Sermon Notes for October 21, 2001

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Sermon Notes for October 21, 2001

The Goals Of A Proverbs Woman

Proverbs 31:10-31

The wife of an army colonel had made an all night flight to meet her husband at his latest military assignment in Germany. She arrived weary at Rhein Main Air Base in Germany with her nine children, all under age eleven. Collecting their many suitcases, the ten of them entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched them in disbelief. “Ma’am,” he said, “do all these children and all this luggage belong to you?” “Yes, sir,” she said with a sigh. “They’re all mine.” The customs agent began his interrogation: “Ma’am, do you have any weapons, contraband, or illegal drugs in your possessions?” “Sir,” she calmly answered, “if I’d had any of those items, I would have used them by now!” She was allowed to pass without having to open a single suitcase.

“Every mother has a favorite child. She cannot help it. She is only human. I have mine—the child for whom I feel a special closeness, with whom I share a love that no one else could possibly understand. My favorite child is the one who was too sick to eat ice cream at his birthday party . . . who had measles at Christmas . . . who wore leg braces to bed because he toed in . . . who had a fever in the middle of the night, the asthma attack, the child in my arms at the emergency ward. My favorite child spent Christmas away from the family, and was stranded after the game with a gas tank on E, lost the money for his class ring. My favorite child is the one who messed up the piano recital, misspelled committee in a spelling bee, ran the wrong way with the football, and had his bike stolen because he was careless. My favorite child is the one I punished for lying, grounded for insensitivity to other people’s feelings, and informed he was a royal pain to the entire family. My favorite child slammed doors in frustration, cried when she didn’t think I saw her, withdrew and said she could not talk to me. My favorite child always needed a haircut, had hair that wouldn’t curl, had no date for Saturday night, and a car that cost $600 to fix. My favorite child was selfish, immature, bad-tempered and self-centered. He was vulnerable, lonely, unsure of what he was doing in this world—and quite wonderful. All mothers have their favorite child. It is always the same one: the one who needs you at the moment. Who needs you for whatever reason—to cling to, to shout at, to hurt, to hug, to flatter, to reverse charges to, to unload on—but mostly just to be there.” Erma Bombeck

Introduction

1. The Wife And Mother Of TODAY.
2. There seems to be a great deal of confusion today about the role of a wife and a mother.
3. Because of so many working women, many who are stay-at-home moms are apologetic as if all that they do is take care of their children.

1. From Sharon Jaynes, Being a Great Mom, Raising Great Kids –
she tells a story:

Recently I attended a barbecue dinner with five hundred tourists in the Rocky Mountains. Across from me sat a family of four from Birmingham, AL: a dad, mom and two little girls, ages eight and ten. We all introduced ourselves and began the friendly banter of “Do you know so-and-so?” and “What do you do?”

At one point in the conversation, someone asked Mary what she “did.” With downcast eyes, she shrugged and said, “Oh, I’m just a mom. I don’t have a job.”

Immediately the hair bristled on the back of my neck, and sirens and lights went off in my head. “Just” a mom? I assured Mary that she had the most important job in all creation: to create order out of chaos; to ensure the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of her two little girls; to bring continuity to her family in a fast-changing world; and to shape the individuals who would contribute to our future as a community and a nation.

I think Mary was sitting up just a little straighter by the time we finished our conversation, and I don’t think she’ll ever use the words “just” and “mom” in the same sentence again.

2. What is a mom? Mary didn’t know it, but if she hadn’t
responded to my initial tirade on motherhood, I was ready to launch my second missile, which was to unpack that little word “mom.” What exactly is a mom’s job description? She’s a wife, mother, friend, housekeeper, interior decorator, laundress, gourmet chef, short-order cook, chauffeur, painter, wallpaper hanger, seamstress, nurse, guidance counselor, internal affairs CEO, financial planner, travel agent, administrative assistant, disciplinarian, preacher, teacher, tutor, spiritual adviser, dietician, lecturer, librarian, fashion coordinator, private investigator, cheerleader, manicurist, pedicurist, landscaper, hair stylist, psychologist, plumber, computer programmer, automobile maintenance expert, referee, and gift purchasing agent for both sides of the family. She might not receive a salary, but the fringe benefits are invaluable: hugs, kisses, and buckets of love. And, she hopes, one day her child will call her blessed.

