursing home, social worker, in-home care agency,and prescription, health, and life insurances.
  14. Finding help when you need it is the biggest challenge of caregiving. Join the National Alliance For Caregiving at This connects to community services. Connecticut’s State Department on Aging is at