Winter 2010/11 | Edinburgh West Work Place Chaplaincy | 07980 162788
· The Art of Conversation
In The Spirit of the Child (1998) David Hay and Rebecca Nye assert that there is a ‘relational consciousness’ which sets us apart from other animals, which they give a rather “non-scientific” name: Spirituality.
But how come it’s so hard to hone this gift? I for one, am keenly aware of my shortcomings in this area!
While some like myself are hampered by a shyness, or social anxiety, others are overly quick to respond, to the point of preparing a response to someone’s conversation while they’re still talking, which affects their ability to listen.
Mark Davis of The Shoreline Consultancy is an expert on the art of conversation. He argues that conversation is a ‘freedom to speak to each other in an open and honest way, devoid of judgement and characterised by attentive, respectful, empathic listening’.
There are no set outcomes, or minutes prepared in advance, the whole person is involved (body, mind and spirit), the conversation takes place in safety, and it is possible change will occur. I wonder how your interactions today measure up to that rather high-brow description?
As a child it can sometimes seem as if no-one is listening, so we interrupt. But soon we have to learn that we wait our turn in conversations. We have to learn that we are relationally conscious.
A novel in which children are the main protagonists is William Golding’s Lord of the Flies, in which this skill is developed by use of handing round a conch shell; if you hold the shell you can speak and command respectful listening. This was a good start, and when they abandon this device the rest of their society quickly crumbles. Can you imagine the United Nations, or the Parliaments of Holyrood or Westminster using a conch?
Empathic or creative listening are key to the chaplain’s work, of course, but are of equal importance to any team leader, manager or HR officer. It offers a disarmingly simple solution to conflict and misunderstanding. By actively listening to one another, giving full attention to what is being said, rather than framing our own response, we honour the possibility that our ideas may change. And we communicate that readiness by our patient active listening.
Adapted from an article in Life and Work May 2010
· Some Useful Business Aids
Mentoring: Footdown http://www.footdown.com/ > informs, inspires and supports leaders and their teams, enabling them to maximise every opportunity, even a crisis. They work through mentoring in groups, insight through publications, and coaching. They have also led to various offshoots; Entrepreneurs with Conscience (launched by our own Midge Ure!) <http://www.entrepreneurswithconscience.com/>, which itself was deeply involved in the launch of the World Peace Festival <www.worldpeacefestival.org>. One of the key messages of that event was that businesses as much as individuals cannot afford to ignore the need for peace, and that making a positive personal change can filter through an organisation.
Business Resources: Businessballs < http://www.businessballs.com/ > is an amazing resource for small and medium sized firms. There are a myriad of hints and tips for business and sales, published resources, human resources, people management and development, writing and communication, team-building, helps for strategy and vision, personality-typing resources, motivation, leadership, personal development etc etc.
Stress Management: Health and Safety Executive < http://www.hse.gov.uk/stress/index.htm> The HSE will help you on everything to do with making sure you’re fulfilling the government regulations, but this site focuses on the resources which are for mental health and stress. They are provided for employers and employees alike, and you can order them in paper form or print off documents directly. Other websites that might be of use are: Breathing Space <www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk>, MIND <www.mind.org.uk>, Depression Alliance <www.depressionalliance.org> and a self-help site called Mood Juice www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk
· To Make You Smile!
People in the Professions are smart people: There was once an aspiring vet who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist. Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations so as the better to serve the needs of his patients and their owners - while doubling the size of his practice and therefore his income. He opened his office with a sign on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy - Either way, you get your dog back!"
· The story so far…
Edinburgh Airport is moving ahead with the moving of the Quiet Room to allow the opening up of International Arrivals, and I’ve been able to consult on the design of the new space, in conjunction with interfaith partners
National Services Scotland (the lovely hard-working people who are the “back-office” of the NHS, making sure it works on a day-to-day basis) have made more connections with the Chaplaincy.
We’re sorry to lose Mountain Warehouse from the Gyle Shopping Centre, but there are a number of new arrivals who we welcome to the family! The Christmas period is amazingly busy for everyone – so remember that the “reason for the season” and try to look after yourselves, folks.
There have also been comings and goings in Edinburgh Park and South Gyle Industrial Area – this is definitely not a time of business stability, and everyone is working doubly hard to keep their organisations going and growing.
Are you from a faith tradition or Humanist standpoint, and not feeling the Chaplaincy is scratching where you itch? How can we help? What resources or visiting would you like to see? Please use the contact details in the box.