Poison Words of Condemnation

Affectionately known as the “should sheet”

Tactics to battle shame & guilt

The kingdom of heaven is within. The kingdom of heaven suffers violence. The violent take it by force. The kingdom, or dominion, is internal, and it is in jeopardy. What is in jeopardy is my peace of mind. There is a powerful adversary, roaming about, seeking who he may devour. My attempts to take the throne of self protection will open up the door to the adversary. I have, in effect, made a judgement in my heart that God has not been effective in protecting me, “my OK-ness”, or the way life will go so I have now taken this predicament into my own hands.

Objective:

Learn how to take back the territory that Satan has stolen.

Learn how to identify the attack of the enemy upon our peace of mind and heart.

Learn how to access the One who said that he would be our ever-present help in time of need. LEARN HOW TO TRUST GOD to fulfil the promises of the scriptures, namely the intention behind the indwelling Holy Spirit.

Principal:

The enemy of your soul is out to steal from us.

One of the main ways that he steals from us is through the areas in our heart that experience insecurity.

These insecurities, or “dis-ease” are typically seen in three areas. Insecure about:

How life will go
Stability of relationships (acceptable)
My OK-ness, my abilities, my appropriateness

As fallible human beings, what we suffer from more than anything is a lack of information. We would not be insecure in any way if we had enough information.

Fortunately, Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit, our comforter, our confidant, who has all of the answers, and promisesus that he will teach us and remind us of all things. This, he said, would be better than having Him with us in the flesh, because he would be dwelling with us every minute of every day.

In other words, any time that we find ourselves experiencing insecurity in any way, we are able to go to Him for more information.

God’s Tactics:

We can ask Him for the truth that will counteract the tactics of the enemy.

Satan wants to steal our peace. Jesus said my peace I give you. The problem with this arrangement is we must choose to go to Him, as the provider of all that we want and need. We must also choose to believe the words that he speaks to our heart. In a very literal way, Jesus wants to give us all that we need. What our insecure heart is in need of is more information. What our insecure heart needs to hear is a rehma word, to dispel the fear and doubt from our heart, and return us to a place of peace, security, and well-being (self-esteem).

Satan’s Tactics: Steal … as much and as frequently as we will let him

Satan is ruthless in his attempts to steal our peace, security, and well-being (self-esteem).

Being fallible human beings, Satan is quite effective at stealing our peace, precisely because we are not perfect. By a strategy of low-grade, almost subconscious dialogue, Satan runs incessant monologues of fears, doubts, criticisms, condemnation and indictments of shame.

*** Watch out for these poison words of condemnation. They are intended to cause us to doubt our OK-ness. ****

The accuser speaks words that we may think are our own thoughts and they sound something like this:

I am feeling stressed/insecure. I am not positive what is expected here to be

able to achieve/retain OK-ness, but whatever is required, I’m pretty sure that:

…I am not it.

…don’t have what it takes.

… I will find that I am in the wrong.

Without the help of Jesus, we attempt to avoid these dreadful feelings the best we can.

“I am feeling slightly insecure/ stressed, therefore I should…______”

We try to protect ourselves by identifying all of the behaviours, attitudes, and beliefs that are necessary to quiet these voices of accusation within us. The problem is though we may be able to quiet those voices for a little while, we are not able to silence them completely. With every infraction of our self-imposed standards of approval comes a new wave of fear and doubt. The standards it seems are never static, and we are never without the gnawing suspicion that we have missed something along the way. That when things go wrong, there is a better than average chance that somehow it’s my fault.

Our Tactics: Learn the truth

We have an awesome opportunity to learn the truth behind the scripture “It is not by might (works) and not by power (self-will) that this battle will be won (paraphrased), but by my Spirit says the Lord.

Again, the problem with this arrangement is that before God is able to act mightily on our behalf, we are required to make a choice. We must choose to go to Him, as the provider of all that we want and need. When we made the choice to protect ourselves and listen to the “shoulds” we in effect made the choice not to war Satan’s tactics of dis-ease in the spirit, by the power of the Holy Spirit that dwells within us. In order for us to regain our inner peace, we must choose to rethink our decision to protect ourselves, we must repent and assume a drastic 180 degree repositioning. Instead of being out there in front fighting our own battle of righteousness, we find ourselves planted directly behind the Grace of God.

The Grace of God quenches the fiery darts of the enemy. God’s plan defeats the fiery darts of fears, doubts, criticisms, condemnation and indictments of shame in two ways.

