Practice Page

CTFAR Model

Spin Cycles

Practice Page

Categorize the following for effective coaching. Some have multiple answers, but pick the one you would use:

I hate my job / CTFAR / There is no time / CTFAR
My husband left me / CTFAR / I am too busy / CTFAR
My husband makes me mad / CTFAR / I have so much to do
/ CTFAR
My sister is disrespectful / CTFAR / My son is failing math / CTFAR
I am in debt / CTFAR / I lost my job / CTFAR
I don’t have enough
/ CTFAR
/ I want a job that pays 100k a year / CTFAR
I can’t leave my job / CTFAR / I want to lose 50 pounds / CTFAR
I weigh 300 pounds / CTFAR / I want to stop overeating / CTFAR
I hate my body
/ CTFAR
/ I want to eliminate my debt / CTFAR
I am sad / CTFAR / I need to find a job / CTFAR
I am depressed / CTFAR / I feel stupid / CTFAR
I feel fat / CTFAR / I am mad at him / CTFAR
I feel like a failure / CTFAR / I hate her / CTFAR
I’ve had a hard life / CTFAR / I am 50 years old / CTFAR
I can’t keep doing this / CTFAR / I am single / CTFAR
She doesn’t like me / CTFAR / I am losing my house / CTFAR
She gives me the creeps / CTFAR / I am sick / CTFAR
I overeat / CTFAR / My kids are mad at me / CTFAR
I overspend / CTFAR / I am mad at my kids / CTFAR
I can’t save / CTFAR / I am frustrated with myself / CTFAR
I don’t exercise / CTFAR

Feelings List

Page 1

Intensity of Feelings / AFRAID / WEAK / STRONG / GUILTY
HIGH / Terrified / Helpless / Powerful / Sorrowful
Horrified / Hopeless / Aggressive / Remorseful
Scared Stiff / Beat / Gung Ho / Ashamed
Petrified / Overwhelmed / Potent / Unworthy
Fearful / Impotent / Super / Worthless
Panicky / Small / Forceful
Exhausted / Proud
Drained / Determined
MEDIUM / Scared / Dependent / Energetic / Sorry
Frightened / Incapable / Capable / Lowdown
Threatened / Lifeless / Confident / Sneaky
Insecure / Tired / Persuasive
Uneasy / Rundown / Sure
Shocked / Lazy
Insecure
Shy
MILD / Apprehensive / Unsatisfied / Secure / Embarrassed
Nervous / Under Par / Durable
Worried / Shaky / Adequate
Timid / Unsure / Able
Unsure / Soft / Capable
Anxious / Lethargic
Inadequate

Feelings List

Page 2

Intensity of Feelings / HAPPY / SAD / ANGRY / CONFUSED
HIGH / Elated / Depressed / Furious / Bewildered
Excited / Disappointed / Enraged / Trapped
Overjoyed / Alone / Outraged / Troubled
Thrilled / Hurt / Aggravated / Desperate
Exuberant / Left Out / Irate / Lost
Ecstatic / Dejected / Seething
Fired Up / Hopeless
Delighted / Sorrowful
Crushed
MEDIUM / Cheerful / Heartbroken / Upset / Disorganized
Up / Down / Mad / Foggy
Good / Upset / Annoyed / Misplaced
Relieved / Distressed / Frustrated / Disoriented
Satisfied / Regret / Agitated / Mixed Up
Content / Hot
Disgusted
MILD / Glad / Unhappy / Perturbed / Unsure
Content / Moody / Uptight / Puzzled
Satisfied / Blue / Dismayed / Bothered
Pleasant / Sorry / Put Out / Uncomfortable
Fine / Lost / Irritated / Undecided
Mellow / Bad / Touchy / Baffled
Pleased / Dissatisfied / Perplexed

Now Feeling Worksheet

What am I feeling now?

Where is this feeling in my body?

What color is this feeling?

Is this feeling hard or soft?

Is this feeling fast or slow?

How does this feeling make me want to react?

Why am I feeling this?

What is the thought or belief that is causing me to have this feeling?

Top Three Feelings

On a daily basis what are your three most common feelings?

Why do you think you have these feelings on a daily basis?

What do you think this says about you and your life?

Are you content with these feelings on a regular basis? Yes or no? ______

What would need to happen for you to change these feelings?

What would you like your top three feelings to be?

How do you believe your life would be different if you lived from the feelings you want instead of the feelings you have?

Priorities Worksheet

Make a list of your top five priorities in order.

Why did you put them in this order? Why is your #1 priority so important to you?

Are you currently living in line with these priorities? Think about what you did yesterday, does it reflect the order of these priorities?

Are these priorities in line with your outcomes? Does anything need to change in order to align them better? What?

Joy Worksheet

What are your top five sources of joy?

How do you feel about this list?

Do you need to diversify your joy more?

What would you like your top source of joy to be?

In what ways can you create joy internally? Give two examples.

Self-Appreciation Worksheet

Make a list of all the things you like and appreciate about yourself. They can be very small things or big things – just please get at least 12 things.

