Subtitles
Associated Teachers TV programme
Staffroom Monologues: Always The Teacher Never The Bride
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(woman) "Staffroom Monologues".
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Brought to you in association with
the National Union of Teachers -
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the voice of the profession.
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"Always the Teacher, Never the
Bride" is written by Sarah Butler,
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a reception teacher
from Southend-on-Sea.
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A really lovely piece of writing,
funny and touching and clever,
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and I hope you enjoy it.
0008 10:00:55:10 10:00:58:05
I know it's the bride's prerogative
to be late,
0009 10:00:58:05 10:01:01:20
but I'm starting to panic a bit.
0010 10:01:03:02 10:01:06:09
My hair's really itching as well.
0011 10:01:06:09 10:01:08:17
That's a wedding present
I could do without.
0012 10:01:08:17 10:01:13:20
I bet I caught them off Chelsea.
She was really scratching yesterday.
0013 10:01:13:20 10:01:16:22
Oh, is everybody gonna know
when I walk up the aisle?
0014 10:01:16:22 10:01:19:11
I mean, nit treatment
is pretty whiffy.
0015 10:01:19:11 10:01:21:06
Oh, God.
0016 10:01:21:06 10:01:24:18
I wonder how many of the
other children have caught them.
0017 10:01:24:18 10:01:27:12
That's gonna look great
on the wedding video -
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all my bridesmaids and page boys
scratching at their heads
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all the way through the ceremony.
0020 10:01:34:23 10:01:36:10
You see,
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I decided to have all my reception
class as bridesmaids and page boys
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as there are only 20 of them.
0023 10:01:43:05 10:01:46:06
The head has even let me
hire the school hall
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for the wedding reception...
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at a slightly discounted rate.
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I've themed my whole wedding
to match our topic this term,
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which is nursery rhymes.
0028 10:01:58:10 10:02:00:24
We raided the dressing-up costumes
at school
0029 10:02:00:24 10:02:04:07
and I've got some Little Bo-Peeps,
0030 10:02:04:07 10:02:08:13
a Little Miss Muffet and
a Grand Old Duke of York.
0031 10:02:08:13 10:02:10:07
And all his men.
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I did draw the line
at Humpty Dumpty,
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even when Jake had a massive strop.
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(thinks) I must say,
Neil hasn't been too keen
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on the whole nursery-rhyme theme.
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"Can't we just do something that's
about us and not about school?"
0037 10:02:26:21 10:02:31:21
I think it's nice to have something
a bit different from everyone else.
0038 10:02:34:06 10:02:37:09
It was the head who gave me
the idea, really.
0039 10:02:37:09 10:02:40:06
I asked if she could extend
my report-writing deadline,
0040 10:02:40:06 10:02:42:21
what with being a bit busy
during the holidays.
0041 10:02:42:21 10:02:47:09
You know - getting married,
going on honeymoon.
0042 10:02:47:09 10:02:50:12
"It's work-life balance,
Samantha," she said,
0043 10:02:50:12 10:02:52:17
with the emphasis on "work".
0044 10:02:52:17 10:02:57:06
"If I extend deadlines for you,
I'll have to do it for everyone."
0045 10:02:57:06 10:03:00:20
"You should've waited until
the summer holidays to get married."
0046 10:03:00:20 10:03:04:16
And then she said, "You are videoing
the wedding, aren't you?"
0047 10:03:04:16 10:03:09:05
"We can use it to teach the children
about developing respect
0048 10:03:09:05 10:03:11:05
for our own culture and beliefs."
0049 10:03:11:05 10:03:15:19
"You know that's a really hard one
to tick off with our cohort."
0050 10:03:16:21 10:03:20:22
It was then that I got the idea
to tie in the wedding
0051 10:03:20:22 10:03:23:01
with our class topic.
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So the children have been busy
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helping me design
the wedding invitations.
0054 10:03:29:09 10:03:31:22
Although we had to discount
the one from Holly,
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with the big willy design.
0056 10:03:35:04 10:03:37:08
They've been constructing
with a purpose
0057 10:03:37:08 10:03:40:09
by making some beautiful
table decorations.
0058 10:03:40:09 10:03:45:12
Although they haven't made
a very good choice of fixatives.
0059 10:03:45:12 10:03:47:23
Still, it's a chance
to get something ticked off
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on the foundation stage profile.
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I'm gonna include little
question cards on the tables
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asking guests
how they think they're made
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and what materials were used.
0064 10:03:58:19 10:04:03:15
Interactive displays was one of
my professional-development targets.
0065 10:04:03:15 10:04:05:23
I hope the head notices.
0066 10:04:11:17 10:04:13:23
All the staff will be there.
0067 10:04:13:23 10:04:15:23
They decided
at the last staff meeting
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there wouldn't be the usual
end-of-term do.
0069 10:04:18:21 10:04:21:13
They'd all come
to the wedding instead.
0070 10:04:21:13 10:04:25:18
Sheila's really pleased. She usually
gets volunteered to host parties.
0071 10:04:25:18 10:04:30:13
She still can't get Janet's red wine
out of the carpet from Christmas.
