:: L A T E C O M E R ::
#3.8 Recap by The Sci-Fi Bard
So,while watching this episode I sorta had an epiphany (a sudden comprehension of the meaning of something) and now I pretty much have this season alllllllll figured out ;-)
Season 1 set up each character for us, telling us what they were like and introducing their personalities/relationships etc
Season 2 took the characters wethen knew well and played with them a little.
Season 3 is all -and I do me ALL - about CHANGE.
Here's a quick list of just some of the most important 'changes':
Bette & Tina together = Bette & Tina pretty much falling apart
Helen was a rich bitch = Helena is pretty much nice and lovely and in love
Jenny was pretty freaky/arty/disturbed etc = Jenny is pretty much normal
Tina (YES I KNOW she's bi!) was into women = Tina's now back into men
Shane was atotal player/womanizer = Shane is now pretty much into monogamy
Dana was happy and healthy = Dana is dealing with cancer
Anyone who's listened to Hopes & Fears, the great debut album by the British band Keane will know the line from one of their songs that I'm gonna use to illustrate this episode:
"Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same...."
We shall see......
Fade up on:
Previously on The L Word......
Shane and Carmen get matching tattoos.
Cherie Jaffe kisses Shane
Dylan kisses Helena
MoiraMax says she's changing "from female to male"
Jenny shoots MoiraMax up with male hormones
Billie gets in trouble with Kit for doing drugs in The Planet
Dana continues to be vile to Lara until she finally leaves her.
Fade up on:
A woman plays piano in the neighboring house as we see Dana and Alice standing in Alice's front room.
LOS ANGELES, 7 and a half months ago
ah, so it's a Dana/Alice flashback we're getting this week. Fair enough.
The two women are clearly upset. Alice more so.
This must be them breaking up.
Alice tells Dana she doesn't know if she can live without her.
They hug and it's heartbreaking. Alice is barely holding back her distress and sadness.
Dana cups her face and tries to sooth away her tears, but she's still leaving.
After the hug the two women are physically still close and Alice leans in to kiss Dana.
As I listen to the woman singing in the background I think her voice is very like one of my fave singers, Shawn Colvin.
Actually though it's Tracy Bonham singing Whether You Fall.
Alice and Dana kiss and the white 'Chart' line appears on the screen, going to Alice, then on to Dana.
Suddenly Dana pulls away saying "I can't, I can't..."
The breakup is obviously tearing the two women apart inside.
Stroking Alice's cheek Dana says "I have to go...." and it's THEN that the white line from Alice to Dana actually fades away till it's gone!
That's weird!
Sure, we know they broke up, but let's face it, Coleman and Bette broke up too, so why didn't THEIR Chart Line fade out as well!
Maybe it's just to add to the drama of the breakup scene. I dunno.
"I have to go!" says Dana again and picks up her bag.
Even Dana's name then disappears off the screen!
WEIRD!
Alice is distraught as we hear her door open and close.
"Dana!" she whimpers and goes after her......
Fade up on:
OPENING TITLES
"chicks driving fast......
ingenues with long lashes...... "
blah blah blah
Fade up on:
Two people zooming up a hillside road ona motorbike.
Egads, it's Kit and MANgus!
YES, Kit has on the leathers and the shades and the helmet - the whole nine yards! lol!
They stop and Kit gets off breathing heavily.
Turns out she's having butterflies as it's today that the Betty (blech) girls and her friend Nona are coming out to produce her record.
MANgus tells her not to worry and that Betty and Nona love her etc
Kit gets herself together and gets back on the motorbike.
They take off once again.
Cut to:
Bette and Tina in bed.
Ok, who'll take a bet with me that this scene WON'T be all hearts and flowers and loving sentiments!?
What! NO ONE?!
Grrrr..... ;-)
Bette turns over in her sleep and her arm flops over Tina's waste so they're basically spooning.
Tina is awake.
Bette comes too, realises where her arm has fallen and apologizes.
"Sorry.....I didn't mean to touch you...."
GOOD GRIEF!
WHY are these two still together?!
"Sorry.....I didn't mean to touch you...." is NOT the kind of thing one loving partner says to another!
I so wish Jennifer Beal's pregnancy hadn't dictated the storyline so much this season.
These two can't share any intimacy without it being stilted or ruined. I wonder, had Jennifer NOT fallen pregnant, if the storyline this season for Bette/Tina would have remained the same. I sure hope not.
"I don't mind being touched by you" says Tina softly.
"Obviously you do" replies Bette.
Ouch!
"While I'm away I want you to move out" states Bette coldly.
Tina, upon hearing this, isn't happy.
"Where am I supposed to go?!" she says, questioning Bette's logic.
Bette suggests she move into the spare room as she doesn't want her in her bed anymore.