1. As well there seems to be a great deal of guilt in women who choose to work.

1. Perhaps they love to work outside the home.

2. Perhaps they have to work because they have no choice.

3. I recommend to you a book to encourage you – Mother In The
Middle “Searching For Peace In The Mommy Wars.”

1. Ironically, there is no clear-cut answer from the Scriptures concerning wives and mothers.
2. There is no specific Scripture that says that wives and mothers should or should not work or should or should not exclusively stay at home.
3. There are New Testament Scriptures that speak of the homemaker:

1. I Timothy 5:14 – “So I counsel younger widows to marry, to
have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy
no opportunity for slander.”

2. Titus 2:3-5 – “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent
in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much
wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the
younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-
controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be
subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of
God.”

1. HOWEVER, as we shall see today the Proverbs 31 woman did not spend all of her time at home.
2. From the book, Mother-In-The-Middle, authors Lewis and Yoest say “It’s the Superwoman Myth vs. the Stay-At-Home Mirage. Both are cartoon soldiers. Neither really exists. Caught between these conflicting caricatures is the real-life mother in the middle.”

1. The Wife And Mother Of PROVERBS 31.
2. The writer of Proverbs 31 made 22 points about the virtuous woman.
3. Each point was represented in an acrostic of the Hebrew alphabet – with 22 characters.
4. The reason for such an acrostic was that:

1. Women would have a model to strive to be.

2. Men would have a model to strive to marry.

1. But the woman of Proverbs 31 does not fit anyone’s mold. She is quite a woman - “a working housewife executive.”
2. She’s actually “Martha Stewart meets Donald Trump.”
3. Roy Zuck – “She is pictured as organizing, overseeing, and tending to all the needs of a large estate, the buying and selling and planting of fields. She is not averse to hard physical labor. She produces both the raw material and the finished product needed by members of the household, which includes servants as well as children.”
4. We will meet her today in Proverbs 31.

I. The PRIDE Of The Proverbs Woman.

A. A HUSBAND’S Confidence In His Wife.

1. Aleph – Her character

Vs. 10 – “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than

rubies.”

a. The writer of this chapter knows full well the difficulty of finding such a
woman.

b. Because the woman described is such a total “package.”

1. Godly, God-honoring and God-fearing.

2. The word virtuous describes a woman of power, drive and
determination; a force to be reckoned with.

3. A woman with a phenomenal work ethic.

4. A woman committed to her husband and her children.

5. A businesswoman.

1. WHERE do you find such a woman?

2. Beth – Her consistency.

Vs. 11 – “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

1. He believes in her.

1. BECAUSE his wife is such a complete person, the husband has
complete confidence in her.

2. She is the coordinator, advisor and comptroller of the home.

b. And the husband has so much faith in her that he can leave the
household and finances to her.

1. But she is not simply a homemaker.

2. The term “and lacks nothing of value” means that she has the
ability to make money for the family as well as manage that
money.

3. BECAUSE of her financial ability, HE is secure to go about
living his life.

A. A WIFE’S Confidence In Herself.

1. Gimel – She believes in herself.

Vs. 12 – “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

a. This speaks of her consistency.

b. This woman does not change.

1. She is not moody: happy today and unhappy tomorrow.

2. She is not passive one day and active the next.

c. Even though she does age, her personality does not change.

1. She is singing an “older version” of what she was when they
first met.

2. In all of the good times and bad times she remains true to
herself.

2. He believes in her as well.

a. Ultimately he realizes that “he chose well,” he chose the “real deal” –
not a fake or façade.

b. She has been so consistently consistent.

II. The POWER Of The Proverbs Woman.

A. She Is PARTICULAR.

1. Daleth – with her material.

Vs. 13 – “She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.”

a. She is a SHOPPER!

b. For the most part, shopping is a gift and a calling to wives and mothers.

1. There is nothing more intensive and driven than a woman on a
mission at the mall.

2. Beth in nursery – “That’s my mommy, she shops.”

c. This woman is about the business of shopping well.

1. Choosing the best material that she can find.

2. Wool was used for warm clothing and flax was used to make
fine linen.

d. But she is also a seamstress.

1. Working with her hands.

2. The Hebrew – eager hands literally means she finds pleasure in
her sewing.

1. He – with her food.

Vs. 14 – “She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.”

a. She is a SHOPPER ABOUT FOOD!

b. Like our merchant ships that travel to find spices and exotic foods, she
does the same.

c. It is not always meat and potatoes!

d. She shops not only at various grocery stores, but she also finds unique
food to eat – SHE IS CREATIVE!

e. My story.

1. Artichokes

2. Deep fried French toast

3. Homemade mayonnaise

4. Black bottom pie

5. Charlotte Rouse

6. Lamb with mint jelly.

B. She Is PROACTIVE.

1. Vav – With her time.

Vs. 15 – “She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and
portions for her servant girls.”

a. The text more than likely refers to the fact that a lamp of oil burned all
night long until the oil ran out.

