OFFICE AND ENKAI ETIQUITTE
By: Sara Brown (5th year, Kikuchi SHS)
Kumamoto Orientation 2015
Japanese etiquetteis simply about 気づかい (kidzukai– consideration). In Japan, polite people are the ones who show they are aware of their surroundings, aware of their and others’ positions in a social setting, and who show their consideration for others through their actions and language. If you remain proactive about being considerate towards others – showing your kidzukai– then your Japanese coworkers will consider you polite and respectful of Japanese culture.
Also, know that appearance is 1/2 the battle. Why do 1st year teachers have to wear dark suits and solemn looks? Because they are expected to appear serious.Why do teachers wear track suits when they won’t actually be doing any sports on sports day? Because it’s sports day and everyone else will be wearing it so they should, too. Why are students constantly chastised about wearing their uniforms appropriately? Because they are learning a basic rule they’ll be expected to follow for the rest of their lives: appearance is 1/2 the battle.
Remember that as a non-Japanese, you enjoy a range of freedom from social rules that can sometimes be strict because no one expects you to know them. Once you know them, however, you’re likely to be held to standard. So remember the Gaijin Golden Rule: You can get away with almost anything – at first!!
The Office
A lot of things considered no-nos at workplaces in your home country would also be considered no-nos here in Japan. Walking around bare-footed, coloring your hair pink, and talking in a really loud voice are a few examples of these. If you happen to see a Japanese coworker doing something you think is rude and/or offensive, chances are your other coworkers feel the same. However they will rarely ever make a comment about it, even to other teachers they’re friendly with. This is a form of kidzukai in that they ignore the strange behavior so as not to cause the person embarrassment.
The following is a list of things considered well-mannered and things considered inconsiderate (rude).
Please note that you won’t be considered rude if you don’t do the things on the polite list, but you will make a great impression and earn respect if you do.
Things Considered Polite / Things Considered RudeGreeting everyone in a LOUD voice first thing in the morning
Saying ohayougozaimasu/ konnichiwa/ otsukaresamadesu to teachers in the hallway
Bowing to the room and LOUDLY announcing osakinishitsureishimasu (change that shimasu to an itashimasu for +2 brownie points!)
Standing up when someone comes to your desk for business (especially if they’re older or a principal/vice principal) because it shows you’re giving them your full attention
Going directly to someone’s desk to ask a favor or talk business with them, even if they sit right across from you.
Crouching down next to someone’s chair when you go to their desk to talk (not ideal for the principal’s room or vice-principal’s desk, though…lol…) because it shows you don’t expect them to have to stand up for you i.e you put yourself in a lower social position
Bringing omiyage from your trips (people love free food!)
Keeping a clean desk/work area
Parking your car in the spot furthest away from the main door
Offering to mark tests for teachers because you know they’re busy
Agreeing to stay late to help teachers and/or students
Helping with clean up after school ceremonies (graduation/entrance ceremony/sports day/culture festival)
Cleaning during cleaning time! / Talking loudly
Talking loudly when a parent is present
Talking loudly across the room
Taking or making personal phone calls in the teacher’s room or using the schools’ phones
Leaving unfinished food out on your desk
Being passive-aggressive
Bad-talking someonethe people present have never met
Dicking around on the internet while other people are working busily
Taking up too much space in the fridge
Making fun of students
Pointing out all the ways your country is better than Japan
Enkais
The word 宴会 (enkai) is written with the characters for “feast/merry-making” and “meeting”. Enkais are just parties of varying degrees of formality where people eat and drink together. Some enkais have specific purposes, such as getting to know new coworkers or sending off teachers who have been moved to a different school, and some are just a way to let loose and give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done. The cost depends greatly on how formal the occasion is and whether or not you elect to make monthly payments into the staff account that pays for half of all formal enkais as well as congratulatory (births/weddings) and condolatory (funerals) gifts. Below are a list of the types of enkais you might be invited to, how formal or casual you can expect them to be, and what sorts of things you can expect to happen or to be present.
Types of Enkais
Formal:
歓迎会 kangeikai“Welcome Party”
Happens in April, when new teachers arrive
送別会 soubetsukai“Farewell Party”
Happens in March, when teachers moving to new schools leave
For both of these enkais, the teachers leaving/arriving will sit in a row at the front of the room. It’s expected that other teachers come and talk to them to say goodbye/welcome them to the school. It’s also expected that everyone wear formal wear (suits and ties/dress skirts or slacks). You will find that most people take off their jackets after the main speeches and at some schools, even before. Just look to see what others are doing. And speaking of speeches… yes, there will be several speeches before the kanpai, so be prepared to sit (seiza if you want, but cross-legged is fine, even for ladies) for a while. Some BOEs or high schools throw welcome and farewell parties for their ALTs in July, but not all of them. They may ask what kind of food you want to eat but please use some kidzukai and be considerate with your requests.
