Sermon Notes for May 20, 2007

Dealing With Difficult Emotions

As A Christian Sermon Series

“Dealing With Forgiveness”

Matthew 18:21-35

A lady was sick, so she went to the doctor. He examined her, did a number of tests and told her the bad news. "I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but I’m afraid you’ve contracted rabies." The doctor left the room for a minute, and when he returned the woman was busy writing on a piece of paper. He asked, "What are you doing, writing your will?" She said, "No, I’m making a list of all the people I’m going to bite."

Introduction

The Christian’s GREATEST PROBLEM.
Let me ask you a very personal question . . . Is there anyone, anywhere in this world, that you need to forgive?
let your mind wander . . . think about your past
did someone ever:

1. hurt you?

2. reject you?

3. cause you pain?

have you been mad at someone for years and years?

But you might say:
“Well, you don’t know what they did to me, for if you did you would agree with me.”
“I will forgive them only when they come to apologize to me.”
“Well, I will forgive them, but I will never forget what they did to me.”

The Christian’s GREATEST PERSPECTIVE.
I want you to know something about the Word of God . . . THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT FORGIVENESS! THIS IS ITS MESSAGE!
in the Garden of Eden – after Adam and Eve fell into sin, God prophesied that He would send a solution to bring about their forgiveness
in the sacrificial system – all of the blood spilled in the sacrifices represented the need for forgiveness for the sinner
John the Baptist proclaimed at the coming of Jesus Christ – “The Lamb who comes to take away the sins of the world.”
Jesus Christ BOLDLY proclaimed WHY HE CAME TO THIS EARTH . . . John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

1. Jesus’ ministry was a ministry of forgiveness

a. the man at the pool

b. the woman at the well

c. the woman caught in adultery

2. EVEN AS HE WAS DYING, HE FORGAVE HIS
EXECUTIONERS! “Father, forgive them for they know not
what they do.”

WHY DID JESUS CHRIST COME TO THIS EARTH?
man fell into sin
and Jesus came to forgive that fall

The Christian’s PARABLE.
Jesus shares His perspective on forgiveness in a parable.
and you will see that JESUS IS TOTALLY COMMITTED TO FORGIVENESS . . . and we should be too
we will clearly see this in this parable
Jesus told His disciples this parable because they needed, like us, to understand Jesus’ perspective and commitment to forgiveness.
in Matthew 18:15 – Jesus had introduced the concept of dealing with other people who had wronged you.

Vs. 15 - "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”

with that in mind, Peter asked Jesus a “noble question” in Verse 21 -

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

1. we must realize how “noble” Peter’s question was:

a. the typical Jew believed that you were only to forgive
someone three times and then no more

1. Amos 1:3 – “This is what the LORD says: "For
three sins of Damascus, even for four, I will not
turn back my wrath.”

2. Rabbi’s view – “If a brother sins against you
once, forgive him, a second time, forgive him, a
third time, forgive him, but a fourth time, do
not forgive him.”

b. so . . . Peter is going “beyond” the number of forgiving
someone 3 times to the Biblically perfect number of 7

1. Peter was going “beyond” the basic number of
three

2. Peter must have been so proud of himself

2. but we must also realize how “necessary” was Jesus’ response

a. in response, Jesus went “way beyond” the 7 times, but
“seventy times seven”

b. we must be careful not to be literal here

1. if Jesus did not mean literally 7 times

2. He certainly did not mean 490 times

3. JESUS’ GOAL HERE . . . WAS NOT TO
BE LITERAL AT ALL

c. in my opinion, Jesus took Peter’s 7 and exponentially
multiplied it

1. He took the 7 and multiplied it by itself 10
times!

2. in other words, THERE IS NO LIMIT TO THE
TIMES THAT YOU ARE TO FORGIVE
ANOTHER PERSON!

3. now, let’s look at Jesus teaching on forgiveness

I. The Parable Of The Unmerciful Servant EXPLAINED.

The SERVANT WAS A DEBTOR.

Vs. 23-25 - "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.”

A King had a servant who was his tax collector.
apparently the King hired certain men to collect taxes for him
it was found out that one of these men owed the King some 10,000 talents

1. a talent was about 75 lbs. of silver or gold

2. 10,000 talents would be approximately 750,000 lbs. of gold

3. in troy weight: 600.00 (the current price for gold per oz) is
7,200,000,000 in today’s money (yes, that’s 7 billion dollars!)

Once the King discovered the discrepancy, he called in the servant.
in Jesus’ day, there was actually a debtor’s prison in which those who could not pay their debts would be put
when this man was called before the King, the King demanded that the man pay him back or be sent with his entire family to the debtor’s prison
Once the man understood the King’s request, notice:
his posture

Vs. 26 – “The servant fell on his knees before him.”

1. he fell down on his face prostrate before the King

2. the word for fell down is actually used in worship – he touched
the ground with his head

his promise

Vs. 26 – “Be patient with me, he begged and I will pay back everything.”