1. She would get up to refill the lamp with oil.

2. She would keep one lamp burning.

b. But while she was up in the early morning hours -

1. She would go ahead and get ready for the next day for her
children,

2. As well as the servants she was in charge of.

1. Zayin – With her talent.

Vs. 16 – “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a
vineyard.”

a. Make no mistake about it, THIS WOMAN IS A MERCHANT!

b. Here’s what she does:

1. From the money that she saves or makes on her own from her
sewing, she takes some of that money and buys a vineyard.

2. Most homes greatly desire to have their own vineyard.

3. And obviously she has to search out the land, and make the deal
with the seller to purchase the field.

a. She must have been a shrewd businesswoman.

b. Middle Eastern practice of bargaining.

c. Me – buying in Egypt

1. She Is PURPOSEFUL.
2. Kheth – With her body.

Vs. 17 – “She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her
tasks.”

1. The Hebrew says, “She girds her loins with strength.”

1. The picture here is of a woman who wants to be unhindered in
her tasks.

2. So that she takes the tunic that she wore around her and ties it
between her legs so that she will not be limited in her labor.

1. Her body shape reveals a working mother.

1. She does not need to go to the gym and lift weights each week.

2. Her body is lean and muscular because she works physically all
day long.

1. Teth – With her plans.

Vs. 18 – “She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out
at night.”

1. This woman makes sure that she makes money.

1. She is not content with being given “an allowance” by her
husband.

2. She wants to make money on her own to invest and make
money.

1. And she burns the midnight oil to think more about how she can be even more productive.

1. Yodh – With her free time.

Vs. 19 – “In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her
fingers.”

1. There really is no free time to speak of in this woman’s life.
2. When she sits down, she takes the opportunity to make wool into thread so that she can make clothes for her family as well as to sell.
3. “Woman’s work is never done.”

III. The PATHOS Of The Proverbs Woman.

A. Kaph – She Is PAINED By Broken People.

Vs. 20 – “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.”

1. With so many responsibilities on her plate, you wonder how she does it all for her
family.

2. And yet, this woman still finds time, energy and money to help the poor.

3. The sense of the Hebrew here is this:

a. She STRAINS to stretch out her OPEN hand to the poor.

b. Her hands already contain money to give.

4. She knows the Scripture that says: “He who has pity on the poor lends it to the
Lord.”

1. A. teacher was trying to teach her class a lesson about fractions. After the lesson she tested one of the boys who was in a large family. “Johnny,” she said, “There are 6 people in your family. Your mom bakes a pie, and she cuts it up for you, what percentage of the pie will you receive?” Johnny, thought for a minute and said, “One-fifth.” The teacher said, “Now, remember there are 6 people in your family, how big would your piece of the pie be?” And again the boy said, “One-fifth.” The teacher said, “No, you don’t understand fractions.” And Johnny respectfully said, “You don’t understand my mom. She would have said that she didn’t want any.”

B. She Is POSITIONED With All People.

1. This woman is not solely focused ONLY on her husband and children.

2. She is focused not only WITHIN, but WITHOUT as well.

3. She has a true Christ like – “others” mindset.

4. Her identity is as caught up in ministry as in her marriage and family. She is
indeed the “complete woman.

IV. The PLANNING Of The Proverbs Woman.

1. Lamedh – She PLANS For Her children.

Vs. 21 – “When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are
clothed in scarlet.”

1. Even though it rarely snows in Israel, this woman is ready for cold weather, she is prepared.
2. The last great snow of 17 inches in Israel was in 1879.
3. But she will be ready.
4. She chooses scarlet, red, because it soaks in heat from the sun.

1. Mem – She PLANS For Her Home.

Vs. 22 – “She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.”

1. This woman is not just a worker in the home.
2. No, she also is an interior decorator.
3. She wants to make her home not only livable, but beautiful.
4. She wants to put a woman’s touch throughout the house.
5. New tribes training – the difference between men and women.
6. The words:
7. “Coverings for the bed”

1. This speaks of coverings for a couch.

2. In fact, it means “to prepare a couch.”

3. This is a fine tapestry used to cover a couch.

1. “Fine linen”

1. Linen was the finest and most expensive fabric made during
these times; it was tightly woven.

2. She was not content to simply use fabric, she wanted to use the
finest she could get.

1. “Purple”

1. The only way to create purple clothes was to take the dye that
came in a mollusks and harvest it.

2. It took some 8000 mollusks to produce one gram of purple dye.

3. This purple became the color of Rome.

4. They put a purple robe on Jesus as they mocked Him.