Program Information for Women

PROGRAM PARTICIPATION

Program participation

Program information for women

Information for women

You are receiving this information because your partner or ex-partner has had contact with[insert name of program]. Regardless of whether he hurt you physically or used some other form of violence against you, you are entitled to help and support.

All women and children have the right to:

·  live their lives freely, in safety and without fear

·  have information about their options and about services that can help

·  receive support in their journey to be safe and recover from violence

·  have legal protection to help them be safe.

Our program upholds these rights at all times. We believe that men who deny women these rights need to take responsibility for their actions and work to change, and we strongly believe that women and children are never to blame for men's behaviour.

This information sheet provides some basic information about our program.

What can the program achieve for my (ex)partner?

Very few men become completely nonviolent after participating in a program. Research shows that

·  some men will stop their physical violence and significantly reduce their abusive and controlling behaviour

·  some men will stop their violence but maintain some level of abusive and controlling behaviour

·  some men will continue their violence

·  some men will stop some forms of violence, but might increase others.

This means that there is no guarantee that your (ex)partner will change at all. It is best not to make decisions about your relationship based on your hopes that he will.

It is important that you take care of yourself and your children. Over the page are some phone numbers of women's services that can support you and provide you with information.

Children are almost always affected by family violence, even if they never hear or see it. So over the page, there are also some phone numbers for services that can help your children to recover from their experience.

How does the program operate?

In our program, men are expected to attend a group weekly for at least 20 weeks, with breaks during the school holidays.

The sessions are held every Tuesday night, from 7pm until 9pm.

Men are expected to attend every session, and to inform us if they cannot attend.

Our two counsellors invite men to reflect on their behaviour and learn ways to relate non-violently.

What if he breaches?

If a program participant breaches an ADVO (Apprehended Domestic Violence Order) or another court order, we will report this to the relevant authority (Police or Corrective Services).

What support can I get?

You can have as much support as you need, on your terms.

Our partner support worker can help you to make a safety plan and talk with you about how the violence has affected you and your children. She can link you with services that provide accommodation, legal and financial advice, and counselling. She can also have ongoing contact with you if you want.

We understand that women's needs often change over time. You can change the arrangements you have with us at
any time. For example, if you are happy with the support you are getting from friends or family, you might not feel like
you need us. But if you are feeling scared or worried or stressed, and need some more professional support, we can
be there.

If there's a service we don't provide directly, we can help you to find it and tap into it. If you want us to, we can even provide the other service with copies of our file notes and forms, so that you don't have to tell your whole story all
over again.

How do I contact the program?

Please call us on XX XXXX XXXX. If you are concerned for your immediate safety, call police on 000.

Program information for men

Program information for men

The focus of our program

The group is for men who wish to stop acting violently toward their female partners and/or children. By violence we mean any action which injures, scares or intimidates them and makes them limit what they say or do around you. Violence is any action that makes your partner or child feel like they need to tiptoe around you and not upset you.

The group is about YOU. It is about YOU taking responsibility to stop acting violently. The group is NOT about solving your relationship difficulties. It is NOT about changing other people or comparing yourself to other people. It is about you taking responsibility to stop being violent in your relationships, regardless of what pressures or difficulties you may be experiencing.

As the group is not about your relationship difficulties, questions of blame or who is in the right or wrong in any circumstance will not be important. What will be important is looking at the thoughts, feelings and actions that were a part of your being violent and what thoughts, feelings and actions are a part of being non-violent.

An important aspect of stopping your violent actions will be developing a greater appreciation of your partner’s and children’s experience of your use of violence, including beginning to understand what this has meant for her and the children and the effects of your actions on these relationships

The group will not be concentrating on explanations for violence. It will be looking more at the effects of violence on others, on relationships and on yourself. The ideas and support generated in the group will provide an opportunity for you to develop a non-violent way of life. The work to cease your use of violence is up to you.

The process of the group will be discussion, with some exercises providing opportunities for you to experience other ways of doing things.

We are also strongly committed to helping you make your own life better by stopping your use of violence. The group will help you to explore what’s important for you in your life and for your current or future relationships, and how developing a non-violent way of life can help you to achieve this. This group is very much about your happiness and fulfilment, as well as the safety of your family and others.

Our program will help you to work towards having safe and respectful relationships in the future. This means:

·  recognising that you have hurt people you care about

·  acknowledging that you have used violence and taking full responsibility for all of those actions

·  understanding the effects of your violence on others, particularly on women and children

·  using this understanding to make safer choices

·  developing the ability to read yourself, so that you can choose to act in different, more respectful ways

·  looking at things from other people’s perspectives

·  looking at how your ideas about manhood might have made your family feel unsafe and not respected.

