TEENS Episode 1 - Housekeeping
Written By Alex Elder
[Script Edited By Lewis Rutherford And Joel Alder]
This is the 1st Episode of the T.V show TEENS. The original pilot episode of the 1st series
TEENS
Cast:-
Danny: 18, receives treatment for minor aspergus and in constant self-doubt. Longs to be with Samantha who he loves more than anything in the world. Writes out his feelings and a singer in the new band Lost Innocence. Always there for friends but can’t help but cry out for acceptance from those close to him, looking for direction.
Mark: 19, the oldest of the boys and seen in some ways as the God-like figure. Strong ego but easily broken when him and Danny fight. Has brotherly connection to all the boys but strangely a hidden stronger bond to Danny. The two of them argue but are connected by their high maintenance emotional status. The considered “girl magnet” of the group but is too fragile to hold onto sustained love. Guitarist in the band.
Eric: 18, the only member of the group in a “stable” relationship. Smart med student prodigy who wants to further himself. Dreams of a family and thinks logically about plans. Sometimes causing backfire for Danny and Mark to pick up on. Has a more subtle and rarely seen emotional status that is seen by the other three guys.
Lawrence: 18, the “designated driver” of the group and seen as the one to unite the group. Adored by the guys, and he has a close bond with Danny, that nobody can explain the source of. Voice of reason for the girl trouble and nicknamed “granddad Larry”. Has an addiction to cars and coffee. No emotional breakdown history so is most stable of the group and loves Danny’s burgers and brownies.
Others:-
Samantha – Infamous Ex of Danny
Angela – Danny’s agony aunt
Lisa- Girlfriend of Eric
Michael – Close friend of the guys
Series 1 Episode 1
House Keeping
(Episode starts with the opening shot of Danny in his bed. Camera pans to reveal an alarm clock saying 10 am. Scene changes to reveal different versions of the morning routines of the other boys. The other scenes shift and blend together to create an opening sequence.
1 - Int – Morning - The Boys Houses. (Look at storyboard to follow)
Danny Voiceover:
We all wake up at the start of a summer holiday thinking what we will actually do with it. Some Kids will want to meet up with mates. Older people will want to just relax at the fact that they finally get a break. But for me (falls out the bed). Well this summer was a little bit different. It was the end of my last year of college and I suppose you can see that as a victory, but it was the breaking of the safety net. I wasn’t a kid anymore and there was no more relying on adults. No more annoying and stupid teachers that thought they knew the answer to everything. No more lecturers who thought that just because you were a student, you instantly became a sodding super computer. I was a Teen. I had the greatest set of friends out there and today we were meeting to discuss the next step of our long lives. This was it. (Shift to Mark Then follows the Storyboard.)
(Song = Blink 182: I’m Feeling This)
2- Int – Day - Bar (as the boys come through the double doors of the Bar entrance.)
Mark
So that’s the plan. If you have any questions about it feel free to file your complaints to the nearest waste paper bin.
Lawrence
Mark we wouldn’t’t complain about being round yours for the summer. We didn’t’t complain about it last year or the year before. We may have done the year before that im not sure. Hmm what do you think Danny?
Danny
I don’t know Granddad. I don’t think we did.
Mark
(Sarcasm) Ouch those comments are like daggers to my heart.
Danny
Oh so you found it then? Was it under your pillow getting off with your dignity?
Mark
hey at least I can get up on time so I can actually have time to check.
(There is an awkward silence as the boys enter the main hall)
Lawrence
Hey Eric how’s the view back there.
Danny
I think we need to get him a leash.
(Eric ignores and walks into the door.)
Mark
let’s start with glasses.
Lawrence
let’s START with a brain cell.
Mark
hey Lawrence go be useful will you and get us some drinks. Here’s £10
Lawrence
You get any tighter and you could be marketed as a full on vagina.
Danny
unlike the bargain buckets he is used to then.
(Danny and Mark playing pool as Eric Sits texting Lisa. Lawrence comes back with some drinks and observes the Guys playing)
-Smash-
Danny
Yes… It’s in!!
Lawrence
That’s what she said
(Mark laughs)
Danny
(empty expression) you waited all this game for that?
Lawrence
Yep, and I’m OK with that.
Mark
Hey since you won, how about you try and get dumb nut over there to give her a rest and play?
(Danny gets the cue, and dangles it in front of Eric’s face)
Danny
Come on sweetie, she won’t die in the next five minutes, so put her down and play. How about it?
Eric
Sometimes I just feel like we are too apart. Honestly don’t know why I bother.
Danny
Remember what I said about thinking? (Holding out the cue)
Eric
Don’t? (Grabs cue)
Danny
That’s my boy. (Smiles and pats him on the head)I don’t see why you worry so much. I mean it’s not like she is going to be going anywhere anytime soon. May as well just enjoy yourself for now and hope for the best mate.
