The 5 Player Rule
By Kim McCullough
As a coach, it is always a privilege and a luxury to work with a team where every single player wants to be their best and is willing to do anything and everything in order to get to the next level.
But we all know that working with this type of team of 17 highly motivated and dedicated players is an exception and not the rule.
I constantly get emails from parents, players and coaches, who are frustrated by the fact that not every member of their team is equally focused and driven to get to the next level of performance.
The reality is - there is a 5 PLAYER RULE in girls' hockey.
On every team, there are usually 5 players who are really dedicated and driven to get to the next level.
It's not that the other players aren't trying their hardest or giving their best. It's just that they're not quite as focused on getting to the elite level.
It's neither good nor bad...but it is a reality.
Not every player wants to play college hockey.
Not every player wants to play in the Olympics.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
No member of the team becomes any less valuable to the group just because they have a different individual goal - as long as they are on board with doing what it takes to help the team excel.
It's a serious challenge for coaches who want to help these 5 players reach their dreams, but are hesitant about forcing the less motivated players into a level of commitment that they aren't ready for.
But it's an even bigger challenge for the player who is laser-focused on doing whatever it takes to get to the elite level.
It's frustrating to know that you are putting in all this extra time and energy away from the rink in order to be your best, and the rest of your team isn't.
I get it. I was that player.
I was the kid who would do anything and everything I could do to get an edge on the competition. And I spent my entire minor hockey, college and post-college career frustrated with my teammates who weren't willing to do the extra work.
Who's kidding who - it didn't just frustrate me - it actually pissed me off.
If you are one of those players who would run through a wall if it meant that it would help you get closer to your dreams...
... You need to understand this.
::: Your teammates may not have the same long-term goals as you. And that's fine. :::
Other players will say that they "want" to play at the highest level. But they don't "choose" to take the action needed to get there. You can't make them decide to be a great hockey player. Maybe they have decided to be an A+ student, a great basketball player or are simply playing for the love of the game. The truth is that all the time and energy you are spending focusing on them doesn't help YOU at all.
You have to realize that that some people aren't going to understand why you are so driven.
The truth is that some players are going to think that you think you are better than them because you are so focused and committed.
I didn't want them to think that I thought I was better than them. Because I didn't.
I didn't want them to think I was kissing up to the coach by trying so hard. Because I wasn't.
The last thing I wanted was for my teammates to think I was a "bitch". Sorry for being so harsh, but that's a reality in girls hockey.
So here's where the difficult decision comes in.
You can make the "easy" choice and let them take you off your game...
Or you can choose to stay focused on your goals no matter what and keep taking action towards your dreams.
Going after your goals doesn't make you a "bitch". It makes you - and your teammates - better.
If you're with a team that has 17 players who are ready to do anything and everything it takes to get to the next level, then this isn't a real problem.
But let's be honest - that's not the reality for most girls hockey teams.
There are the 5 or 6 players who really want it - and there are those that don't.
Not everyone makes the choice to be great. And you have to learn to be OK with that if you are going to be able to succeed as a team.
Keep Working Hard, Dreaming BIG and Taking Action.
Your friend and coach,
~ Kim