Strategies for Fathers to Eliminate Family Violence
By Neil Tift
Examine your relationship with your father
Recognize, express and teach your children about your cultural messages regarding manhood, fatherhood, womanhood and positive masculinity
Instill a clear strong healthy moral compass
Establish and maintain family rules and clear rewards and consequences
Distinguish among discipline, punishment and abuse
Encourage family members to express emotions openly and honestly-teach them the words to use and how to express them
Explore your stereotypes about gender behaviors and role expectations that empower one another and those that limit or hurt one another.
Understand the impact of language, both good and bad
Monitor what your children are exposed to-in television, the Internet, videogames, music, movies, radio, etc
Know who your children’s friends are. Who are their heroes and sheroes?
Engender a positive sense of humor, not a critical or sarcastic one
Teach and model healthy competition
Teach empathy, cooperative behavior and healthy problem solving
Consciously choose and plan how to respond to stressful situations by examining your own coping skills and strategies
Define, expect and model respectful behavior and language
Explore your family of origin’s preferred approaches to problem-solving and conflict resolution
Maintain a healthy support network of friends, relatives, neighbors and co-workers
Set and maintain clear limits about applying corporal punishment
Make a clear distinction among discipline, punishment, and abuse
Help your children interpret their world through healthy lenses
Establish and maintain family rules and clear consequences
Promote yours and their spiritual growth
Search out and learn from those whose values you respect and want your children to honor
Find ways to keep your life in balance-alone time, spouse/partner time, one-on-one time with each child, hobby time, friends time, exercise time, etc.
Challenge inappropriate behavior, attitudes, and language among your friends, buddies, neighbors, co-workers, and others you associate with
Expose your children to wide range of people and experiences
Provide positive rites of passage and opportunities to explore their stages of life
Be open to seeking help when you need it