For DILIGENCE vs Slothfulness
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Faith Committee, Character Council of Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky
Reproduction and adaptation is encouraged
Hospitality is cheerfully sharing food, shelter, or conversation to BENEFIT others.
A character quality is a usual pattern of thinking, speaking or acting – a habit. Good character qualities,
like any habits, can be developed by making decisions and taking actions that reinforce those habits.
Practicing the “I Wills” for a character quality helps develop it as a habit.
“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily,
as to the Lord, and not unto men;”
Colossians 3:23
FIVE “I WILLS”
By Bob and Trisha Hicks
Missionaries, Helping Hands for Him, Panama City, FL
“Remember the prisoners, as though in prison with them, and those who are ill-treated,
since you yourselves also are in the body.” - Hebrews 13:3
I will welcome visitors.
“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.” (Hebrews 13:2) A visitor is anyone who does not live in our home. This person may be traveling or may have come for a short time to stay, but either way, we need to make him or her feel welcome. All of us tend to feel a bit awkward or insecure when we are out of our normal surroundings. Remember that feeling when visitors come to your home, and take the opportunity to make them feel comfortable and secure in new surroundings.
The ability to make others feel welcome is a skill that anyone can develop, and preparing your home to receive visitors is a great place to start. If it is your habit to keep things picked up around your home you will feel much more comfortable when it comes time to open it to visitors. And when the host or hostess is at ease and comfortable, most times the guest is comfortable as well.
I will make others feel important.
“Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father… So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” (Matthew 10:29-31) The ministry of hospitality is a mission. When a guest is in your home, or when you meet a person on the street, you have a mission to fulfill because these meetings do not happen by chance. They are divine appointments. God appoints the times and seasons of these meetings for a reason. Seeing such meetings as appointments from God instead of chance occurrences will give us the perspective we need to sense God’s time and purpose for the meeting. He has a purpose that is broader than our own, and we need to be sensitive to it.
The seeming purposelessness of most human encounters grinds everyone into a sense of obscurity. It is easy for people become faceless to us, and unimportant, especially those who do not match up to the world’s standard of beauty or achievement. We must be vigilant to not allow the media’s standards of worthiness to degrade God’s standard for our lives. Each person is important to God, and we need to communicate that to others through our every action.
I will prepare for guests.
Exactly what does it mean to “prepare” for guests? It all starts with the host or hostess taking personal responsibility. It is up to you to make them feel as if they are expected and welcome. Make a special effort to see that your guests’ needs are met, even before they arrive. The very definition of the word guest is “a person entertained in the home.” To entertain means to keep the interest of someone and to give him or her a pleasurable diversion and amusement. Are you providing your guests with an environment that is a pleasurable diversion, where their cares can be left behind? Make your guests feel honored and relaxed by the effort that has gone into your preparation for them.
I will gladly share my things.
Perhaps the first recollection we have of sharing our things is the memory of sharing our toys as children. Hospitality would certainly include that for a child, but as we become adults we find that the true meaning of sharing goes much deeper. Sharing has its most profound impact when the giver has the least to give. Hospitality may mean sharing from our abundance like the woman who anointed Jesus with the costly vial of perfume (Mark 14:3). Or it may mean sharing half of what you have when there is not enough for the two of you. It could mean giving all when there is nothing left to give like the widow of Zarephath who fed Elijah (I Kings 17). It may involve sharing comfort when you are hurting yourself. And when everything material is spent, hospitality shares its root virtues, faith, hope, and love. Sharing the love of Christ with our world is the most hospitable thing we can do as Christians, and we can do it regardless of whether we are materially rich poor.
I will not expect anything in return.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) It is our nature to desire compensation in return for what we have given, but God’s holy nature is different. True benevolence carries no expectation of reward. It provides for the needs of others, and gives just for the pleasure of giving. We must apply ourselves to follow the example of giving that Jesus modeled. He gave freely though it cost him everything. He did not expect compensation or reward from those to whom He gave. And he was personally engaged. With every gift he gave himself.
Hospitality in Nature
Bighorn Sheep display hospitality to those in the herd by the way they care for one another. The older members of the flock lead to beautiful meadows where younger sheep can eat their fill of smooth, alpine grass. Bighorn sheep depend on each other to survive in the rugged terrain of the deserts and mountains. The sheep that know how to find water holes or vegetation guide the other sheep so they can have enough to eat. The bighorn sheep’s predator, the mountain lion, knows that it must outrun and out maneuver the leadership of the whole flock in order to be successful, for mother sheep are on constant guard, watching against any sign of danger. When one sheep knows the territory well, it will lead the entire herd to the choicest places to eat and hide. When danger approaches, bighorn sheep have the ability to dash up and down the steep cliffs, jumping from rock to rock.
Are we as hospitable to those around us as bighorn sheep are to each other? Look for ways to encourage others. Protect one another from harm. Make others feel welcome and important when they are in your presence. And remember Jesus’ attitude toward the multitudes that followed Him. (Luke 5:1-3) Let us also follow in His footsteps by becoming hospitable.
Hospitality in History
Dolly Madison (1768-1849) learned valuable lessons about hospitality during her youth that benefited her family, and would become a great benefit to others during the early years of our nation. When she was fifteen her father suffered a financial reverse after freeing the family’s slaves. These difficulties required Dolly to discontinue her schooling to take over the cooking chores and other assignments previously done by servants. She also made the clothes for her six younger brothers and sisters.