1. he is asking to be able to pay it all back! - a 7 billion dollar debt

a. one man has figured that – at the average pay that this
man made each day, it would take this man 37,415,820
years to pay back the King!

b. A.S. Kennedy – In order to carry 10,000 talents, it
would take an army of about 8,600 carriers each
carrying a sack of gold coins 60 lbs. in weight; and they
would form, at a distance of a yard apart, a line five
miles long.

2. obviously, this man had no chance whatsoever to EVER pay
the King back for what he had stolen

The King was deeply moved at the attitude of his unfaithful servant.

Vs. 27 - "The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.”

the King was moved with compassion

1. the Greek word splagchnizomai (splagchon)

a. to be moved in one’s bowels

b. the King was moved in his stomach

2. obviously, the servant deeply touched the King

and then the King forgave the man’s debt

1. the King forgave the man a 7 billion dollar debt!

2. AND HE WAS FREE TO GO!

a. to be set free

b. to be loosed

c. after stealing some 7 billion dollars from the King, he
King sent him home, “Scott Free!” NO DEBT!

3. he would not have to pay back ONE CENT!

The SERVANT WAS A CREDITOR.

Vs. 28 - "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii’s. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.”

AS THE FORGIVEN SERVANT IS LEAVING THE KING’S PALACE, he runs into a man who owed him some money.
Jesus says in the parable that the man owed him 100 denarii

1. a denarii was a day’s wages – about $1.00 a day, probably less

2. at today’s minimum wage of $5.15/hour that would roughly be
$4,120.00 that he owed the unjust servant

upon seeing the man, the unjust servant grabbed him by the neck, began to choke him and demanded that he pay him the 100 denarii or he would throw the man into debtor’s prison

Notice the man who owed the money.
his posture

Vs. 29 – “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him.”

1. just like the unjust servant before the King, this man fell on his
face prostrate before the unjust servant

2. also he took a posture of worship

his promise

Vs. 29 – “Be patient with me and I will pay you back.”

1. and just like the unjust servant before the King, THIS MAN
TOO PROMISED TO PAY HIM BACK

2. but, unlike the unjust servant, HE COULD HAVE PAID IT
BACK!

But notice what the unjust servant did.
because the man could not pay back the debt of $4,100.00 immediately, HE THREW THE MAN WHO OWED HIM THE DEBT INTO DEBTOR’S PRISON
all for $4,100.00
But notice the justice of it all.
the same servants of the King who had witnessed the King’s forgiveness of the unjust servant SAW THE ENTIRE SITUATION AND WERE MORTIFIED

1. the unjust servant had just been forgiven of 7 billion dollars in
debt to the King

2. and this man could not forgive another man of less than
$100.00! – exactly 1/20,000th of 1% of what he owed the
King!

so, the King’s servants went immediately to the King to tell him what the unjust servant had just done

The SERVANT BECAME A DEBTOR.

Vs. 32-34 - "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.”

Once the servants told the King what had happened, the King became very, very upset.
The Greek word for angry

1. vengeful

2. wrathful

3. anger that would provoke him to punish

4. it was a serious word for anger

the King was angry and was going to make sure that there would be punishment

As a result of seeing the lack of grace of the unjust servant who he had forgiven, in anger the King would throw the unjust servant into the debtor’s prison.
to pay for his 7 billion dollar debt - a debt that he would never, ever pay off
OBVIOUSLY, the unjust servant would spend the rest of his life in prison

II. The Parable Of The Unmerciful Servant APPLIED.

The CHRISTIAN IS A DEBTOR.
In my opinion, Jesus was attempting to show the ABSOLUTELY MONUMENTAL DEBT THAT WE OWE GOD BECAUSE OF OUR OWN SIN.
THIS IS HOW GREAT OUR OWN SIN IS BEFORE A HOLY GOD

1. regarding our sins, we owe God some 7 billion dollars - and we
make minimum wage

2. there is no hope whatsoever of EVER being able to pay God for
our sins

let me make it more personal for you

EE – record book of sins

Notice:
our posture

1. so, because we know that we cannot possibly pay for our sins,
we throw ourselves down and beg God for mercy

2. we know that we can never be righteous enough to go to
heaven on our own merit

a. we have too many sins

b. we owe too much money

c. it is absolutely hopeless

our promise

1. and we promise and swear that we will follow Him

2. we promise that we will rest in His mercy and His grace

AND HE FORGIVES US!
HE FORGIVES ONE WHO WORKS AT MCDONALD’S A 7 BILLION DOLLAR DEBT!
and we are free to go

1. forgiven of the debt

2. SCOTT FREE!

The CHRISTIAN BECOMES A CREDITOR.

No sooner do we walk from the gracious throne room of God
where we have been forgiven a 7 billion dollar debt
a debt that we had no ability to repay
And we bump into a person who has “wronged us” – AND WE DEMAND PAYMENT . . . RIGHT NOW!
have hurt us

1. “They offended me at work.”

2. “They hurt my feelings.”

3. “They rejected me.”

