Revision: Vignette

Revision is where REAL writing takes place. Revision literally means to “see again,” to look at something from a fresh, critical perspective. Choose one of your 3 vignettes to revise and expand.

Now your final paper should be a minimum of 1 ½– 2 pages. Incorporate what we have learned in the past few weeks. Use the following checklists and the rubric (on back) to be sure you stay on track.

Your reader should know:

What you were thinking: a few places should include your inner thoughts, not just describing the moment.

How you were feeling: we should know why this is an important memory—you don’t tell us this, you show us just like in your show don’t tell paper

What you saw: describe the setting, or the characters, or the minor details that others might forget

What you heard: use quotations to let us hear the dialogue

Your paper should include

Figurative language: Most importantly alliteration and imagery

PERFECT spelling –No errors on: it’s, its, too, to, two, then, than, their, they’re, there, your, you’re

EXCELLENT grammar – have someone else read your paper and check it for you

LEGIBLE handwriting. Even better—type it.

STRONG VERBS and CONCRETE NOUNS: watch for the “be” verbs (is, am, are, were, was, being, been) revise for strong verbs and concrete nouns.

If you prefer to type it, do so in Google Docs and share with

Title it: LastName.FirstName.PD#.Vignette

Scoring

4 = 20 / 3=17 / 2= 14 / 1= 12
Ideas / Vignette focuses on a single moment that seems significant to the author’s life. / Vignette focuses on a single moment that seems kind of significant to the author’s life. / Vignette focuses on a single moment that does not seem significant to the author’s life. / Author does not seem to be aware of the significance of the moment.
Word Choice (focus on strong verbs and concrete nouns) / Most or all verbs are precise and vivid. Visual picture is effectively created through imagery and concrete nouns. / Some specific words have replaced plain or overused verbs. Visual picture is sufficiently created through imagery and concrete nouns. / Few specific verbs have been used in this piece. / Almost all the verbs are “be” verbs. Lack of revision. Visual picture is not created.
Figurative language / Effectively uses figurative language to broaden the meaning behind details and ideas. / Uses figurative language but some might me incorrect and/or unclear and detract from the overall description. / Uses few examples of figurative language or many are incorrect or hamper a clear understanding of the main idea. / Does not use figurative language. Lack of revision.
Conventions (grammar and spelling) / Demonstrates a command of standard English, spelling, sentence structure, punctuation, etc. There is evidence of proofreading and revising. / Demonstrates a basic control of standard English, exhibiting some errors that do not hinder comprehension. There is some evidence of proofreading and revising. / Fails to maintain a clear focus with many irrelevancies and exhibits errors that hinder understanding of the vignette. There is little evidence of proofreading and revising. / No focus or organizational skills. Demonstrates little control of standard English, exhibiting many errors that make comprehension difficult. There is no evidence of proofreading and revising.
Structure / Author clearly “shows” attitudes and feelings numerous times through the thoughts, action and dialogue of the characters. / Author’s attitudes and feelings before are evident & occur numerous times through the thoughts and actions of the character. / Direct statements indicate the author’s feelings and attitudes and/or some events are not necessarily significant. / Includes irrelevant events that cause the reader confusion in trying to determine thebeforefeelings and attitudes.