Rare and wonderful things
A short play
By
Bruce Shearer
Melbourne
May 2013
4th Draft
Contact: Bruce Shearer
3 Young Street
Ivanhoe 3079
Australia
(613) 9499 1239
0409998112
email;
Bruce Shearer 2008
St.10Cast
Amber An 8 year old girl who can tap dance particularly well.
JadeAn 8 year old girl who can play the tuba
RubyAn 8 year old girl who can do the most marvelousKylie Minogue impersonations.
AmethystAn 8 year old girl who is a born mathematician.
PearlAn 8 year old girl who has a very good vocabulary and is good at telling jokes.
Mr RockThe trendy school teacher of Amber, Jade, Ruby, Amethyst and Pearl.
Setting
A suburban school ground and classroom.
Synopsis
Amber, Jade, Ruby, Amethyst and Pearl are all best friends. The group feels sad and lost when Pearl falls ill and is away from school. The girls plan a “Get Well Exhibition of Rare and Wonderful Things” to display for Pearl when she returns to school.
1Rare and wonderful things
Rare and wonderful things
(AMBER, JADE, PEARL, AMETHYST AND RUBY ARE ALL STANDING IN A ROW HOLDING HANDS.)
Together:We are all 8 years old.
Ruby:Actually, I’m 8 years and one month.
Jade:I’m 8 and a half, give or take a week.
Amber:7 years and 11 months.
Pearl: I’ll be 8 next week.
Amethyst:I am 8 years, two months, nine days, 12 hours, 39 minutes and 6 seconds old.
Jade:Amethyst is a born mathematician.
(AMBER, JADE, PEARL, AMETHYST AND RUBY ALL SMILE.)
Together:We are all in the same grade at school.
Grade Three B.
(AMBER PAINTS AN ENORMOUS B IN FRONT OF HER.)
Amber:The B stands for brilliant.
(RUBY TAKES UP A BRAVE STANCE.)
Ruby: It is an abbreviation for brave.
(JADE FLASHES A BEAUTIFUL SMILE.)
Jade: It is definitelyshort for beautiful.
(AMETHYST TAPS HER HEAD WISELY.)
Amethyst: I have no doubt it means brainy.
2Rare and wonderful things
(PEARL OPENS HER HANDS OUT WIDE.)
Pearl: For me itstands for bountiful.
Amber:Pearl has a very good vocabulary.
(MR ROCK THE TEACHER OF GRADE 3B WALKS UP TO MEET PEARL, AMETHYST, RUBY, AMBER AND JADE.)
Mr Rock. Good morning my rare gems.
Any new jokes Pearl?
(PEARL GIGGLES AWAY TO HERSELF.)
Pearl:I’m working on a good one.
Mr. Rock. Have you been dancing on any taps Amber?
(AMBER DANCES A FEW TAP DANCING STEPS.)
Amber:Just show me the tap and I’ll dance on it.
Mr. Rock: I can’t wait to hear some more tuba Jade.
(JADE DESPERATELY TRIES TO LIFT HER HEAVY TUBA.)
Jade:As long asI can lift it, I’ll play it.
Mr. Rock: What about those marvelousKylie Minogue impersonations Ruby?
(RUBY SINGS A LOUD DO RE MI.)
Ruby:I’ve got some new numbers in development.
(MR ROCK CHUCKLES.)
Mr. Rock: Still counting to 1 million Amethyst?
3Rare and wonderful things
(AMETHYST PAUSES AS SHE WORKS THROUGH SOME LARGE NUMBERS UNDER HER BREATH.)
Amethyst:That’s right, but I have to take an occasional break.
(MR ROCK, PEARL, AMETHYST, RUBY, AMBER AND JADEALL HAVE A GOOD LAUGH AFTER THIS. THEN PEARL, AMETHYST, RUBY, AMBER AND JADELINK ARMS AND WALK AROUND THE SCHOOLGROUND. THEY STRUGGLE TO GET THROUGH A NARROW DOORWAY WITH THEIR ARMS LINKED TOGETHER WHICH MAKES THEM ALL LAUGH ONCE AGAIN.
LIGHTS GO DOWN AND WHEN THEY COME UP, PEARL, AMETHYST, RUBY, AMBER AND JADEHAVE MADE AN ENORMOUS DAISY CHAIN.)
Ruby:There must be thousands of daisies.
