Revision Techniques 1

Vary Sentence Starters

  • Check the first word of each sentence to make sure your sentence starters vary. Need help? Try one of these:
  • Begin with an adverb
  • Begin with a preposition
  • Do NOT begin with words such as HERE or THERE

Vary Sentence Structures

  • Make at least one sentence compound
  • Make at least one sentence compound by using a semicolon (;)
  • Make at least three sentences complex by beginning with one of the following words:

After, Although, As, Because, Before, If, Until, Since, When, Whenever, While

Vary Sentence Types

  • Use a question, but make it a good one. Two questions back to back are best.
  • Try to fit in an exclamatory sentence if it works well with your writing.

Examine Your Vocabulary

  • Did you overuse a word? Once per paragraph is PLENTY.
  • Is your vocabulary simplistic? Use a thesaurus and include a higher level word choice.

Include Style Elements

  • ACCEPTABLE FRAGMENTS a one word sentence
  • Rock. Rap. Country. Teen choices in music vary across the land.
  • Cha-ching! Can’t you hear the profits ringing in your ear?
  • Fear. Dread. What type of event brings about these feelings?
  • Mother Nature. Mother Teresa. Mother Goose. Many mothers have stood the test of time, but no mother compares to mine.
  • A soft touch on the shoulder that says a thousand words. Hope. A strand of hair delicately stroked. Peace. A shoulder to cry on whenever tears flow. Comfort. A best friend when you’re surrounded by foes. Mother.

Additional Examples

Revision Techniques 2

  • ALLUSION a reference to events, characters, history, or literature
  • If Cindy wanted to find her way home, this would be her yellow brick road.
  • His desire for chocolate turned out to be his Achilles’ heel.
  • They are the Barbie and Ken of the school.
  • Faith, hope, and love are some good things he gave us; it is said that the greatest is love, but the greatest thing he gave me is my mom.
  • Safe at last, Safe at last. Thank God almighty, I am safe at last.
  • My _____ is my sunshine; she makes me happy when skies are gray.
  • We the children in order to form a more perfect middle school, need recess.
  • My family is not exactly the Brady Bunch we pretend to be all the time.
  • Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not boast or keep any records of wrong.
  • Sugar, spice, and everything nice, that is what little girls are made of, right?
  • To care, or not to care? That is the question.
  • When I entered ______, I knew I was not in Kansas anymore.
  • Cupcakes and candy and brownies, oh my!
  • My sunroom is my Garden of Eden; it’s before there was sin.

Additional Examples
  • HYPHENATED MODIFIER a group of words used together to modify a noun
  • Mom listens to that make-you-fall-asleepmusic.
  • She danced to the music with an I-love-this-songpassion.
  • Darcy was the party-pooper-goody-two-shoesmember of the group.
  • Not exactly a roll-off-your-tongueword
  • Her turn-that-frown-upside-downattitude always…
  • I-am-driving-I-get-to-choose-what-we-listen-torule.
  • True-to-the-end-of-timequote.
  • My been-there-done-thatmom

Additional Examples

Revision Techniques 3

  • MAGIC THREE three phrases of equal length and similar beginnings (all verbs etc.)
  • She bounced the ball, tossed it in the air, and sent it sailing across the net.
  • After a long day at work, I fall onto my bed, open my favorite book, and become lost in the pages.
  • The multiple letters, the multiple formulas, and the multiple solutions are…..
  • Mothers are someone to talk to when nobody understands, someone to care and love you when nobody else does, and someone to give everyone a hard time to make life a little better.