Dolly later married congressman James Madison who went on to serve as President Thomas Jefferson’s Secretary of State. Because Jefferson was a widower Dolly served as White House hostess. Later, when her husband was elected President she continued as First Lady, where she became famous for the social graces that smoothed conflicts and quieted tempers. During the sixteen years that the Madisons served in the White House, Dolly created an atmosphere of hospitality where people of strong differing views could meet at ease, her polite tact maneuvering conversations to avoid conflicts. So determined was her hospitality that she continued to entertain from temporary quarters even after the White House was burned by the British during the War of 1812.
A resident of Washington, commenting on her hostessing skills, said, “it would be absolutely impossible for anyone to behave with more perfect propriety than she did.” Dolly Madison, a lady of social graces, charm, and tact, was an asset to her husband, her family, the White House, and the entire country.
Hospitality at Home
To be people of hospitality two things need to be prepared, our homes and our hearts. Perhaps you’ve heard it said, “If you’re coming to see me, come anytime. If you’re coming to see my house, notify me six months in advance.” Although this saying is cute, it isn’t really the way we should live. Yes, people who are coming to see us are coming to see us, but in the mean time, our “house” is there to see as well, and it needs to be a prepared vessel that welcomes all who enter. So strive to be organized and disciplined to keep things neat and ready for any unexpected visitor.
We also need to prepare our hearts for the ministry of hospitality. Take some time to reflect on the welcome you received when you came to Christ. He accepted you into His family, gave you all the riches of eternal life in Christ, and has promised to welcome you into heaven forever as his own possession. He is always open to hear you, and consistently blesses you with the communion of His presence. If we are truly His children we will be grateful, and our gratitude will show itself to others in the way we welcome them into our lives. Our homes will be havens for others as Christ is a haven for us. Train your children to be hospitable too by allowing them to bring their friends home. The greatest compliment a parent can have is to have children who always want their friends to come to their home.
Hospitality at Work
Hospitality in the workplace involves several things. First it implies openness in the way we do business. The consumer should be able to come to us without fear that we have anything to hide.
Another often-overlooked aspect of hospitality involves how we treat our employees. Our workplaces need to be a welcome environment where employees feel needed, welcome, and important parts of the team. All too often employees are viewed as children, or costs of doing business, or potential problems to be managed. If you are in a position of responsibility, make those under you feel welcome. Have an open door policy. Treat employees with respect and dignity, and use humor to break stress and tension. The power of a smile, or a well timed “thank you,” or a card on an employee’s birthday or anniversary cannot be overstated. A good and godly manager will be just as concerned for the members of his own team as he is for the customer or the financial bottom line.
Employees should be just as hospitable to their bosses. It is not “kissing up” to treat a boss well, or to make a supervisor feel that you welcome their advice and assignments. Go beyond the required tasks and find ways to lighten their loads. Do everything you can to counter the “us against them” mentality that poisons the environment of so many corporations. Work to make everyone you work with and for feel welcome in your workplace.
The Lord will honor us if we are diligent to live as he wants us to in the workplace. As the book of Proverbs says, “Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before obscure men.” (Proverbs 22:29) Be skilled in hospitality.
Hospitality in the Church
One of the greatest hindrances to hospitality in the church is when cliques form. In smaller churches especially it is common to see a clique form around those who are always in attendance. Whenever cliques form visitors will not feel welcome because they are “outside of the circle.” Cliques are hard to dismantle because they revolve around common interests, common history, common perspectives, and common lifestyles. In short, a clique is based on bonds of phileo and storge love; they are born of similarity and familiarity. There is nothing wrong with this type of friendship; indeed the Scriptures encourage it, but love that is born of familiarity and similarity necessarily tends to exclude whatever is unfamiliar and dissimilar. That is why some of the friendliest churches in America are dying. Friendship alone often leads a church to negative growth.
The answer is agape love that manifests itself in loving even the unfamiliar and dissimilar; in short, hospitality. Hospitality welcomes visitors in with open arms and a warm embrace of the heart, without subliminally communicating, “you must conform to our preexisting pattern. Hospitality adapts to the needs of its object, instead of expecting the object to adapt to it.
Another hindrance to hospitality in our churches is our busy schedules and responsibilities. It is good to serve, and be about the Lord’s business, but when it hinders the ultimate goal of the church, we are too busy. The ultimate goal of the church is to be a lighthouse in the community and to a lost world, to lift up the fallen soldiers and give opportunity for healing to the hurting. The only way the church can fulfill this mission is through a revival of hospitality that welcomes all who will enter our doors.
Perhaps one final thing should be said about hospitality in the church. The primary Object of our hospitality should be the Lord. Our God is a holy, righteous and loving God. We have already mentioned that hospitality adapts to the need of its object. Well, the primary Object of our love and affection is the Lord, and we need to conform to Him in a way that makes Him feel welcome to move about in our midst; to go where he wants to go with us and do what He wants to do with the full cooperation of our wills. We live first to make God feel welcome, and from that basis reach out in hospitality to the stranger. When we do this, strangers see that Jesus is the fountainhead of our love.