WHATEVER SOMEONE HAS DONE TO US . . .

1. it is infinitely infinitesimal compared to how much we have
offended God

2. we demand $4,100.00 – while we have been forgiven 7 billion
dollars!

The CHRISTIAN BECOMES A DEBTOR.
And the Lord becomes angry with us.
He is displeased that we overlooked the enormous debt that He forgave us
and then we forgot His grace to us and DEMANDED that the other person who owed us an apology, make immediate payment
Because of our lack of grace to others, God will “throw us into spiritual jail.”
LOOK AT VERSE 35 - "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

1. God will hold each of us accountable for NOT FORGIVING
OTHER PEOPLE

a. you will be living in sin

b. and He will hold you accountable for that sin

2. unless “you forgive your brother from your heart”

a. this is not a “verbal arrangement”

b. no, this is a setting someone free from your heart

for those of you who are “hanging on” to your anger and lack of forgiveness

1. it is my opinion that He is deeply grieved with you

2. even to the point of anger

Conclusion:

When do you seek forgiveness?
when YOU are at fault –

Matthew 5:23- 24 - "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

1. this is an occasion when you are the one who is at fault – you have
sinned against another person

2. NOTICE THIS . . .

a. whether you actually “did something” against the other person
or not . . .

b. the other person “THINKS” that you sinned against them

c. THEREFORE, . . . IT IS ALWAYS THE MORE MATURE
BELIEVERS RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE THE FIRST
MOVE TO RECONCILE!

1. the immature believer “waits” for the other person to
make the first step

2. while Jesus says that it is your responsibility

d. and . . . in this particular text in Matthew 5, Jesus calls us to:

1. leave church to do it

2. QUIT PLAYING CHURCH while you are filled with
hate and bitterness toward other people

3. God is deeply grieved at your blatant hypocrisy

when ANOTHER PERSON is at fault

Matthew 18:15 - "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault,
just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”

1. DID YOU NOTICE THIS?

a. in this instance, YOU were not at fault – THE OTHER
PERSON WAS; THEY HURT YOU!

b. but YOU are to be the one to initiate reconciliation!

2. remember it is always the more mature Christian who initiates
reconciliation – whether he is guilty or not!

What are the steps of forgiveness?
it involves true confession on your part

1. you must confess your sin toward another “Biblically”

a. confess the literal sin of hatred

b. confess the literal sin of bitterness

c. confess the literal sin of resentment

2. you may have to go to the person personally

a. but only if that other person knows that there is a problem
(public sin)

b. otherwise handle it privately between you and the Lord

it then moves to actual forgiveness

1. while repentance is the first step

2. forgiveness is the most necessasry second step

a. DON’T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF THINKING THAT YOU
MUST “WANT” TO FORGIVE BEFORE YOU DO SO

1. forgiveness is an act of obedience

2. in actuality, your hatred or bitterness of that other
person would actually “prevent” you from ever
“wanting” to forgive them

b. so, as the Nike commercial says, JUST DO IT!

c. my own experience as I learned about forgiveness

it results in true freedom

1. do you know who the real “loser” is when you won’t forgive another
person – YOU ARE!

a. How much time have you spent thinking about that person who
hurt you?
b. How many sleepless nights have you experienced fuming and
being angry?

c. Do you think that that other person is losing any sleep over
you?

2. if you truly confess your sins against another and forgive them from
your heart:

a. you will immediately experience freedom

b. freedom from “spiritual prison”

An example of a lack of forgiveness.
In 1882, in New York City, Patrick McQuade wanted to build some houses on 82nd Street at Lexington.

1. the adjoining parcel of land was owned by a building contractor known
as Joseph Richardson

2. McQuade wanted to acquire this piece of property, 102 feet long and 5
feet wide, to extend a building that he wanted to build

assuming that the narrow tract of land would be useless to build on, McQuade offered Richardson $1,000.00 for the small skinny parcel

1. Richardson refused the $1,000.00 because he wanted $5,000.00 instead

2. Richardson apparently became very angry and bitter because look
what Richardson did to show his displeasure

Richardson decided to build on this unique lot

1. Richardson built a building that would be 100 feet land and 5 feet wide

a. Slide 4a

b. Slide 4b

2. obviously, Richardson’s building would block any views of the
building built by McQuade

3. and to top it all off, Richardson decided to move in and live there!

a. show slide #10

b. dimensions

1. the dining room table was only 18 inches wide

2. the chairs were built proportionally small

3. the kitchen stove was the smallest the manufacturer had
ever built

4. the beds were barely wide enough to hold a person’s
body

5. the house was too narrow for two people to pass - a
man named Deacon Terry, a reporter for the American,
was sent to the house one summer day to interview Mr.
Richardson and got stuck in the winding staircase.
Despite the efforts of neighbors to push him one way or
the other, the broad-girthed Mr. Terry remained firmly
wedged in. Only by wriggling out of his clothes was he
able to extricate himself, and he finished the interview
on the roof in his shorts.