Tina says fine if that's what she wants, but Bette comes back, saying that it's NOT what SHE wants, it's TINA that has decided she likes guys again etc
"Y'know, I'M not the one who decided the last 8 years of her life were some meaningless little dalliance in the land of alternative lifestyles!"
snaps Bette.
Tina quickly states that isn't true and Bette knows that.
She also says she can't help feeling what she's feeling, which I guess is fair enough.
It's still pretty crummy for us viewers though, isn't it.
Bette goes over and picks up Angelica, cooing and baby talking at her.
Tina gets up immediately and takes the baby from Bette, talking to her, saying "c'mon, let's go nurse in MY room", and she promptly goes to the spare room, leaving Bette alone.
Y'know, I can't think of a more sucky relationship on the whole of TV at the moment than this one.
It's painful to watch.
It's painful to hear.
*sigh*
Cut to:
Carmen and Shane spooning asleep in bed.
Carmen is having a nightmare and starts flailing her arms about, clonking Shane in the face.
Shane calls to her, waking her up, telling her she's having a nightmare and that she's hitting and kicking her etc.
Carmen had no idea she was doing that and so apologizes.
Then she tells Shane about her dream.
Like most dreams, much of it makes little sense, so I wont repeat it all here.
BUT, the one thing I will tell you is that Carmen remembers that in her dream, Shane gave Cherie Jaffe a tattoo like Shane and Carmen got last week on the show.
Carmen asks Shane WHY she would do that (er, it was in a DREAM luv, I don't think Shane has much control over what YOU dream she does at night! lol!) and Shane, still groggy from sleep, says she didn't do anything.
Carmen is VERY upset though, even though Shane repeatedly states she didn't give Cherie a tattoo etc - so much so that she eventually gets out of bed and storms off telling Shane "that's really fucked up!".
OOOOOOOk...... ya gotta love that fiery Latino temperament.
Or, perhaps not, in this case. Poor Shane! lol!
She's left lying there looking bewildered.
Cut to:
Alice blitzing something in a blender.
Dana calls to her from the next room and Alice says she's just coming.
Then we see Dana is sitting on her bed and her hair is coming out in chunks (from the Chemo) which really freaks her out, so she shouts louder for Alice.
In the kitchen, Alice finishes off Dana's health drink and comes into the bedroom.
Dana shows her that her hairs falling out in chunks and says it's a shame Lara isn't around to see it.
*rolls eyes*
Then she says she might save her hair and sell it on ebay.
Alice tells her not to be so morbid and gives her the shake to drink.
Dana says she feels sick, so wont drink the shake but Alice insists, saying it's good for her.
Alice goes and gets a bag and Dana asks what's in it.
Turns out Alice went shopping for a bunch of wigs for Dana as she knew her hair would start to fall out soon.
The first one which is short and flicky, Alice names "Shaggy Chic"
The second is long and blonde, "Blondes Have More Fuuuuuuuun!"
The third is long and red, "ROCKIN' REDHEAD!"
Dana says she can't wear a wig cause she'd look stupid in it.
Alice says she wont.
Dana tries on the long red one, and ends up looking like a bad Xena-impersonator at a convention! lol!
As she's trying on the short, flicky one the phone rings.
Turns out it's her mother, but Dana wont answer it.
Dana says her mother is doing her head in, "she keeps calling me, saying 'I read about an amputee who won a tournament!' "
Dana says her mother is driving her nuts.
Alice says she's just trying to help Dana be positive etc and that she shouldn't shut her out.
Dana asks Alice what WOULD make her feel better and desperately states she's "disappearing".
She looks in the mirror again and feels her eyebrows. A chunk of which comes away in her hand.
Cut to:
MoiraMax and Jenny sitting in their living room.
The fact that they are BOTH using Apple laptops is something that bugs the hell outta me, cause let's face it, HOW could MoiraMax afford a laptop, let alone an Apple one?
Oh and don't tell me Jenny bought it for her, cause MoiraMax just wouldn't have let her do that, would s/he?!
Anyhoo.....
MoiraMax wants to read Jenny something she's just written.
It's a statement informing her friends that she'll now be going by the name of "Max" and that people should only use the male pronoun when referring to her.
*yawn*
I can't say I'm particularly riveted by the MoiraMax storyline so far.
But then again I guess the character of Moira IS a poster child for this season, what with it being all to do with CHANGE.
Cut to:
OH LOOK! It's BETTY AGAIN! *triple yawn*
Kit turns up to the recording studio and Betty are there tuning their instruments etc.
Kit comes in and greets Nona warmly.
Btw, Nona is Nona Hendryx - vocalist, record producer, renowned songwriter, musician, author, and actress.
You may think you don't know her at all, but if you've ever heard Labelle singing Lady Marmalade, then you've heard Nona singing without even realizing it, as she, Patti LaBelle, Sarah Dash and Cindy Birdsong made up Labelle.
Kit is so funny with Nona, going all 'down-home' etc.