Additional Examples
  • METAPHOR a comparison NOT using like or as
  • Reading is a palette that paints a picture of the story.
  • At one point, (reading) was a tall mountain that I could not climb.
  • ______is a rock of tolerance.
  • ______pinches my cheeks until they are rotten tomatoes.
  • The next day ____ starts a new page with me even if I don’t deserve it.
  • _____ always ends up being the one to stop the rain, pick me up again, and tell me it is alright.
  • She can read the pages of my heart without opening the book
  • Leaving behind a wet trail of grief and pain (Also symbolism)

Additional Examples
  • PERSONIFICATION is giving human qualities to something nonhuman
  • The sun beat down on the players on the field.
  • My pencil refused to write the correct answers.
  • The smell tells me a little story about a cooking experience I had with my mom.
  • These questions were dying to be answered
  • No more dark, sad clouds sitting above children all day.
  • All the times unfair and harsh words have walked out of my mouth

Additional Examples

Revision Techniques 4

  • REPETITION FOR EFFECT is used to emphasis an important thought or idea
  • She knew the little child had not eaten. She knew the small girl was hungry. She knew her candy made the child’s stomach ache with desire, but she offered her nothing.
  • Escape into a book, escape into a television show, or escape into sleep, the options are all there.

Additional Examples
  • SIMILE is a comparison using the words like or as
  • --- is like a magic portal; they can take you anywhere.
  • --- are like roller coasters; once you start, you can’t stop.
  • --- is like the gum that sticks to my shoe.
  • --- is like the alphabet; without her, the world would not make sense.
  • --- is like superman, always there to save the day.
  • --- has more patience than the tortoise racing the hare.
  • I needed --- like turtles need their shell.
  • Coordination like credit is limited to a few people
  • She is like trick candles; no matter how hard you blow you can never extinguish her fire.
  • When troubles fall like sheets of prickly hail, …
  • ---- is like the sun. She evaporates my burdens as I lay them down.
  • Like a warm blanket to curl up into, --- is always there
  • ------fights like two banjos placed on a moonlit stump
  • I stick to ----- like a bear to honey
  • Life without------is like an emotional crash without a seat belt
  • They will be like termites on a dead log.
  • My mom’s jokes are like the post, always reliable to be there.

Additional Examples
  • TWO ADJECTIVES AFTER A NOUN
  • The ocean, large and glimmering, makes the perfect waves to skimboard
  • The book, old and beaten, just sat on the shelf waiting to be read.
  • Books can lead you on a fantasy adventure, daring and exciting.
  • His “catch phrases”, quirky and unique, make learning a breeze
  • She’s the lighthouse in my life, strong and guiding.
  • _____ gives 100% of her time just out of love, pure and selfless.

Transition Sheet

TYPE / PURPOSE / EXAMPLES
Example / To give example / As an illustration
For example
For instance
In other words
In particular
That is to say
Compare / To show a likeness
between things / In a like manner
In a similar case
In the same way
Likewise
Similarly
Not only…but also
Contrast / To show a difference
Between things / However,
Nevertheless,
On the other hand In spite of
Although
Even though
On the contrary In contrast
Emphasize / To show emphasis or stress a point / Admittedly
Certainly
Even
Indeed
In fact
Of course
Truly
Cause and
effect / To indicate a cause and effect relationship between your sentences / As a result
Consequently
Hence
Then
Therefore
Thus
Concluding / To summarize or conclude / In conclusion
In short In brief In a word
In summary
To sum up
Continuation / To indicate an addition or continuation / Again, Furthermore, In addition, Also, Moreover
Sequence/
chronological / To indicate order / First, Secondly, Then, Last, Finally

Short Hooks for Body Paragraphs

  1. An amazing fact

Ex: A professional ballet slipper can cost over $500.

  1. A non-debatable statement

Ex: Every woman desire beautiful shoes.

  1. A statistic

Ex: Five out of six women prefer to wear high heels to work.

  1. a “Quote”

Ex: Angel Bassett always says, “No woman’s closet should be missing a pair of bedroom slippers.”

5. A short proverb/anecdote

Ex: “He who wars moccasins walks softly.”

6. A riddle

Ex: What’s loud but cannot speak? A bright neon green slipper.

  1. A rhyme

Ex: It goes with me throughout the day / And steps upon grass or clay. My boot is my best friend.

  1. A question

Ex: What shoe represents the essence of a woman? A ballet slipper, of course.