0072 10:04:30:13 10:04:33:16
Our site manager is usually
the last to leave a party
0073 10:04:33:16 10:04:37:13
so he offered to lock up the hall
on his way home.
0074 10:04:39:20 10:04:43:22
The vicar's been smashing,
really got on board with it all.
0075 10:04:43:22 10:04:48:12
He agreed to let us project the aims
of the day on a screen behind him.
0076 10:04:48:12 10:04:51:02
I mean, I know the children
can't read.
0077 10:04:51:02 10:04:53:23
Except for Joel,
my gifted-and-talented.
0078 10:04:53:23 10:04:55:12
But, as the head says,
0079 10:04:55:12 10:05:00:04
it's important for them to see the
text, even if they can't read it.
0080 10:05:01:11 10:05:06:18
The vicar's agreed to change a
few words in the ceremony as well.
0081 10:05:06:18 10:05:10:16
I feel it lacks
any higher-order questioning,
0082 10:05:10:16 10:05:16:03
so the vicar will change "Does
anyone know of any just impediment?"
0083 10:05:16:03 10:05:18:15
Instead, he's gonna ask:
0084 10:05:18:15 10:05:22:20
"Why is it important
that there is no just impediment?"
0085 10:05:23:24 10:05:27:13
Neil said he might
say something there himself.
0086 10:05:32:01 10:05:36:10
Actually, I'm hoping none of
the children say anything.
0087 10:05:36:10 10:05:38:10
Especially Conor.
0088 10:05:38:10 10:05:41:04
He's been a bit clingy with me
the last couple of weeks,
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muttering on about
how I'm "his" Miss Brooks.
0090 10:05:44:12 10:05:49:19
Every time I mention the wedding,
he's taken to hiding under a table.
0091 10:05:49:19 10:05:54:09
We've been practising lots of good
listening over the last few weeks -
0092 10:05:54:09 10:05:58:22
not calling out, not fidgeting,
staying in their seats.
0093 10:05:58:22 10:06:01:18
I've prepared a special
tick list for Denise,
0094 10:06:01:18 10:06:04:15
my learning support assistant.
0095 10:06:04:15 10:06:07:05
She's gonna make a quick
assessment of the children
0096 10:06:07:05 10:06:11:06
who can listen
and respond appropriately,
0097 10:06:11:06 10:06:13:16
then slip it back in her handbag.
0098 10:06:13:16 10:06:15:22
I know Harry
may struggle to sit still,
0099 10:06:15:22 10:06:19:16
but we've made him
a special sparkly "sensible spot"
0100 10:06:19:16 10:06:21:18
to sit on during the ceremony.
0101 10:06:21:18 10:06:26:20
And he's in charge of
Barnaby Bear for the day.
0102 10:06:26:20 10:06:29:11
He asked me if he could
come along on the honeymoon too,
0103 10:06:29:11 10:06:36:05
but I said Neil would draw the line
at Barnaby AND Harry coming along.
0104 10:06:36:05 10:06:41:20
Of course, Barnaby is really looking
forward to having his photo taken
0105 10:06:41:20 10:06:45:13
on the Montano del Fuego
in Lanzarote.
0106 10:06:45:13 10:06:50:01
Oh, and the children can't wait to
see the photos of the volcano.
0107 10:06:50:01 10:06:52:09
So my poor old LSA
0108 10:06:52:09 10:06:56:13
is in charge of folding up all the
wedding gift wrapping paper neatly.
0109 10:06:56:13 10:07:00:13
She'll take it back to the classroom
and put it in the collage box
0110 10:07:00:13 10:07:05:06
ready for the big wedding display
we're gonna make after the holidays.
0111 10:07:05:06 10:07:08:19
There should be lots of lovely boxes
for junk modelling as well.
0112 10:07:08:19 10:07:12:06
Mum says she'll store them
in her utility room
0113 10:07:12:06 10:07:14:18
until we get back from honeymoon.
0114 10:07:16:23 10:07:20:05
Neil and I had quite a row
about the wedding last night.
0115 10:07:20:05 10:07:24:18
"You're marrying me, Sam,
not the school," he said.
0116 10:07:24:18 10:07:27:13
"You don't know what it's like
being a teacher," I said.
0117 10:07:27:13 10:07:29:13
"You never switch off."
0118 10:07:29:13 10:07:34:21
"That's ridiculous, Sam. It's a job,
not your whole life," he said.
0119 10:07:36:01 10:07:38:20
I thought he was just being silly.
0120 10:07:38:20 10:07:42:18
I mean, he's obviously
more important than my job.
0121 10:07:42:18 10:07:46:21
He's probably just got a case
of pre-wedding jitters.
0122 10:07:50:20 10:07:53:00
(thinks) I know he's the one for me.
0123 10:07:54:24 10:07:57:01
I'd do anything for him.
0124 10:07:59:08 10:08:02:03
Oh, he'll be there. (nervous laugh)
0125 10:08:02:03 10:08:05:21
He's got to be, otherwise I'll
have to redo all the follow-up work
0126 10:08:05:21 10:08:08:16
I've got planned for next term.