Lawrence
Honestly Danny, with you guys I sometimes can’t tell if he is dating Lisa or you.
Mark
Hey, if those two were going out at least we could see what a lesbian couple’s like.
(Danny hits Mark)
Danny
(Flicks hair jokingly) don’t listen to them babe (at Eric) we are the best. Besides I’m pretty sure with the history on his laptop it wouldn’t be the first one he has seen.
Lawrence
Low blows don’t hurt when there’s nothing there, eh Mark?
Mark
Speaking of blows… (Looks at Danny) Danny. You guys know that the six weeks at my house require you to help out right? No slacking.
Danny
OK, but I draw the line at a maid’s uniform.
-Smash-
Eric
OH YEAH!!
Danny
God damn it. I lost to the human love puppy. Right meet you guys at Marks Later. (throws down the cue on the table and exits)
(Camera fades as the guys pack up and depart)
3. - Int - Marks House - Evening
(Cast in scene - Mark, Lawrence, Danny, Eric )
(Danny knocks on door and Mark answers)
Mark
Welcome to the Chateau.
Eric
Welcome to the Shit-hoooole (mimics Chateau)
Danny
yeah I’d like to book a room and brace yourselves boys I brought the Hooooch. (Looks at Mark) don’t go getting tipsy on a sip now ok?
Mark
Yeah the Americans called and they want their phrases back. Ill have you know that the whole lightweight thing has died out now.
Danny
I think ill wait until I have proof of that claim Mark.
Lawrence
(glances over from having his eyes glued to the T.V screen. ) can you guys all kiss and cuddle later I could use a hand on the Xbox.
(They all retreat to the living room which looked like a practical gaming centre )
Danny
Jesus guys. There’s enough voltage in this room to light Africa, do we really need all the wires?
Mark
we need them unless Lawrence Technophobia over there ruins the console.
(Lawrence glances and gives evils. Sipping his cup of Coffee.)
Danny
Fine I’ll go upstairs and then when I come back down I’ve got a little present for you all.
Eric
nobody’s interested in seeing your cock Danny boy.
Mark
mmmm, Cock.
Lawrence
mmmm, Boys.
(Falls deadly silent and everyone stares at Lawrence.)
Eric
Oh Granddad when will you learn.
4. - Int - Marks bedroom - Evening
(Characters in scene. Mark and Danny)
(Danny unpacks his stuff and pulls out a frame of him and Samantha. He sits on the bed looking at it and just has a blank almost lifeless expression. Mark enters. )
Mark
she was never right for you mate you know that right?
(Danny wipes the tear from his eye and stands up dropping the frame to the floor)
Danny
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Mark
come on mate don’t act like it dosen’t get you down sometimes. (picks up the frame and hands it to him) I’ve seen how you get when we are down the Kursaal and how every gesture you make is somehow like a step closer into her arms, in your own little mind.
Danny
(takes the frame and places it on the side) It’s not inhuman to miss someone Mark. But damn it I can control myself. (Wipes the next small tear from his eye.) At the end of the day it was her choice to go off with that scumbag. Love hurts but you just have to get over that.
Mark
Look I know you Danny, probably better than ¾ of the idiots on this mud ball of a planet. I don’t like seeing you alone like this, the same as I was before with Erin.
Danny
Reflections are always a hard image to grasp aren’t they? Whether you end up punching the image out or letting it stay it always remains constant in your head.
Mark
That’s why we stick together mate. That’s why I’m not abandoning you like you never abandoned me. Anyways you need to help us with the shopping. You can finish unpacking and things later on but right now I need you and Lawrence to run to ALDI’s and gets this stuff. (Hands him a list)
Danny
ok I’m just going to have a minute to myself.
(Stands up and stares at the picture. The camera brings the image to life and we see Danny and Samantha sitting in the park. While this goes on soundtrack plays Duke Daniels - Following A Star. He looks out the window and sees a flashback of him and Samantha on the street below. She fades out and he walks off alone. Danny Exits with the song still playing and the scene cuts at the ending of the song. The Camera pans back to the frame and focuses a close up as the song ends.)
5 - Ext - Southend - The road to ALDI - Evening
(Characters in Scene Lawrence, Danny)
(Lawrence walks with a sort of closed in purpose and has the aura of a grumpy old man. Complaining about walking and how it makes him tired. Danny has an even more closed in approach and his height is masked by him looking downward. Has IPOD in to drown out Lawrence’s moaning picking up the odd word to remain in conversation. )
Lawrence
(Muffled and drowned out by Blink 182 - Girl At The Rock Show.) …it hurts.
Danny
(removes earphones. ) That’s what she said.
Lawrence
what? She says ouch my hip it hurts?. Danny what women have you been around lately. We told you to stay out of the homes didn’t we.
Danny
yeah … but … I …. Umm … anyways what did Mark want us to get again?
(Lawrence shows him the list)
Danny
okay here it is. Let’s get in, get out and not think about it.