(If you ask a question, you must answer it.)

  1. An exclamation or functional fragment

Ex: What a great fit! Oh boy, shoes!

  1. A slogan (modify to fit topic)

Ex: Got shoes?

Opening Paragraph Hook Options

Opener #1

Allusion ►►►►
Transition to thesis (withthree body ¶ points)
Thesis ►►►► / As Dr. Seuss once said, “Sam loves green eggs and ham in a box, with a fox, with a fish, on a dish, but not with horrible English.” Many students like Sam are willing to try anything once, but after years of constant disappointment, they are unwilling to give this subject another try. Frustrating homework, impossible warm-ups, and dreaded writing assignments make Englishimpossible. That is why English is the worst subject of all

Opener #2

Allusion ►►►►
Transition to thesis
Thesis ►►►►
(with two body ¶ points) / Throughout history people have been defeated by one small weakness. For Achilles, it was his heel. For the Trojans, it was a mad love of horses. One day people will read about the fall of children of this century. The reasonwill be simple. They were forced to take a dreaded school subject known asEnglish. With its overwhelming assignments and its complex ideas, English will surely be documented as the worst school subject.

Opener #3

Allusion ►►►►
Transition to thesis
Thesis ►►►►
(with two body ¶ points) / If you’re confused and you know it, you’re in English. If you’re angry and you know it, you’re in English. If you’re frustrated and you know it and your grades will surely show it, if you’re doomed and you know it, you’re in English. Does this sound familiar? It does to me because it describes my life each and every day in this academic nightmare. English is a complex, demanding class which does not make for a happy song in the life of young students.

Opener #4

Setting ►►►►
Transition to thesis
Thesis ►►►►
(with two body ¶ points) / Blinding lights glare against a cold tile floor. Pencils scratch, papers rustle, and nails are bitten. Hair twirls, knuckles crack, and fingers tap nervously. Most people would probably surmise I am thinking of an intense job interview or perhaps the final test in Navy Boot Camp, but they would be wrong. This dreaded even it much worse. Each and every day, innocent children are subjected to a torturous academic class called English. With its gruelingassignments and impossible tests, by far, English is the worst school subject.

Opener#5

Questions ►►►►
Transition to thesis
(with two body ¶ points)
Thesis ►►►► / Have you ever been mentally tortured? Have you ever gotten a nacho stuck in your throat? Have you ever wet your pants at an amusement park? Well, none of that comes close to the pain and embarrassment students endure during English class. Each and every day students are forced to trudge through impossible writing and grammar activities which could have negative long term effects. English is definitely the worst school subject.

Opener #6

Quote ►►►►
With supportive thought
Transition to thesis
Thesis ►►►►
(with two body ¶ points) / A. Wiseman once said, If one has a strategy, one is a step ahead of the rest.” Well, many children would benefit from at least one strategy that would help them survive the dreaded class called English. English is defined as a perplexing subject featuring a profusion of information to remember and often insignificant lessons. Due to the vast number of rules one is required to apply and impossible literary devices one is expected to interpret, it is easily and unequivocally the most abhorrent school subject.

Opener #7

Compare to
Opposites ►►►►
Transition to thesis
Thesis ►►►►
(with two body ¶ points) / Math is a subject filled with amazing formulas and challenging theorems. Science consists of enlightening experiments and valuable lessons. In general, middle school is overflowing with academic classes that offer children rich, rewarding experiences. One class, however, offers nothing of the sort. Because if its futile lessons and confusing concepts, English is the worst school subject.

Opener #8

Compare to
similar ►►►►
Transition to thesis
Thesis ►►►►
(with two body ¶ points) / Making it to the major leagues is not for everyone. Only paramount players need to even endeavor. Perfecting a duck shepherd pie is almost impossible for even the greatest chefs. Therefore, common cooks should not attempt. Just like the intricate requirements of athletics and cuisine, school encompasses its unfeasible specialties as well. Mastering grammar and writing are not meant for average students, and they should be expected to attempt such a task.