0127 10:08:28:01 10:08:30:06
The monologue isn't
based on my experience.
0128 10:08:30:06 10:08:32:05
I worked with teachers
who got married,
0129 10:08:32:05 10:08:34:01
and I got married
when I was a teacher.
0130 10:08:34:01 10:08:38:06
Children do get excited when you get
married and want to be part of it,
0131 10:08:38:06 10:08:41:13
and it sort of came from there
and I exaggerated it.
0132 10:08:41:13 10:08:44:21
She's looking... I'm not sure what
she's looking at, but it's nice.
0133 10:08:44:21 10:08:47:13
(Sarah) I had written before,
but not for a long time.
0134 10:08:47:13 10:08:50:08
It's important to have time
to yourself to be creative,
0135 10:08:50:08 10:08:52:08
but it is hard to find that time.
0136 10:08:52:08 10:08:55:22
You have to take time for yourself
to do that away from other things.
0137 10:08:55:22 10:08:59:01
Something like this is nice
because it gives you the validation
0138 10:08:59:01 10:09:03:00
that spending that time on yourself
is worthwhile.
0139 10:09:03:00 10:09:06:19
(woman) OK, can we set up
rehearsal now, please?
0140 10:09:08:12 10:09:10:22
I wasn't sure what to write
first of all.
0141 10:09:10:22 10:09:15:04
I had lots of different ideas, but I
thought of somebody that got married
0142 10:09:15:04 10:09:18:18
and it brought back all the ideas
of everybody getting married.
0143 10:09:18:18 10:09:22:00
After that, once that idea came,
it wrote itself, really.
0144 10:09:22:00 10:09:24:00
(woman) Action.
0145 10:09:25:07 10:09:28:10
(Sarah) Seeing Tamsin Greig
play the character is brilliant.
0146 10:09:28:10 10:09:30:11
She's brought
such a unique voice to it.
0147 10:09:30:11 10:09:33:11
When I knew she was going to play it
and I reread the script,
0148 10:09:33:11 10:09:37:06
I could just hear her saying it in
my head, and she's been fantastic.
0149 10:09:37:06 10:09:39:20
We talked and she said
her sister is a teacher,
0150 10:09:39:20 10:09:44:20
so she knows the workload, pressures
and what's expected of teachers.
0151 10:09:44:20 10:09:47:08
So I think she's probably
brought that to the part.
0152 10:09:47:08 10:09:49:07
- Your own train?
- I'd love my own train.
0153 10:09:49:07 10:09:51:07
It would stop right outside my door.
0154 10:09:51:07 10:09:55:14
Tamsin has brought out the comedy
because she has fantastic delivery.
0155 10:09:55:14 10:09:58:17
The way she said it, it's so
understated, but it's there.
0156 10:09:58:17 10:10:03:05
I think she's really heightened
what I was trying to get across.
0157 10:10:04:06 10:10:06:21
(man) 11, take 2.
0158 10:10:06:21 10:10:08:20
(woman) And... action.
0159 10:10:08:20 10:10:12:10
When I got married, the children
learnt the poem "Please Mrs Butler",
0160 10:10:12:10 10:10:16:01
because there's a poem for that, and
stood up in assembly and said it.
0161 10:10:16:01 10:10:20:08
They made a picture of me with a
veil on, which they paraded round.
0162 10:10:20:08 10:10:24:09
..and then over there, to pick up
some little bits and bobs.
0163 10:10:24:09 10:10:26:09
(woman) And then...
0164 10:10:30:12 10:10:32:24
I enjoy creative writing for myself.
0165 10:10:32:24 10:10:35:23
I think it gives me
something to do outside of work.
0166 10:10:35:23 10:10:39:11
But also it does help with teaching
literacy skills to the children,
0167 10:10:39:11 10:10:42:06
because you can teach them
how to formulate a story.
0168 10:10:42:06 10:10:45:08
You need a beginning, a middle
and an end, and you need a hook.
0169 10:10:45:08 10:10:47:17
So it has helped me teach them
0170 10:10:47:17 10:10:51:19
and maybe get more excited
about teaching writing again.
0171 10:10:55:05 10:10:57:18
I'm hoping none of the children
say anything.
0172 10:10:57:18 10:11:01:04
..muttering on about
how I'm "his" Miss Brooks.
0173 10:11:01:04 10:11:04:14
I think when it's aired we'll
show it in the staffroom, maybe,
0174 10:11:04:14 10:11:07:07
and get everybody together
and watch it together.
0175 10:11:07:07 10:11:10:00
Having a little premiere
would be quite nice.
0176 10:11:26:19 10:11:29:17
Visiontext Subtitles:
Chris Wallace
0177 10:11:29:17 10:11:31:17
www.visiontext.co.uk
0178 10:11:37:08 10:11:39:24
(woman) "Staffroom Monologues".
0179 10:11:39:24 10:11:43:12
Brought to you in association with
the National Union of Teachers -
0180 10:11:43:12 10:11:45:12
the voice of the profession.