To Endure Suffering, We Must Embrace, Not Resist the Pain
“…Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen Him; and though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” I Peter 1:6
Are you frustrated and offended by the words of this unrealistic “poetry?” Forget the “all kinds of trials” and focus on just one; the most severe trial you currently (and likely have forever) experience. Does it feel like your faith is growing? Do you feel like offering up praise and glory and honor to the Lord for the gut-wrenching devastation in your soul? Are you excited and do you experience minute-by-minute, inexpressible joy while you simultaneously battle overwhelming stress, depression and discouragement from unresolved pain and anxiety that will seemingly never end? Are you kidding?!
Many of us hide layer upon layer of guilt and shame for personal defeat within our emotional and mental struggles; blaming ourselves for the alienation which others never see. Our battle with unresolved anger over the injustice of reaping what we never sowed, consumes us. How can we ever overcome the hidden rage and helplessness that lodges in our heart when someone mistreats, defrauds, or betrays us? How can God ever use our suffering with the resulting bitterness, as unrelenting and seemingly unprofitable as it is, for anything good, let alone to actually cultivate faith in our hearts? How long must we wait to feel “inexpressible joy”? As we watch others inhale life’s fresh air of hope and optimism, we suffocate as we inhale the dry sand of depression and discouragement while praying; “Come today, Jesus; I can’t do this much longer.”
We are absolutely helpless in our pain and have no choice but to focus on Christ as our model for suffering. You may think; “Of course He suffered well; he was God, for goodness sake!” While it is true that Jesus is God, he was also fully man and maintained the same breadth and depth of agonizing human emotion and had (has) the same capacity for suffering that resides in every one of us. He never denied nor minimized his suffering; but he honestly embraced it knowing His only relief (for those issues that could be relieved) was in bringing it to His Father in prayer, and also by connecting with his community for comfort and encouragement.
One aspect of human suffering is clearly seen in a laboring mother. Often overwhelmed and afraid, confused and exhausted, she rides the waves of birthing pangs hour after hour, while she labors with clenched fists, adrenaline surging through strained muscles until she feels she cannot take another minute of the most strenuous and horrifically painful experience she has ever encountered. Yet, the women who labors with deliberately unclenched, relaxed hands in a posture of surrender, ride the waves of captive pain and discomfort with more grace, more assurance, and more hope in the process and purpose for her suffering. Her agonizing labor is often shorter because she is more relaxed, feels more hope, and has less fear.
While we may be unable to personally limit the intensity or length of time we chronically and deeply suffer, we absolutely must cultivate and maintain an attitude and capacity to suffer well; with both grace and strength. Our access to God’s grace declares that He is with us in our labor of pain. He gives us hope of a very distinct purpose for suffering, a planned outcome to our suffering, and an eventual, inexpressible and glorious joy for our suffering. Sit still, close your eyes, open your fists and reflect on what most tortures you. Very slowly; very deliberately… Inhale grace; exhale pain; inhale grace, exhale shame; inhale hope, exhale despair. Face your palms toward Heaven and accept your sustenance from Him. Let him love you deeply as you embrace your deepest pain. May the Lord comfort and encourage you through the unconditional love of a safe community.
Blessings! Kurt and Patricia Byrnes