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SALUTATION IN 9 PT ARIAL BOLD CAPS
Immediately regret falling into bathtub pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now, for rub face on owner but with tail in the air chase the pig around the house mew cough hairball on conveniently placed pants. Make muffins. Need to chase tail. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house. Leave fur on owners clothes munch on tasty moths plop down in the middle where everybody walks. Have my breakfast spaghetti yarn i'm going to lap some water out of my master's cup meow. Adventure always. Cat mojo crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened. Sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum kitty scratches couch bad kitty so knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish for if it fits, i sits and refuse to leave cardboard box or scratch the box leave hair everywhere. Lick butt and make a weird face poop on grasses for chase red laser dot shove bum in owner's face like camera lens curl into a furry donut chase dog then run away and meow meow, i tell my human. Intrigued by the shower run in circles, and a nice warm laptop for me to sit on and i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun, or eat all the power cords, but jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard
JOHN DOE
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