“O my Johnson and my Tom Rowe.”
or “Reflections on Victory at Kidderminster Victoria on 12th July 2015
(with apologies to Francis Thompson,1859 to 1907, whose poem recalls a match he watched in1878
between Lancashire and Gloucestershire)
The coach was ready and the rain was hissing,
And I, as usual, was the last one missing.
But safe and sound on the coach’s back row
Were Samuel Johnson and Thomas Rowe.
We reached Kidderminster in mist and murk
To find the groundsmen hard at work
Would it take spin? Would it bounce low?
It’s all the same to Johnson and Rowe.
Kidderminster’s famed for its carpets we hear,
Kimberley for cricketers, poets and beer.
Two of the cricketers about whom we crow,
Are Samuel Johnson and Thomas Rowe.
Casting a spell on each opponents’ ball
Would be mystical vibes from their Masonic Hall,
But more would be needed than mumbo jumbo
To bewitch young Sam and Thomas Rowe.
It would need more than trouser bottoms rolled up
To decide our destiny in this National Cup.
Not, not likely. No, never, no.
We get out magic from Johnson and Rowe.
Despite improved weather there were still hos and hums
Rain dampened benches gave us rain dampened bums.
But we didn’t care for things down below.
We’d got Sam Johnson and we’d got Tom Rowe.
King’s side was Levy, Gloves, Sav, JT,
Bacon, Ratcliffe, two Doms – Brown and Wheatley-
A team of action, a team of go,
Topped up, of course, with Johnson and Rowe.
They guessed the coin and play commenced.
Our boundary brigade quietened and tensed,
Not yet allowing confidence to show
In the abilities of Messrs. Johnson and Rowe.
Kidderminster made a breezy start
Enough to sow doubts in each Kimb’ly heart
Would it be too much to defeat this fine foe
Even with Sam Johnson and Rowe?
But we know our bowlers can ravage,
And soon Harry took a catch off Ben Savage.
The first wicket fallen, and do you know,
It didn’t involve either Johnson or Rowe
The break through was when their star’s wicket was taken,
Forced to play on a cracker from Bacon.
Their supporters think highly of Matthew Pardoe.
They hadn’t yet seen Johnson or Rowe.
By mid-afternoon the effect of good booze
Can make some unconcerned if we win or we lose.
But why should we need this alcoholic glow
When we have both Johnson and Rowe.
When Rookie paces the rope, it’s not a good time to jest.
He doesn’t want better, he always wants best.
So I never asked him how it would go.
I just left it to fate and Johnson and Rowe.
Now our fielding tightened, nicely and neatly,
Led by example from Dominic Wheatley.
And the home sides scoring started to slow
Below what we could expect from Johnson and Rowe.
Our bowlers shared the wickets. It looked like ‘job done’,
Then a late order batsman hit four short of a ton.
For a two three four target we’d need ‘quid pro quo’
From either Sam Johnson or from Tom Rowe.
The Institute innings stumbled at 39 for 2
We needed to settle down or we’d be in the poo
But recall what I’ve said apropos
The talents of Johnson and the same of Tom Rowe.
They came together, a few anxious stutterings,
Just a tinkle of boundary brigade mutterings,
Then their skills seemed to blossom and grow.
O my Johnson and O my Tom Rowe!
They delighted the crowd with some wonderful stuff
Pushing ones and twos was more than enough.
What a delight to see elegance in flow,
Thanks to young Samuel and Thomas Rowe.
All maidens would regret that they were spinster
If they had seen there at Kidderminster
The virile manliness on show
From Sam Johnson and Tom Rowe.
Thus victory was ours with five overs to spare,
And our two heroes still batting there.
So on them we must our praises bestow.
Thanks Sam Johnson, thanks Tom Rowe.
Beer was quaffed, our hearts were glad.
Then Gloves announced he’d soon be a dad
Without the assistance, as far as I know,
Of either Sam Johnson or of Tom Rowe.
The trip home was joyous, we were back not too late.
Time for a couple of pints in the Gate.
Then back home emboldened by booze
I woke up my wife to tell her the news.
No sooner had I lain down my head
Than I was enjoying a dream of three in a bed.
And the two who shared in my erotic to and fro?
Bloody Sam Johnson and bloody Tom Rowe.
Jim Dymond. July 2015.