Amethyst:There are Ruby, many thousands.
Jade:Amethyst, how many are there exactly?
Amethyst:8,562.
(AMBER GIGGLES AT THIS.)
Amber:Are you sure Amethyst?
Amethyst:I certainly am.
Pearl:She did count them all twice after all.
(PEARL, AMETHYST, RUBY, AMBER AND JADEALL LAUGH AND THEN CARRY THE ENORMOUS DAISY CHAIN TOWARDS MR ROCK WHO IS COMING TOWARDS THEM. THEY WIND IT AROUND HIM UNTIL MR ROCKIS COMPLETELY ENCASED IN THE GIANT DAISY CHAIN.)
Mr. Rock:Thanks girls, this is amazing!
Together:Glad you like it!
4Rare and wonderful things
(LIGHTS GO DOWN AND MUSIC DENOTES A PASSAGE OF TIME, THEN LIGHTS COME UP ONAMBER AND JADE, AND AMETHYST AND RUBY STANDING IN PAIRS BY THE GATE WITH A GAP IN THE MIDDLE WHERE PEARL WOULD HAVE BEEN.)
Amber:Where is Pearl?
(THE MORNING BELL RINGS IN THE BACKGROUND.)
Ruby:We have to wait for her.
(AMBER NODS HER HEAD IN AGREEMENT.)
Amber:Yes, we must.
Jade:She must be coming soon.
Amethyst:She’s 7 minutes and 45 seconds later than usual.
(AMBER AND JADE, AND AMETHYST AND RUBYWALK QUICKLY BACK TO CLASS IN PAIRS WITH A GAP IN THE MIDDLE WHERE PEARL WOULD HAVE BEEN. LIGHTS GO DOWN AND COME UP ON MR ROCK IN THEIR CLASSROOM TALKING TO HIS CLASS.)
Mr. Rock:Class, Pearl is very ill and will be way from school for the rest of the week.
Amber:(SIGHING)Oh.
Ruby:Goodness gracious.
Amethyst: What a pity.
5Rare and wonderful things
(JADE OPENS HER MOUTH TO SPEAK AND THEN CLOSES IT AGAIN AND JUST NODS HER HEAD SADLY. LIGHTS GO DOWN AND THEN COME UP ON AMBER AND JADE, AND AMETHYST AND RUBYEATING THEIR LUNCH.
AMBER SUDDENLY JUMPS UP AND TAP DANCES WITH GLEE AROUND THE OTHER GIRLS WHO LOOK ON IN WONDER, THEN SHE SHOUTS WITH EXCITEMENT.)
Amber:An exhibition!
(JADE, AND AMETHYST AND RUBYGET TO THEIR FEET.)
Why don’t we prepare and exhibition of rare and wonderful things for when Pearl comes back to school.
We can give her a wonderful surprise?
Jade:(SADLY)But we don’t have any rare and wonderful things.
Ruby:(EMPHATICALLY)Then we’ll just have to find some.
Amethyst:We’d better start looking, there’s less than 9,360 minutes to go until Pearlcomes back to school.
(AMBER AND JADE, AND AMETHYST AND RUBYBEGIN WALKING AROUND THE SCHOOLYARD SEARCHING FOR RARE AND WONDERFUL THINGS, WHILE LEAVING A GAP IN THEIR MIDST WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN OCCUPIED BY PEARL. THEY FIND THIS APPROACH RATHER SLOW AND DIFFICULT BECAUSE THEY KEEP BUMPING INTO TREES OR WALLS WITHOUT THEIR CENTRAL MEMBER. THEN AMBER HAS A REVOLUTIONARY IDEA.)
Amber:Why don’t we split up and look for some rare and wonderful things on our own?’
6Rare and wonderful things
(AMBER,JADE,AMETHYST AND RUBYALL STOP IN THEIR TRACKS AND JUAST LOOK AT ONE ANOTHER. THEY ARE QUIET FOR A VERY LONG TIME. THEY LOOK UPWARDS AND SIDEWARDS AND DOWNWARDS AT ONE ANOTHER, BUT NO-ONE CAN THINK OF ANY REASON WHY THEY SHOULDN’T SPLIT UP AND SEARCH ON THEIR OWN. AFTER A FEW MORE MOMENTSTHEY HURRY OFF IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS LOOKING WORRIED. LIGHTS GO DOWN AND COME UP ON AMBER,JADE,AMETHYST AND RUBY SCOURING THE SCHOOLYARD SEEKING RARE AND WONDERFUL THINGS. THEY LOOK UNDER, THEY LOOK INSIDE AND THEY LOOKON TOP OF, ALL SORTS OF NEW AND EXCITING THINGS THEY’VE NEVER REALLY NOTICED BEFORE.JADE IS CLAWLING AROUND ON THE GROUND WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS.)