In God’s plan, His grace defeats false guilt and insecurity by speaking healing words of truth.
In God’s plan, His grace defeats legitimate guilt by speaking words of redemption.

Rather than many, many imperatives, that continually intimidate us, we are able to function from a place of peace as we seek Him to lead us into paths of righteousness In God’s plan we have only three imperatives. We must choose to seek Him. We must choose to listen to Him. We must choose to believe the words that he speaks to our heart.

Our Participation:

I am felling really stressed about this deadline from the office….

I feel like such a jerk. I should have planned my workload much better. I knew that I was supposed to work last week and I didn’t. If I would have planned better I could have got that bonus for finishing the project early. Now I‘ve got to work all night, because I need to have this on the boss’s desk before anyone else turns theirs in.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda,

Needta, Gotta, Aughta,

SUPPOSEDTA

Avoid these Poison Words of Condemnation

They Are Sent By The Enemy, Meant To Destroy You

Scenario One - Driven Self-talk:

Our Participation with the enemy (My attempt to protect myself in my own strength):

I am felling really stressed about this deadline from the office….

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda,

Needta, Gotta, Aughta,

SUPPOSEDTA

Being my own saviour, I take the place of Jesus & figure out what need to happen to maintain/ save/protect my OK-ness. I have taken the throne of self protection. My attempts will distance me from relationship and fail in it’s mission in the end.

Our Participation with the saviour (attempts to call on our redeemer):

I SHOULDA ______(Woulda, Coulda, Needta, Gotta, Aughta, Supposta)

(“I shoulda worked harder.”)

Now I feel ______(ashamed, bad, wrong, guilty)

Re:(Spending “Jesus time” or resting time. Because that looks like I am a bad and lazy leader.)

Because I’m afraid of their opinion of me. I am afraid that she will judge me as: ______

( “I don’t work enough.”, I’m Lazy” )

Now I needta ______

**** If I am able to repent and go to God, He has the perfect fix, and he holds all the answers.

God, Who is, in his nature and name, Grace, has all the answers. He always says, “That’s OK”.

GRACE says

that’s OK

I can fix it.

I can fix the dilemma…. which is ______. (The thing that has gone all wrong, and now they are upset.)

I can fix your heart too….that feels ______. (The heart that feels very guilty and ashamed, and fears disapproval.)

Listening for Gods take on the situation.

Grace’s Rhema answer to:

“Am I/will I ‘blow it’ here?”

______

Does this mean that I am bad or wrong?

Rhema:

“This issue feels big in my heart. Jesus what am I afraid of?”

______

Rhema:

“Jesus, can you show me where I have felt like this before?”

______

Jesus, I am asking you to take this pain and fear out of my heart?

Equipping: Lord what words should I use / what should I do, the next time that this happens, that would honour me and honour them? ______(win / win)

Scenario Two – Others Behaviour Affects Me:

Control through manipulation:

“They (______) are having a negative emotion all over me!!! Their emotion is intended to control me. Their negative emotions are intending to manipulate my behavior. Now I feel ashamed (bad/wrong) and/or guilty. Therefore I should…

You have about fifteen seconds to choose your response, and there are only two choices.

(A)Protect myself by figuring out what I must do now.

(B)Go directly to God, who is my protector, for his help and guidance.

I SHOULDA ______(Woulda, Coulda, Needta, Gotta, Aughta, Supposta)

I feel responsible/guilty:

Re:(IE That I accidentally broke that vase and now they are so mad at me.)

Now I feel ______(ashamed, bad, wrong, guilty)

Because I’m afraid of their opinion of me: ______( “I am clumsy and useless.”)

God, who is Grace Itself, always has the same response to our cries for help:

If I am able to repent and go to God, He has the perfect fix, and he holds all the answers.

God, Who is, in his nature and name, Grace, has all the answers. He always says, “That’s OK”.

GRACE says

That’s OK

I can fix it.

I can fix the dilemma. (The thing that has gone all wrong, and now they are upset)

I can fix your heart too. (The heart that feels very guilty and ashamed, because of their anger)

Listening for Gods take on the situation.

Grace’s Rehma answer to:

“Am I/will I ‘blow it’ here?”

______

Does this mean that I am bad or wrong?

Rhema:

“This issue feels big in my heart. Jesus what am I afraid of?”

______

Rhema:

“Jesus, can you show me where I have felt like this before?”

______

Jesus, I am asking you to take this pain and fear out of my heart?

Equipping: Lord, what words should I use / what should I do next time this happens that would honour me and honour them? ______(win-win)