(0058) – Supportive 6
“The Christian You Are”
Preached by Rob Sinclair
Sunday Morning – 3/5/17
Introduction:
A. Oscars – Viola Davis – “Imposter Syndrome” (she didn’t think she was worthy to be on the stage with all the other actors who “had it together”) – It’s a concept describing high-achieving individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud.
B. As humans, we have to fight the pressing mentality of wanting to be someone else or simply comparing what we do and what we’re capable of to that of others…or even the feeling that we just don’t belong, even though evidence suggests otherwise.
C. God’s goal is for us to be the Christians that we are…ever growing…but being uniquely us and playing the game of life as OURSELVES and no one else.
D. Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the Christians that we are!
E. And there are a few things that can give us a skewed view of who we are…and they’re found on opposite ends of the spectrum.
F. On one end of the spectrum, you have narcissism.
Body:
I. Narcissism does not represent the person you are
A. Skewed view
1. Narcissism is the excessive and or obsessive interest in oneself. It’s marked by extreme selfishness with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration.
2. Kristin Dombek (2016): Psychology Today: The New Narcissism
a. “We all know the new selfishness when we see it. It’s in the laughter of the Atlanta girl who, on the reality show My Super Sweet 16, demanded that the city’s busiest avenue be shut down for her arrival. It’s in her answer to the party planner when he pointed out the traffic – “My sweet sixteen is more important than wherever they have to be” – and in her shrug when he mentioned the hospital across the street: “They can wait one second. Or they can just go around.”
b. This 16 year-old-girl quite literally had it in her head that the world revolved around her.
c. Her head and mind had been inflated to the point that she could not see past herself. She was the epitome of the person described by Paul in Romans 12:3 that “thinks more highly of himself than he ought to think.”
3. Muhammad Ali
a. “I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.”
b. “I’m young; I’m handsome; I’m fast. I can’t possibly be beat.”
c. “It’s hard to be humble when you’re as great as I am.”
d. “If you even dream of beating me you’d better wake up and apologize.”
e. Did you know that Muhammad Ali was indeed beaten? His final fighting record was 61-5, losing to the same man twice by way of rematch.
4. Proverbs 11:2 – “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”
5. Romans 12:16 – “…do not be haughty in mind…do not be wise in your own estimation.”
B. So if it’s not God’s will to inflate ourselves to this degree, what are we to do? Some take this thought to the opposite extreme…the other end of the spectrum…
II. Low Self-Esteem does not represent the person you are
A. Skewed view
1. What is self-esteem? – “Self –esteem is the disposition to experience oneself as competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and as worthy of happiness.”
2. In the Self-esteem book, Dr Joe Rubino says 85% of the world's population are affected by low self-esteem.
B. Psychology’s top 8 reasons for low self-esteem:
1. Uninvolved / Negligent parents à Negative peers à Trauma
2. Body Image à Small Fish, Big Pond à Unrealistic Goals
3. Previous Bad Choices à Negative Thought Patterns
C. And we can think of dozens of Bible characters who got tangled up in these affairs and mindsets that caused them to totally see themselves as worthless
1. Moses – Exodus 4 – What if they won’t believe me? I’m slow of speech…
2. Gideon – Judges 6 – My family is the least in Manasseh, and I am the youngest in my father’s house…
3. Numbers 13:33 – The 10 spies of Canaan… Grasshopper syndrome
4. 1 Samuel 16:7 – When Samuel went by instruction to find David to anoint him as king of Israel, he was looking at David’s brothers and how big and strong they were – “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
5. God intervened in all of these instances and reminded these people who they were and what they would be capable of through Him
a. God is the one who said: You may be slow of speech, but I made your mouth!
b. You may not be part of the strongest clan, but I’m the one who delivered you from Egypt and I will do it again!
c. You may be small by comparison, but I’m bigger than they are!
d. And I see your heart…
6. Don’t let these things get you down or dwell on them!
D. Listen to this passage from C.S. Lewis’s book, Mere Christianity: "Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call 'humble' nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all. A humble person does not need to undervalue or disparage himself. He is far too busy engaging in the world beyond his own self-drama.”
E. In that same interview of Viola Davis, she said at the end that she finally realizes that “self-deprecation is not the answer to humility.”
F. Let’s put this into practice for a minute…The friend experiment
1. If you go to one of your friends and ask them, “How would you like me to dress so that you will like me better?” “How do you want me to address you?” “How would you like me to speak so that you will like me more?”
2. Your friends might think you’ve gone temporarily crazy, because they’re going to say back, “Just be yourself! That’s why I like you!”
3. It profits us nothing to try to figure out what everyone else wants from us and then be THAT person.
4. That will give you and everyone around you a skewed view of who you actually are.
5. Think of the cell-phone companies that compete with one another:
a. “We’re better than Verizon”… “We’re faster than AT&T” … “We have more data than T-Mobile”…etc. etc.
b. They do all this market research and ask consumers… “How do you want us to look?” “In what ways should we speak to you?”
c. That mentality has hurt a lot more companies than it’s helped. If you watch the really successful companies, they’re the ones that stick to their guns and hold to what they actually believe, and they attract the people that also hold those same ideals.
G. God’s purpose for you is not found either in narcissism or a lack of self-esteem…instead, look to His teaching about who you are…this is the middle and balanced area of the spectrum.
III. God teaches us about who we really are
A. Perfect view
1. Psalm 139:14 – “I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.”
2. Genesis 1:26 – We are made in God’s Image! After His likeness and nature…He didn’t mess up by creating you. And it wasn’t until after man was created did He finally say… “It was very good.”
B. God created, and therefore knows, the true value in a person
1. 1 Corinthians 15:10 – “But by the grace of God I am what I am…”
2. Moneyball Illustration: SHOW CLIP (Moneyball (Breaking Biases))
a. 2002 – Oakland As General Manager Billy Beane
b. People are overlooked for a variety of biased reasons and perceived flaws…age…appearance…personality
c. “We’ll find value in players that nobody else can see.”
3. Just as mathematics cut through all of the biases that other baseball teams had regarding players, God cuts straight through all of the biases that we have about ourselves and that others may have about us.
4. The point is, you should always be striving to be the best Christian you can be, but don’t worry about being somebody you’re not. We need people that “throw weird” figuratively speaking.
5. Ultimately, God just wants us to be the Christians that WE ARE and to stay in the middle of the spectrum…not arrogantly snubbing our noses at others, but also not walking with our noses down thinking that we’re worthless.
6. God sees your value and all the potential you have packed inside of you…and you have God’s permission to unleash that!
Conclusion:
A. Once, the Hassidic rabbi Zusya came to his followers with tears in his eyes. They asked him: "Zusya, what's the matter? And he told them about his vision; "I learned the question that the angels will one day ask me about my life." The followers were puzzled. "Zusya, you are pious. You are scholarly and humble. You have helped so many of us. What question about your life could be so terrifying that you would be frightened to answer it?" Zusya replied; "I have learned that the angels will not ask me, 'Why weren't you a Moses, leading your people out of slavery?' and that the angels will not ask me, 'Why weren't you a Joshua, leading your people into the promised land?"' Zusya sighed; "They will say to me, 'Zusya, why weren't you Zusya?'"
B. Be the Christian that you are!
Invitation