Key principles

The key principles that guide this program for men are that:

·  the safety of partners, children and others is paramount.

·  men are responsible for their actions

·  a man is most likely to cease his use of violence or abuse if he takes full responsibility for his actions

·  we are answerable to women and children.

The program will strive at all times and in every aspect to be respectful and non-abusive. Some of the things we discuss may feel uncomfortable, due to the very nature of the group, but we make every effort to ensure that the group is a place where men can feel respected in their efforts to get violence out of their lives.

Limited confidentiality

Our program will respect and support your efforts and commitment to:

·  work on stopping your use of abusive and violent behaviour towards female partners and/ or children

·  work for the greater safety of your partner and children

·  be respectful of yourself and others.

We need to be respectful to all the people who are affected by our work. We also have legal responsibilities. This means that there are some matters that we cannot keep confidential.

·  We will report incidents of violence which might be considered as criminal to police and any other relevant authorities (such as probation and parole officers).

·  We will provide feedback to your partner or former partner and convey any concerns we may have about your behaviour and attitudes, especially if we believe these might affect her safety or the safety of children.

·  If it seems warranted from the point of view of safety, we will provide information about or relevant to your use of violence to any services that are supporting your (ex)partner and children.

·  If it seems that any counselling you are receiving is inconsistent with the principles of our program, or if it would be beneficial for your counsellor to know about our program, we will contact them to discuss our work with you. We may also share with them information relevant to your use of violence and/or your (ex)partner’s and children’s safety.

If we believe that it would be safe to do so, we will attempt to inform you before taking any of the steps outlined above.

Attendance

You are required to attend every session of the group program.

If you miss more than two sessions without prior arrangement with the program and without good reason, your participation in the program will be reviewed.

Partner contact

Our work with you needs to be respectful to all members of your family, and sensitive to their needs. We need to understand what is important for your (ex)partner and children, from their point of view. This means that we will attempt to make contact with your partner on a regular basis. We will hold everything they say in confidence; we will not tell you anything about what they have said.

We do not provide family or couple counselling, because these are not effective when there is the use of violence. The focus of your work with us will be about working with you on stopping your use of abusive and violent behaviour.

Keeping your partner and children safe

You need to make every effort to not use violence of any kind during your participation in the program. If you do use any form of violence, please report it to us as soon as possible (do not wait for the next group session; please call us on XX XXXX XXXX)

Throughout your participation in the program, if you engage in disrespectful or abusive behaviours towards other group members or the facilitators, your ongoing participation in the program will be reviewed.

Please inform program staff of any firearms that you own or have access to. They will work with you to arrange for these to be held in safe custody for the duration of the program. (If you need them for your work, our staff will help you to make alternative safety arrangements.)

Participation agreement

You are required to sign an agreement in order to participate in our program. This agreement will be explained to you in detail before you sign it.

Information sharing

The program can only provide a letter of attendance to a court if requested by the court. We will not provide reports or assessments to a court, unless your actions are criminal or involve child protection concerns. You must provide us with copies of any Court Orders that you are subject to. These include retraining orders, Family Law Court and Children’s Court orders. You must inform of program staff of breaches of any of these orders should they occur.

If there is information about you that is relevant to your use of violence and the safety of others, program staff may exchange this with your probation and parole officer (if relevant) and the child protection authorities (if relevant).

Program staff are not responsible for you meeting the orders of other organisations.

Participant agreement

I understand that

·  program staff offer me support, encouragement and challenge, and are working in the interests of myself, my partner and my children

·  the basic program consists of (insert details of the program—number of sessions, details of different phases of the program, what is required to move to the next level, etc)

·  I will be required to attend at least (insert number) of group sessions, at least (insert number) of individual sessions, and to participate in the program for at least (insert minimum length of time)

·  my progress through the program will be reviewed on an ongoing basis, and depending on these reviews I might be asked to participate in the program for a longer period of time

·  what my partner and/or ex-partner says to the program workers will remain confidential and will not be communicated to me

·  the program can only provide a letter of attendance to a court if requested by the court, and that it will not provide reports or assessments to a court, unless my actions have been or are of a criminal nature or involve child
protection concerns

·  if I miss more than two sessions without prior arrangement with the program and without good reason, my participation in the program will be reviewed

·  throughout my participation in the program, if I engage in disrespectful or abusive behaviours towards other group members or the facilitators, my participation in the program will be reviewed.

Contact with my partner/s and (ex)partners

I agree to provide contact details of any people with whom I have had an intimate relationship in the last two years (or in some circumstances longer); and any woman I have had children with (even if prior to the past two years).