“Taking a Step to Forgive Real Hurts”

Untangling Relationships Fall Series – part 10

Doug Holmes (Twitter: @dougholmesclc)

October 23, 2016

Matthew 18:21-22 (TLB) – Peter… asked, “Sir, how often should I forgive a brother who sins against me? Seven times?”

“No!” Jesus replied, “seventy times seven!”

Forgiving Is Not:

Reuniting or Reconciling

Forgetting

Minimizing, Condoning, Excusing or Rationalizing

Forgiveness Happens Inside the Forgiver!

Romans 12:18 – If it is possible, as far as it depends on you,

live at peace with everyone.

How to Step toward Forgiving:

Receive God’s Forgiveness Personally

1 John 1:8-9 – ...If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us…

Acknowledge the Pain of Being Wronged

Genesis 50:19-20 – But Joseph said to them, “…You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…”

Place Blamewhere It Should Be Placed

2 Timothy 4:14-15 – Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him…

Fallacies About Blaming

The “Who Am I to Judge” Fallacy

The “Blame-Share” Fallacy

The “To Understand Is to Never Blame” Fallacy

Choose to Be Healed over Remaining a Victim

Isaiah 61:1-4 – “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me… to heal the brokenhearted…”

Choose to Get Free over Remaining Bitter or Resentful

Hebrews 12:15 – Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives.

Choose to Trust God over Forcing Justice

Psalm 37:5-11 – Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him… and wait patiently for him; …A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found. But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace.

Romans 12:19 – Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

Choose to Live on Purpose over Distraction

Philippians 3:13-14 – But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me…

“Why Forgive if They Never Say ‘I’m Sorry’”

It is Good for Me – “Permission” Isn’t Needed

Forgiveness Is Not Reconciliation

Acts 15:36-39 – Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing.” Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company.

2 Timothy 4:9-11 – Do your best to come to me quickly, for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus to Dalmatia. Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.

2 Timothy 4:14-15 – Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done. You too should be on your guard against him.

John 2:24 – But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, for He knew all men.

I Won’t Give My Freedom/Potential to Them Again

I Desire Freedom & Trusting God

Genesis 50:19-20 – But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

Next Week – Untangling Relationships, pt. 11:

“The Miracle of Connection –

How Spiritual Networking Will Change the World”

Suggested Prayer: “Loving Father God, Thank You for the relationships in my life. With Your help I want to begin ‘untangling’ them. I want my relationship with You to grow through Jesus Christ, my Lord & Savior Who lives & reigns with You & the Holy Spirit, one God, forever. Amen.”