10.

11.

12.

PRE-WORK QUESTIONS:

Ideas to Think About

Why did you hire me?

Got an email to try out free coaching. I have issues with addiction with food and compulsive spending. I find I get depressed easily and I know it is my thinking and have read a ton of self-help stuff but I have a hard time doing the work especially on my own. So I guess I need some direction and a little push to help me move in the right direction.

What do you hope to accomplish within this program?

Honestly, not really sure. I am not sure what all this class involves. I would like to be more positive and less negative with my thinking. To stop myself before spending or eating compulsively.

Do you feel now as if you will succeed at this program?

Not really sure. I hope so.

Are you willing to try all the exercises and homework? (Especially the ones you have resistance to?)

Yes.

What is your biggest fear?

Social situations around people I am uncomfortable around.

PRE-WORK QUESTIONS:

10 Major Events

Write down 5 major positive events in your life and 5 major negative events.

Positive Events:

1. Had my kids

2. Finished college

3. Bought 2 houses since I was 25

4. I get to work from home

5. Worked at Disney World when I was in college

Negative Events:

1. When my Husband was laid off a couple years ago

2. I do not get along with my mom

3. When my work makes me go back to the office occasionally—commute 1 hour-hate it

4. I am uncomfortable around my husband’s family and we have been together 12 years. I hate family functions. I feel so self conscious and insecure. Family vacation at the river with his family.

5. Spend more than I earn consistently very stressful but feel I cannot stop.

PRE-WORK QUESTIONS:

“Good for You to Know” Questions

What ARE you willing to sacrifice to change your life?

Not sure???

What AREN’T you willing to sacrifice to change your life?

Not sure?

Would anyone in your life be upset if you changed?

No, I think they might be happy if I was less annoyed in life.

On a scale of 1-10, how important is it for you to make changes in your life? 10

What will happen if you don’t change? What will it cost you?

I will continue to be miserable and negative and angry about things. I will stay overweight and broke. I will stay self conscious and uncomfortable around others. This causes me to hide and feel fearful.

PRE-WORK QUESTIONS:

“Think About This” Questions

What is the most upsetting issue pressing on you now?

I spend too much money. I am constantly trying to get the high I get from shopping every day. Spend excessive time shopping and figuring out what I want driving to numerous stores etc…wastes tons of time and energy. But I keep doing it.

What do you fear about this situation?

Something major will happen and I will not have the money to cover it and will be found out and will be devastated that I cannot control things anymore.

How do you currently manage stress?

Yoga, exercise, read (although buying books is one of my addictions so books kind of create stress but I love them).

How much joy do you currently create in your life?

Not enough. Very little. I am constantly is “go” anxiety mode.

What gives your life meaning?

Spirituality

Do you believe you are living the life you are meant to live?

What do you want other people to know about you?

I do not know???

PRE-WORK

Name:

Why are you interested in coaching?

What do you hope to accomplish with this coaching?

Do you feel as if you will succeed at achieving your desired result?

Are you willing to try all the exercises and homework? (Especially the ones you have resistance to?)

What is your biggest fear in your life?

PRE-WORK

Write down 5 major positive events in your life and 5 major negative events.

Positive Events:

Negative Events:

PRE-WORK

What is the thing you most want to change in your life?

What ARE you willing to sacrifice to change your life?

What AREN’T you willing to sacrifice to change your life?

Would anyone in your life be upset if you changed?

On a scale of 1-10, how important is it for you to make changes in your life?

What will happen if you don’t change? What will it cost you?

PRE-WORK

What is the most upsetting issue pressing on you now?

What do you fear about this situation?

How do you currently manage stress?

How much joy do you currently create in your life?

What gives your life meaning?

Do you believe you are living the life you are meant to live?

What do you want other people to know about you?

Circumstance Help for Coaches

QUESTIONSthat lead to circumstance coaching:

What is going on in your life?
Tell me about the people in your life?
What part of your life do you want to talk about?
What do you want to change that you can’t?
What do you wish was different in your life?

CIRCUMSTANCESthat clients think hurt (that don’t):

People dying.
Childhood abuse.
The past and anything that happened in it.
People being mean or rude.
Having no money.
Getting a divorce.
Losing their job.
Weighing a certain amount.
Not being able to get pregnant.
Being single.

Separating Out the Facts

Describe a stressful or painful situation you are currently dealing with. Describe it in detail:

Now list just the facts of the situation. (Facts can be proven with factual evidence.)

Now your opinions and thoughts about these facts:

How is your added opinion/interpretation causing you to feel?

Can you see how your interpretation of the facts is why you feel the way you do, and not the facts themselves?

Find Circumstances to Coach

From real client sample:

“I have no passion for my daily work whatsoever. I want to wake up with purpose and be helpful to others, look forward to my day instead of dreading it.I don't have enough money to live comfortably. Due toa lifetime ofchoices and some unforeseen circumstances, I live month to month only paying bills with little to no money left over.I work almost every hour of the day. When I'm not working, I'm sleeping. I want my life back...time for myself, with my children, with my sweetheart, and with my friends. And probably most importantly, I'm ready to quit kicking myself around for choices I made out of love or what I thought wasbest at the timethat turned out to be not so hot.”

