Session 7 Step 3 Chapter 5

SESSION 7 STEP 3 CHAPTER 5

HOW IT WORKS pp 58 - 64

Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

“The keystone of the new and triumphant arch.” (62: 3)“A beginning” (63: 3)

Step 3 written inventory

Take Step 3

I. ON OUR OWN:STUDY – “What do the Big Book authors say?”

WE PRACTICE TWICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER

WE READ We read Chapter 5, "How it Works," pp. 58- 64: 0.Many will read Step 3 in the 12&12.
-The authors of the Big Book call Step 3 the “keystone” (62: 3) to the “wonderfully effective spiritual structure” (47: 2) of a spiritual awakening that is being built by the discipline of the practice of the 12 Steps.
-By working the willing honesty of Step 1 (“foundation” 12: 4) and the hope of Step 2 (“cornerstone” 47: 2) we arrive at the keystone decision of the entire program: surrender.
-We carry out the decision of Step 3 by working the remaining Steps 4 – 12. “We let go absolutely.” (58: 3)

WE WRITE We write on three or more of the focus questions or others.

WE TALK We call our sponsor and other members of the group.

II.WITH THE GROUP:PRACTICE -- “What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 3?”

We may read Chapter 5, "How it Works," pp. 58-64. We share our written reflections.

A. “HOW IT WORKS” The initial 8 paragraphs of Step 3, Chapter 5 as read in AA meetings around the world. (58 – 60: 2)

-STEP 1 (Clauses 1-4) STEP 2 (Clause 5) Toward STEP 3 (Last 2 clauses)
-Do I question whether or not I am capable of being “honest” with myself? (58: 1)
-What do “honesty” (58: 1), fearlessness (58: 3), thoroughness (58: 1,3) and a willingness “to go to any length” (58: 2) mean to me? -At what have I balked? (58: 3)
“Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.” (59: 1)
-How may I abandon my old thought-habits and behaviors that do not work?

-In what way am I (or am I not) willing to “completely” give myself “to this simple program” of practicing the 12 Steps? (58: 1)
-“Being convinced, we were at Step Three…” “Convinced” of what? (60: 3)

B. “WHAT DO WE DO?”(60 - 63)The next 8 paragraphs of Step 3,Chapter 5.

1. THE PROBLEM OF ‘SELF’: ‘Me!’ STEP 1 (60: 4 – 62: 2)

“Our actor is self-centered … Are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity? (61: 2)
-How am I like an actor? What roles, what characters do I play? (60: 4)
-Am I “almost always in collision with something or some body”? (60: 4)
-How do I define ‘self” as in self-sufficiency (52: 4), “self-will” (60: 5), “self-propulsion” (60: 5), “selfish” (61: 0), “self-pitying” (61: 1), “self-seeker” (61: 1), “self-centered” (61: 2), “egocentric” (61: 2)?

-Where do I think that life does not treat me right? (61: 1)
-Where do my actions make the other players wish to retaliate and snatch all they can get out of the show? (61: 1)
-In my own life, am I familiar with the progression: anger => indignation => self-pity? (61: 1) Be specific.
-In what ways does the following describe me? “Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well?” (61: 1) [Is this the essence of Step 1?] -What do “delusion” (30: 2; 61: 1), “denial.” (10: 1), and ‘manage’ mean to me?

“Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.” (62: 1)
-Where in the past have I made decisions based on self that later placed me in a position to be hurt? (62: 1) Be specific and give details.
“So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.” (62: 2) -Do I think my troubles are of my own making? What does this mean?

2. THE SOLUTION OF THE GOD IDEA: ‘Not Me!’ STEP 2 (62: 2-3)

-“We alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness.” (62: 2) -“We had to have God [of our understanding]’s help.” (62: 2)
-In what specific ways have I been playing God? (62: 3)
-How has playing God worked or not worked?
-“[The Power of our understanding] is the principal, we are His agents.” (62: 3) [See also 49: 1; 68: 3] What does this mean to me?

3. DECISION TO TURN OVER: ‘Let It!’ STEP 3 (62: 3-63: 1)

THE THIRD STEP PROMISES

-Is it possible that I could enjoy peace of mind, face life successfully, and lose my fear? (63: 1) How?

C. THE “PROGRAM OF ACTION” (9: 6)- STEP 3 AND BEYOND (63: 2 – 64: 0) The final three paragraphs of Step 3, Chapter 5. -“This was only a beginning.” (63: 3) -What does it mean to abandon myself to my Higher Power? (63: 2)

-How do I define “abandon,” “to the care of,” and "decision?" (59: 1, 2; 63: 2)
-Can I make a decision to turn my life and will over to a Higher Power, just for today?
-Am I taking action on Step 3 when I abstain from alcohol and work the remaining Steps?

D. DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 3 PRINCIPLES:

-How may I act on the principle of surrender to the care of a Power greater than any one of us, even when things are going well?
-How does Step 3 allow me to build on the surrender I have developed in Step 1 and Step 2?
-Am I fighting anything in recovery? What do I think would happen if I became willing to let recovery prevail in that area of my life?
-What evidence do I have that I can trust confidently in my recovery?
-How may I reaffirm my decision on a daily basis and continue to take the action of working the rest of the Steps?

……………………………………………………………………………

III. TAKE STEP 3 We take Step 3 in the second paragraph on page 63.

“We were now at Step Three. …’I offer myself…Relieve me of the bondage of self, so that I may better do thy will….’” (63:2)

-Have “we decided” that we are the “agents” of the Higher Power of our understanding? (62: 3) [See also 49: 1; 68: 3]

According to the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, and under the conditions of this day we have taken Step 3.

STEP 3 ACTION QUESTIONSBorrowed from recovery literature.

We may ask ourselves the following optional Third Step Questions each day. How am I doing with turning my life and will over to my Higher Power today?

TODAY, ARE MY ACTIONS…

1. …UNSELFISH?

ie: Other centered?(or Self-centered, selfish?)

Do I ever wonder whether my spouse or others are happy or sad, sick or well, or am I still preoccupied with myself? Do I allow myself to be concerned about the needs and welfare of someone else or do I instinctively put my own needs first?

ie: Patient?(or Impatient?)

Am I patient today or am I still childishly hanging on the ‘I want what I want when I want it’ approach to life?

2. …HONEST?

ie: Genuine?(or People-pleasing, Dishonest?)

Am I taking the risk of expressing and presenting myself honestly or am I still trying to be a people pleaser in order to gain approval from others – even at the expense of my own dignity and self-respect?

ie: Realistic?(or Expectations?)

Am I looking at myself and my life situation realistically and in true perspective, or am I still expecting more of myself and life than I have a right to, thus risking irritation and discontent and a return to drinking?

ie: Anonymity = unselfish? (or Anonymity = hiding?)

Anonymity: Am I using the program selfishly or dishonestly? Am I using anonymity as something to hide behind, or do I see my anonymity as an opportunity to unselfishly help others without expectations for personal recognition or reward?

3. …FROM PURE MOTIVES?

ie:Take responsibility?(or Blame others, Self-seeking?)

Am I beginning to accept the responsibility for my own behavior and am I promptly admitting when I am wrong or am I continuing to alibi, justify, or blame others for my mistakes?

ie: Act on current problems?(or Procrastinate?)

Am I dealing with current problems today or do I find myself still tending to manipulate or procrastinate without considering how my lack of action can affect others?

4. …LOVING?

ie: Tolerant?(or Fearful and Judgmental?)

Am I being tolerant of the shortcomings and mistakes of others or am I being judgmental and spending more time taking the inventory of others rather than my own?

ie: Let go resentments?(or Fear, Self-pity, Poor me?)

Have I let go of my old resentments or am I still nursing them along, allowing them to feed on self pity, and hence building up to a drink again?

STEP 3 WRITTEN INVENTORY

Consider these questions which are borrowed from meetings and recovery literature. Add your own! Copy and expand this template in your own notebook.

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

DECISION

Can I make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of a Higher Power of my understanding – just for today?

What fears or reservations do I have about turning my life over?

What actions have I taken to follow through on my decision to turn my life over to a Higher Power?

SELF-WILL

To work Step 3 we need to identify the ways we have acted on self-will.

-In what ways are my troubles of my own making? (62: 2)

-In what ways am I an extreme example of "self-will run riot"? (62: 2) How have I acted on self-will?

How has my self-will affected others?

STEP 3 WRITTEN INVENTORY

Have there been times in my recovery when I have found myself subtly taking back my will and my life? What alerted me? What have I done to recommit myself to the Third Step?

THE GOD OF OUR UNDERSTANDING

-How is my Higher Power working in my life today? How do my Higher Power and I communicate? What do I do to be open to my Higher Power?

Is my current concept of a Higher Power still working? How might I need to change my concept of a Higher Power?

TURNING IT OVER

-How would my day look if I were to turn my will and my life over to the care of a Higher Power of my understanding?

How do I take action to turn over? Are there any words I say regularly? What are they?

What have I done recently that demonstrates my surrender to recovery and to working a program?

PART I. STEP - 3 - Steps by the Big Book