Jade:So much is happening down on the ground
(JADE PUTS HER HEAD UP.)
I’ve seen so many ants, beetles, worms, caterpillars, and spiders.
I even saw a millipede.
That was so exciting.
If only Amethyst was here to help me count its legs.
Every timeI start counting it walks away and I have to start again.
(RUBYWITH A BUMP ON HER HEADWANDERS AROUND STARING UP INTO THE SKY.)
Ruby:I might have bumped into a few things, but I’ve seen some marveloussights.
7Rare and wonderful things
(RUBY GENTLY TOUCHES THE BUMP ON HER HEAD AND THEN HER FACE ERUPTS INTO A HUGE SMILE.)
Ruby:Two new birds’nestsand one even had a baby bird in it.
I saw a weather balloon, and a tennis ball on the roof of the shelter shed that we lost last year.
(AMBER WITH A SHERLOCK HOMES STYLE DETECTIVE’S HAT AND COAT SCOURS THE SCHOOL GROUND IN SEARCH OF MYSTERIES.)
Amber:I have sat outside the staffroom and the school office, and inside bushes and underneath benches, and listened very intently to many conversations.
(AMBER HOLDS OUT HER ARMS IN AMAZEMENT.)
I’ve learnt so many exciting secrets about love and sorrow, that I might write a novel.
(AMETHYSTWALKS AROUND THE SCHOOL WITH A RANGE OF COUNTING DEVICES, INCLUDING AN ABACUS, A CALCULATOR AND PEN AND PAPER.)
Amethyst:I have decided that it would be truly rare and wonderful to count the school.
(AMETHYSTIS A BIT WEARY AND SHE WIPES HER BROW.)
I’ve counted the teachers, the students, the books, the desks, the trees, and I was still busily counting all the other bits and pieces in the school when the week was over.
8Rare and wonderful things
(LIGHTS GO DOWN AND MUSIC DENOTES THE PASSAGE OF TIME. LIGHTS COME UP ON MR ROCKON MONDAY MORNING WHO HAS CLEARED A SPACE AT THE BACK OF THE CLASSROOM AND HUNG UP A LARGE SIGN READING ‘THE PEARL, GET WELL EXHIBITION OF RARE AND WONDERFUL THINGS’.AMBER, JADE, AMETHYST AND RUBYRUSH UP TO THE SIGN LOOKING CONCERNED.)
Ruby:I saw so many wonderful things, but I couldn’t bring the baby bird and the nest in here.
Jade:I found the most fantastic insects, but they were so happy I couldn’t bear to move them.
Amber:I’ve got all these juicy secrets I could tell, but I’m keeping them for my novel!
Amethyst:I’m still counting, and Pearl will be here any minute.
(AMBER, JADE, AMETHYST AND RUBYALL LOOK AT MR ROCK AND SCREAM.)
Together :WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
9Rare and wonderful things
(LIGHTS GO DOWN AND THEN COME UP WHEN PEARL WALKS INTO THE CLASSROOM AND IS MET BY AN ENORMOUS SHOUT OF ‘SURPRISE’ FROM THE WHOLE OF CLASS 2B. PEARL IS EVEN MORE SURPRISED BY A LARGE SIGN READING ‘THE PEARL, GET WELL EXHIBITION OR RARE AND WONDERFUL THINGS’, BUT SHE IS QUITE ASTONISHED WHEN SHE SEESAMETHYST LIFTING UP THE BOTTOM OF THE TUBA WHILE JADE PLAYS, RUBY SINGS AT THE TOP OF HER VOICE AND AMBER TAP DANCES ALONG.PEARL IS VERY HAPPY. PEARL WALKS OVER AND STANDS WITH HER FOUR FRIENDS.)
Mr. Rock:Now the fifth rare and wonderful thing is here and the exhibition is complete.
(RUBY, JADE, PEARL, AMETHYST AND AMBER STAND IN A ROW AND FEEL PARTICULARLY HAPPY.)