THEN Betty come in and she greets them too.
Kit introduces everyone to MANgus, calling him her "boo". Awww sweet! lol!
Cut to:
Bette leaving for the Buddhist retreat.
The taxi is waiting as Bette comes out of the house with her bags.
Tina is standing there too, with Angelica.
Bette gives Angelica her dummy and does some cute baby talk to her daughter.
Mentioning it's a silent retreat, Bette tells Tina that she'll probably hike down to the lake and call her on her cell phone.
Bette also says she EXPECTS Tina to put Angelica on the phone to her and asks where Tina will be then.
Wow, are these two frosty with each other or what!
Tina says she was going to visit Kit at the recording studio.
Upon hearing that, Bette looks shocked and says "are you kidding me?!"
Tina asks what the problem is.
"The problem is you no longer have the privileges of being my life partner..." says Bette.
Blimey, JUMP IN there Bette and cut Tina out of your life why dontcha! Sheesh!
Tina, quite understandably says "WHOAH! WHAT?!"
Bette berates her, telling her not to "get all galled and affronted"
She reminds Tina that TINA is the one who's breaking up their family and when Tina goes to protest that she's not, Bette simply states the obvious:
"You don't love me.....you're changing who you are and you're breaking up this family - it's about time we got real about it!"
And it's at THAT moment that The Bitch On Wheels adoption lady comes rolling up to greet them!
Oh frick.
We needed HER in the equation just about as much as I need a hole in the head!
Tina and Bette immediately put their 'happy and everything is normal' faces on.
"Hello Roberta!" Tina says sunnily.
Turns out she was in the neighborhood - gay dads two streets over are adopting a crack baby.
Bette asks Roberta, pointedly, if she's approving those gay dads application.
Roberta, pointedly straight back, says that THOSE dads are a great family - they've been together for 19 years and the crack baby will be their third child.
The two womenin front of Roberta AREN'T exactly a fabulous advert for gay adoption right now.
She asks Bette and Tina how they're doing and the two women give an all-too-hasty "Wonderful!/Fine!" back, complete with pre-requisite fake smiles.
Roberta (as she's not a complete nincompoop) asks the two if they're are any big changes on the horizon or if there's anything they want to tell her.
The two do admit to her that they are working through some stuff, but that all couples go through changes etc.
Bitch On Wheels asks them if they are still intending to go through with the adoption and both women DO answer honestly and as one to that, with an affirmative.
Then Bette has to leave. She kisses Angelica goodbye (so sweetly!) and gets in the taxi, with Tina telling her daughter to say "bye mama! bye mama!"
As SOON as Bette's taxi drives off, Bitch On Wheels asks Tina:
"Are you SURE you wanna go through with this adoption?"
Tina, to her credit, says of course and why would Roberta ask that.
Roberta, who may be a bitch on wheels, but isn't utterly blind and deaf, answers that it's obvious Bette and Tina aren't "happy campers" anymore, and what if Tina gets involved with someone else?
Tina doesn't think that's relevant, but Roberta argues that it's completely the opposite.
Tina lays into Roberta then(yay!), stating that she wouldn't even be asking these questions if Tina and Bette were a hetro couple.
Roberta STILL tries Tina to get to think about what she/they are doing, but Tina walks off inside.
Cut to:
Helena waiting outside a coffee shop for Dylan, who then appears carrying their coffees.
Helena's on the phone to Alice talking about meeting up at the recording studio.
Helena must be wearing a hands free earpiece though - she hasn't got her phone up to her ear - and as a result it looks really silly cause she's just standing there talking to thin air! lol!
Dylan says she's so excited as they're gonna meet Nona Hendryx at the recording studio. Seemingly she's a HUGE fan of hers.
Helena says she has to make another quick call - she wants to check she has indeed got the private jet for when they go see this basketball match.
Dana's a huge fan of the San Hose Lightnings. (Would've been nice if we'd learnt that earlier though. Say a casual comment in a previous episode? Or am I just being picky.....)
Helena’s planning to fly Dana and a bunch of her friends out to see them play as a treat.
See?! All you Helena doubters who think she's still an uber bitch like last season are WRONG!
ALL it took was the love of a good woman (who has a boyfriend....) and she's totally changed for the better! ;-)
Dylan thinks it's amazing that Helena's flying all her friends out to this game on her mother's jet.
(wish my mother had a jet.....)
Dylan also thinks Helena is amazing.
Ohhhh, it's like crushing onsomeone in junior school! *dreamy look*
Cut back to:
the recording studio.
Betty are backing singers for Kit and Nona. (Oh jolly good, even MORE Betty....)
The song sounds pretty cool actually, all about transformations and deviations etc
Suddenly MANgus butts in from behind the mixing desk, giving his opinions on what would sound better for Kit etc
However, MANgus's suggestions dont go down well with either Betty, Nona or even Kit.