Lawrence
Now that IS what she said.
(Blank Stare)
Lawrence
my talents are wasted on you.
Danny
because your talents are illegal. (winks)
Lawrence
do you think it was honestly wise to leave those guys alone.
Danny
oh come on man what’s the worst that could happen.
Lawrence
Alright calm down Dr.Pepper.
6 - Int - Marks Kitchen - Evening
Mark
You Know I blame Lawrence for getting me into this stuff. ( switches on CD Player and on comes Phil Collins I Cant Dance )
(Eric enters the kitchen)
Eric
Hey no touching the alcohol till the others get back man. You know what happens when you get a glass in you. (he tries to take the glass out of Mark’s hand)
Mark
(pushes him away) Relax one shot wont do anything to me okay. Now make yourself useful and go get me a bit of toilet roll would you I spilt some. (points towards a spill on the table)
( Eric walks out )
2 Minutes Later He Returns
(Mark is walking drunk holding the same shot glass empty. He starts doing the walk to the song. Eric looks confused.)
Eric
how is that even possible. Hmm I need to investigate. (drinks)
Cut scene - 3 minutes later. (they are both walking in a conga around the kitchen doing the walk)
7 - Int - Supermarket - Evening
(Characters in Scene. Danny, Lawrence , Check Out Girl )
(both enter the shop )
Lawrence
why do I get the urge to say. To the Tight-ass Mobile !!
Danny
because you finally found a shop you can afford something in ?
Lawrence
shush you. Oh by the way what was that present thing you said you had for us ?
Danny
I’ll show you all when we get home ok. Trust me it is going to be amazing and you will love me for this idea.
Lawrence
(picks up cabbages.) ok then.
Danny
Why are we even getting these vegetables ? I thought we were going to live off takeout like we do every year ?
Lawrence
No! Every year it is the same since we were little but now we are adults and we need to start acting like it okay. That means eating like it too.
Danny
You realise this is insulting right ?
Lawrence
So is your face Danny.
Danny
Now who is the child ?
Lawrence
The boy holding the Haribo in his left hand ? (the camera pans to Danny’s hand showing the Star mix)
Danny
Well now that’s just unfortunate timing.
Lawrence
Mhm.
8 - Int - Marks Kitchen - Evening
Mark
Lets drink Wodka Toniiiight !!! (babbles like a schoolchild with a tie around his head imitating Rambo)
Eric
This was such a great idea Mark. When they get back we are going to have the best. The best time… (Falls to the floor)
Mark
I think I may have just let some pee go… (waits). Nope false alarm.
9 - Int - Supermarket - Evening
( the guys get to the check-out and notice the girl has a lot of make-up on )
Lawrence
Danny I know what your thinking but please control yourself. ( Notices Danny on the phone pretending to talk) What are you doing?
Danny
calling Willy Wonka and telling him he has an Oompa Loompa missing.
Check-Out Girl
what you sayin?
Danny
I’m SAYING (emphasizes mistake )
Lawrence
Danny I’m begging you please…
Danny
How did you apply your foundation today? Did you dab it or just pull out a double barrel shotgun and go crazy?
Check Out Girl
You some kind of idiot ?
Danny
Sweetie I may be an idiot but at least I don’t look like I had sex with a watsit.
(Lawrence sees the look on the girls face become enraged. Drops the money on the counter)
Lawrence
Run … Now!!!
Danny: good idea.
(Check Out girl calls for security guard as the boys run out )
Danny
some people have no sense of humour.
Lawrence
yeah who would have thought being called an orange midget would be offensive.
Danny
exactly
Lawrence
honest to god Danny when will you actually use that pea in-between your eardrums.
Danny
My nose isn’t pea sized. Is it ?
Lawrence
Grrrrr. Never mind!!
8 - Ext/Int - Outside Mark’s/Inside - Evening
(Lawrence looks into the window as Danny fumbles with the keys. We see the house interior slightly trashed with loud music coming from within)
Lawrence
umm Danny boy?
Danny
( with keys in mouth ) Yeah ?
Lawrence
you may not believe this.
Danny: what’s wro… (opens the door) Jesus it smells like the inside of George Bests Liver in here. Lets check the Kitchen.
(Danny opens door to see Eric and Mark with their shirts off singing a drunken version of Men Without Hats -Safety Dance and imitating the dance. )
Danny
maybe I should have hid the booze ?
( Lawrence is open jawed and just looking at the scene )
Danny
Hey look its Rambo. (points at Mark)
Eric
(comes over to Lawrence ) your vewwy pweettty. (falls on his Arse)
Mark
I aint going to lie to you right.. Right.. I have had a splash of alcymahol.
Danny
a drop? You just made a tsunami look like a bloody paddling pool. Eric’s on his arse and ( puts his hand in the original stain on the table from when the boys were sober and sniffs) oh please don’t tell me that’s piss.