Goorjian 1
Shant Goorjian
Professor Payte
English 115
9 December 2013
Natural Self-Centeredness
Every individual believes he or she is the center of the universe, but that could not be farther from the truth. Joss Whedon and George Saunders, two influential orators, have given commencement speeches to college-graduating students where they discuss selflessness. Most people believe that being egotistical is wrong, but everybody seems to give off a sense of egotism anyway. They may not be doing it on purpose, for thinking selfishly is a natural human instinct. Even though people are against narcissism, no one ever stops to think of the benefits of being more giving.Self-centeredness is a natural human emotion, but very few seem to realize that being altruistic could open one’s life to many great experiences whereas the long-term effects of being selfish are detrimental.
Most individuals live a selfish existence so normally that they do not realize how much it harms their lives. For example, when someone is cut off in traffic, the victim finds the need to get riled up and upset because one is so centered on oneself that he or she feels offended that somebody would get in “HIS or HER” way. This way of thinking is common yet harmful, for the person thinking this way is causing unnecessary stress to themself. Everybody believes that they are the only one with the most important destination, when in reality everyone else is on the road for a good reason and not just to be an obstacle. When a person begins to think this way, one is merely going to end up stressed, which can cause unnecessary trauma to the brain and heart. Self-centeredness is a natural human emotion. From the day we are born, we are instinctively focus mainly after ourselves. As time passes, this focus grows into a selfish personality where everything revolves around that person and everybody else is merely in the way. We as a society rarely take others’ feelings into account because of this natural egotism, yet expect everyone else to pay attention to us for the same reason.
There are a great amount of self-centered individuals in my generation that believe the entire world revolves around them causing much unnecessary drama and difficulty to themselves and everyone around them. In my high school experience, I came across a plethora of individuals who acted as if God gifted us with his or her presence. This caliber of egocentricity is terrible in many ways. For example, I noticed that egotistical classmates all hung out with one another. I carefully observed their behavior and realized that none of them were true friends, for they merely stood there with their mouths shut and only posing for the rest of the students to see them as these amazing beings. This kind of self-centeredness caused these individuals to look relatively depressed, and no matter how funny a situation occurred in front of them, none of them would even crack a smile. This vanity causes not only harm to them, but to others around them, for they were cruel to others who were kind and selfless. These vain kids may never realize how much harm they are doing to their own psyche. In the attempt to be self-proclaimed narcissists, these people are cutting themselves off from the true joys in life, such as having laughter and real friends. Additionally, I have witnessed a scenario where a classmate of mine attempted speaking to another peer who thought very highly of herself. She ignored him and walked right passed him when he told her to have a good morning. This is a perfect example of self-centeredness, for she was so engulfed with herself, she did not take a moment to appreciate the positive gesture and realize that by ignoring it she had just hurt the feelings of another person. Furthermore, my generation is so narcissistic that each individual is under the impression that their beliefs are the only correct ones. This results in, as Whedon says, “a world where debate has kind of fallen away and given way to shouting and bullying”(Whedon). Most people lack the ability to put themselves in another’s shoes. The fact that everybody believes in only what they think is correct, they end up denying everybody else’s ideas, which causes arguments and tension. This lack of perspective and open-mindedness causes even more closed mindedness, for if one was able to see the world in a different perspective, one would feel much more understanding and less selfish. Most people never grasp the idea that being more selfless has myriad benefits.
Altruism, unlike self-centeredness, is not detrimental at all and instead makes one’s life much easier and pleasurable all around. If a person tells someone to have a good morning, a simple acknowledgement could brighten both of these people’s lives a little more. I know this from personal experience, for when I am even having a bad day, if somebody acknowledges me with a simple remark, I end up feeling much better about myself and my day in turn becomes much clearer. Being kind and understanding to another individual is the best way to improve one’s own day. As Whedon says in his commencement address to graduates, we are all connected. If a person makes someone feel good through a selfless gesture, then he or she will in turn feel good as well, “so be a good and proactive and even somewhat desperate patient on your own behalf – seek out the most efficacious anti-selfishness medicines, energetically, for the rest of your life”(Saunders).
This quote by Saunders conveys the point that one can combat selfishness with selflessness, for it is the best medicine when it comes to such a natural sickness. Being selfless is one of the best things in life, for it is free and brings nothing but positivity. Moreover, life is a game of giving and getting, but most people only play the getting part of it. Life is like a farm; whatever you put into it is what you are going to get back. If one plants nightshade, a deadly plant, in a farm, then that is what will thrive and grow. However, if one plants something much more beneficial, like fruits and vegetables, then that will grow abundantly. In short, if one gives positivity and selflessness to life, life will give them positive events and rewards in return.
Self-centeredness may be a natural emotion, but it can be replaced with selflessness if one is willing to put in the effort. It may take time and discipline at first, but the rewards that one will reap from giving off this positive energy is boundless.
Work Cited
Whedon, Joss. “Whedon ’87 Delivers 181st Commencement Address.” The Wesleyan
Connection. Wesleyan.edu, 26 May 2013. Web. 9 September 2013.
Saunders, George. “George Saunder’s Advice to Graduates.” New York Times.
NYTimes.com, 21 July 2013. Web. 9 September 2013.