Collette Johnston
Subject: Adult Roles and Financial Literacy
Enduring Understanding:
6.1.2 Develop personal list of characteristics, qualities, and values desired in a marriage partner
Core standard: 20.0117
Essential Questions:
1. Why is it important to have an engagement period?
2. What qualities do you want in a future spouse?
3. What are important things to remember during engagement periods?
4. How will you prepare yourself to be married?
Assessments:
Warm up
Ice Cream Flavors- which filter does it go along with
Want Ad
PowerPoint on Engagement
Review vocab on mate selection
Learning Activities:
Ice cream flavors
Want Ad
Reasons people marry
Engagement PowerPoint
Induction
Warm up
Ice Cream Flavors
Birth Order
Qualities you want in a Mate
Want Ad
Engagement
White Board
Story about Jen
PowerPoint
Reasons People Marry
Boggle
Review Game on Mate Selection Theories
Wrap Up & Review
Lesson Plan Day 2 Marriage:
Time / EQ / Instruction/Activity / Materials5 / Warm up: Write down what remember about these theory’s we discussed last time
§ Theory of Propinquity
§ Exchange Theory
§ Complimentary Needs Theory
§ Time and Place Theory
§ Homogeneous Theory
§ Filter Theory / White board
5 / Proposals
Did anyone propose?
How many of you have decided who you will interview for your Marriage Interview Assignment?
5
5 / 2
4 / Ice Cream Flavors
Put up each type of ice cream flavor on the board and have each person choose which one is their favorite
After they choose pass out the ice cream sheet and they can see who they would be most compatible with
ASK- What theory does this go along with from last time?
*complimentary theory
Birth Order
Best
Oldest/only and youngest: This is especially true if theyoungest is a the male with older sisters. He'll bring out the maternal side of the woman, which a true eldest will adore.
Worst
Only and only: Used to being the center of attention, neither is eager, or necessarily willing, to give up the spotlight.
Youngest and youngest: Sure two youngests will have fun, but nobody will be in charge and the relationship may whirl into chaos.
Mixed Results
Middle and youngest: If the middle has an eldest traits then it could be an excellent match; however, if the middle has last-born traits then it could be as unproductive as two youngests.
Oldest and oldest: Friction is likely when these two controlling, yet people-pleasing personalities team up. If both are always competing, it will likely turn into a power struggle.
Oldest and middle: Middle children are oftenhypersensitive to injustice. So when the oldest tries to take control, the middle may perceive unfairness.
Does this fall into place for you or people you know? / Ice Cream comes taped up on board
2 / It is important to write down the qualities you want in a mate before you are seriously dating someone
Explain that there are many reasons to make a list of the type of person you want to marry
1. Be selective
Remember this decision will affect your life more than any other. If you were selecting a car, you would have a set of standards the car would have to meet before you would buy it. Know what you want in a mate.
2. Make a list before you develop a relationship
Once you love someone your objectivity is lost and you will settle for the traits your partner already possesses
3. Find the right person, do not try to change the person
If the person does not have the main traits on your list ask yourself if you can love them just as they are.
If there are some things you just can’t live without or live with find someone else- do not try to change the person.
The chances of change are not very likely and would be an unstable foundation on which to base a marriage
4. Become the kind of person you want to marry
You attract what you are, not what you want
Red Flags in mate selection
Tell story about Malcom
“The greatest single factor affecting what you are going to be tomorrow, your activity, your attitudes, your eventual destiny. Is the one decision you make…when you ask that individual to be your companion for life. That’s the most important decision of your entire life! It isn’t where you are going to school, or what lessons you are going to study, or what your major is, or how you are going to make your living. These, though important, are incidental and nothing compared with the important decision that you make when you ask someone to be your companion. “
-Spencer W. Kimball
2 / Trophy Wife
Men care so much about looks- Dr. & Nurse story
The book Charly- Sam won’t consider dating Charly because he feels that he is too good for her.
Through all cultures, time, age, women marry men for prestige and money, and men marry women for beauty
Men cant marry up in social class- but women can
Why? It would be difficult for a wealthy girl to marry a poor many after she lived a life of luxury, also it is socially unacceptable
Sometimes it works if the girl is rich and the guy is poor and he can be in the family business
Older, Tall, Educated Women and
Short, uneducated men are the least likely to get married
20 / 2 / Want Ad
This is for the future- what they are going to be, and what they want
Pass out sheet for them to cut out qualities and list in order
5
4
5 / 1
1
1
1
2 / Engagement Period
What do you think the purpose of being engaged is?
Write answers on the board
Family will treat your fiancé different
Called aunt/uncle
A time of clear thinking and serious discussion
Plan wedding
Decided if you really want the marriage to take place or not
ENGAGEMENT IS MATE SELECTION INSURANCE
Time to evaluate your relationship
You will be discussing all these things with your fake spouse in this class- you will want to keep the marriage packet for future reference to these questions.
Story about Jen Morris
My cousin’s wife Jen dated a boy all through high school and the boy went on an LDS mission and she waited for him and when he got home they got engaged.
She said she knew all along that she would never marry him but it was the next step in the relationship and everyone else expected it so they got engaged.
1 week before the wedding as they were finalizing plans she finally decided that she could not marry him. She told her parents and they were very understanding but it they had to call all the family and friends and tell them the wedding is off- all the invitations had been sent out.
She said it was hard but she knew it was right. She did not get married to my cousin till she was 28. She said it was scary getting that old and not being married yet but is so grateful that she called the wedding off.
It is never too late to call off a wedding until after it happens.
PowerPoint on Engagement
5 / Review Vocabulary on Mate selection – PowerPoint
Extra credit if get it right / Projector, PP
10 / 4 / We are going to play boggle with this question. With your table I will give you 90 seconds to write down every reason you can think of to answer the question.
We will go through group by group and you will read your answers. If another group wrote down the same thing then neither of you get the point for your answer.
The winning team will get candy.
What are reasons people get married?
Go around each group and have them read their list.
After the winning group is found put up this slide and see if they got all of them.
Why people marry – Mate Selection PowerPoint Slide #24
Trapped: Feel trapped by pregnancy, promises, or engagement
Escape: marry to get out of the house or escape from any other bad situation (the person usually escapes to a worse situation)
Obligation: feel you must marry because of sexual activity
Status Change: might be going off to college or graduating and decide it is time to marry
Set Variable: find the person that you believe is the right person and decide to marry
Pity: pity and love are two close emotions and some people cannot distinguish between the two
Love: a vital emotion in marriage
Pressure: getting older and fear not getting married
Companionship: the need for companionship is different for all people
Money: may feel financially stable or may be looking for someone to provide for you
Family: want to have a spouse and children
Common History: have dated so long that the next step is to get married
Marriage should never become just the next step in a relationship.
The characteristics and timing of marriage are important. / PowerPoint
10 / Fanny’s Dream / TV, VHS
5 / Wrap up & Review
1