List all the facts (only) you find in the above email:

What is the circumstance?

What thought does the circumstance trigger?

What do you feel when you think this thought?

How do you act when you feel this way?

What is the result of this action?

How does the result prove the original thought?

What is a better-feeling thought to choose concerning this circumstance?

A Letter to My “Pain Causer”

Writing a letter to someone who you think is the cause of your pain is a good way to find negative thoughts that you are choosing to believe. Write the letter and let all of your emotions surface. Then reread it and see what you learn about yourself.

Write a letter to your pain causer using the following format.

Dear ______,

I am angry because…

I am sad because…

I wish…

I am sorry that…

I love you because…

A Letter to My Past Self

Write a letter to your past self-using the following format.

This is another wonderful tool for uncovering negative thought patterns and beliefs. Be willing to allow the emotions to surface.

Dear ______,

I am angry because…

I am sad because…

I wish…

I am sorry that…

I love you because…

Thought Guidelines

How to create thoughts to support and inspire desired action:

Once you have the feeling that drives the action, you need to come up with thoughts that genuinely create that feeling.
Brainstorm possible thoughts with your clients. Think about another person who already takes the desired action and imagine how they think.
Test the thoughts with your clients for believability. How will you know if your client believes the thought? (How they feel.)
Find the thought that they believe and that creates the feeling most strongly. (Do not assume you know which thought this is. It is very personal.)
Teach the client to practice the new thought:
Write it down.
Put it on a sticky.
Say it all the time out loud and to yourself.
Seek evidence (scanning) for it. How is this thought true? Prove it. Write down the proof.
Take massive action to create evidence to prove it true.
Note any contradictory thoughts that attempt to disprove it and work those as well.
Repractice. Remind. Choose what to think.

Finding a New Thought

Page 1

What is your current painful thought?

Why are you choosing to believe it?

Is there any part of this thought that is not factual? (Can you prove it?)

What part of this thought can be disproven with evidence?

What would you say to a small child thinking this thought?

Can you change this thought by changing a few of the words to make the feeling it causes less intense? Try it here.

Finding a New Thought

Page 2

Write down three better-feeling thoughts that you truly believe:

When you plug this new thought into the self-coaching model, what changes?

Thought:

Feeling:

Action:

Result:

How would your life change if you changed this one thought?

What evidence do you have for this new thought already? What evidence can you take action to create?

New Religion

Write down 5 beliefs you want to adopt on this journey. Look at these beliefs often and find ways to prove them true in your life.

(Example:I believe that I happen to my days, they do not happen to me.)

New Evidence I Have and Can Create:

Questions for Clients

What is your ultimate goal in working with me as your coach?
What are you most worried about?
What are your questions for me before we get started?
What is your area of most frustration in your life?
What is the worst part of your life?
Tell me about your current level of success.
Describe times when you are mean to yourself during the day.
When are you most likely to feel negative emotion?
Tell me about some of the goals you have.
Do you believe you will achieve those goals?
What have your times of most struggles taught you?
What is perfect about your life now?
Tell me about the last time you screwed up with fascination, not judgment.
What are your top five most painful thoughts?
Do you know the difference between a circumstance and a thought?
Do you know what causes your feelings?
Do you know what causes you to feel negative emotion?
When I don’t know something I…
I feel smart when…
I feel stupid when…
If you could make someone else change their behavior –who would it be
and why?

The Power of a Better Question

The following are some dead end questions your clients might ask themselves. Recognize and help them change these questions. Questions are always answered with thoughts. Powerful questions create good thoughts and ultimately good results. Ineffective questions lead your clients through a negative cycle and create negative results.

DEAD END QUESTIONS
What should I do?
Why can’t I start?
What is wrong with me?
Why am I still______?
How am I going to get through this?
Why do I always feel like this?
Why did they do that to me?
What did I do to deserve this?
What will they think of me?
How long will it be this way?
When is it going to get better?
Why is it taking so long?
Why is this happening to me?
Why haven’t I learned this yet?
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Why am I so dumb?
Why amI so fat?
Why am I so broke?
Why can’t I get it together?
Why can’t she______?
Why won’t they______? / POWERFUL QUESTIONS
What is perfect about this?
What is the thought causing this?
What do I need to believe?
How do I want to feel?
What are they thinking that makes them do that?
What is funny about this?
How can we make this more fun?
How can I create what I want?
What can I give?
What can I learn from this?
What is the solution to this problem?
Why am I so lucky?
What’s the good news?
What do you make that mean?

Primary Question Worksheet

List your primary question here. This is a question you ask yourself over and over all day in order to feel good or inspired, for example, “How can I make losing weight more fun?”

Answer this question positively in three different ways.

Where could you keep this primary question so you would see it and ask it multiple times per day?

Can you identify any negative questions you have used in the past that you would like to eliminate? (e.g., “Why can’t I stop being depressed?”)