Portia De Rossi: How I Beat Anorexia

PORTIA DE ROSSI: HOW I BEAT ANOREXIA

This is a good opportunity for me to say, "Do as I say, not as I do," because I've had firsthand experience with being caught up in the whole Hollywood body thing. When I got the job on Ally McBeal, it was because I was healthy and attractive at my natural weight. But every single day, you're basically in fittings, constantly being measured. Plus, I thought by losing weight, it would be one less thing I had to think about-when it came to award shows, I didn't have to worry about if I would fit into a sample size. I got caught up trying to maintain that. I would eat 300 calories a day-a lot of Jell-O and no-sugar everything, of course. I was also doing Pilates, weight-training, circuit training; over lunch, I would run on my treadmill in my dressing room with a fan on my face so I wouldn't sweat my makeup off.

I realized something was drastically wrong when I stepped on the scale at the end of 1999 and saw 82 lbs. It became a struggle just to feel good. Then I went back home to Australia, and my brother and mother said, "You're going to die." It really woke me up; I had to do something, or I was going to lose everything. I went to a counselor and saw it for what it was-an eating disorder.

Gradually I increased the amount of food I ate. Everything I put in my mouth, my body clung to in gratitude. It took four years, but I remember waking up one morning and thinking, "Oh my God. My first thought isn't 'What did I eat last night?'" Now I never, ever put restrictions on food. I stopped exercising for the sake of losing weight, and I don't go on the scale. I don't really regret much in my life, but I will never get the time back I spent worrying what the scale said.