忘年会 bounenkai “Forget-The-Year Party”
Happens in December, before the new calendar year. There are sometimes New Year parties, called 新年会 shinnenkai, but it’s not very common for schools.
As it’s purpose is to forget all the bad and tiresome things from the whole year in the hopes everyone will start the new year afresh, it’s more about camaraderie. There will be speeches and you should wear formal-ish attire, but it’s definitely more relaxed that the welcome and farewell parties.
NOTE: It’s forgivable if you don’t, but it’s expected that you attend your BOE/base school’s parties!
Casual
お疲れ様会 otsukaresamakaiOR うちあげ uchiage
These are enkais that happen after school events such as a sports day, cultural festival, graduation, or volunteer activity. You are not at all required to participate, but it’s a great way to become closer with your coworkers since usually 1/4th– 1/3rd of teachers don’t attend. They’re also (usually) cheaper than the big three formal enkais.
What to Expect
Formal enkais:
Speeches by the principal, organizer of the enkai, president of the alumni association, and representative of the incoming/outgoing teachers.Soooomuuuuuuchtallllkinnnnnnng. It’s usually polite to turn your whole body to face the speaker and sit in seiza with your legs to the side, but you can sit cross-legged and even stay faced towards your food if you’d like. By the way, you will be sitting on a cushion on the floor (zaseki style) 99.999999999999999999% of the time with these enkais.
Set up:
Formal enkais will have you sitting zaseki (on a cushion on the floor) with your own little table and personal dishes, but a casual enkai will probably have you seated somewhere on a long table (maybe chairs maybe zaseki) with a bunch of dishes for 3-4 people to share from. You will have your own chopsticks and a small plate to put your food on, called a torizara. If there are spoons, tongs, or long chopsticks resting on one of the central dishes, use them to transfer the food to your plate, but if not, use the back end (thick end) of your chopsticks when transferring. This is done so that your saliva doesn’t accidentally wind up on someone else’s portion. Sometimes, though, other teachers will tell you not to worry about it, which is a sign you are close.
You will have a set of chopsticks which may or may not come with a hashi―oki, or chopstick rest. If you don’t have one, you should rest your chopsticks on yourtorizara. You may see some teachers fashioning a hashi-oki out of the paper slip their chopsticks were in. Ask them to teach you! People who make this effort towards cleanliness are considered well-mannered.
You will also have a wet towel called an oshibori. This is for wiping your hands clean when you first arrive (AFTER KANPAI!)as well as later in the evening when you accidentally get teriyaki sauce on your hands. You might see older men wipe their faces with it but this is generally considered gross, but especially so if a female does it. Yay sexism. You may ask for as many new oshibori as you’d like.
The food an enkais are usually part of a course, which means that the menu is decided by the hotel/inn/restaurant hosting it. Remember that you NEVER have to eat something you don’t like! I personally cannot stand sticky, goopy foods like okra and just leave them untouched. It’s seriously not rude. (It is rude, however, to spit something out, so either take a small test bite or just swallow the whole disgusting thing in one gulp) If you have allergies or are vegetarian, please tell the person in charge of organizing the enkai (they’re called kanji) as soon as possible. The usual deadline for requests is 2~3 days before the enkai.
Order of events:
After paying upon arrival, you’ll be asked whether or not you’re drinking. At formal enkais, teachers who won’t be consuming alcohol are asked to wear ribbons so that others know they shouldn’t pour them alcoholic beverages. This doesn’t usually happen at casual enkais, so be sure to tell people around you if you won’t be drinking. And don’t worry if you’re not a drinker! It’s a choice that’s completely respected and honored.
You will also probably be asked to pull a slip of paper from a box. Although some casual enkais let you sit wherever you’d like, there is almost always a seat lottery where you’ll have to sit at the seat marked with the same number on the piece of paper you pulled. This is to ensure teachers have a chance to talk to people they might not usually have a chance to, although there will be times you wind up sitting directly across from the person you hate the most. Such is life. The good thing, however, is that you are free to get up and visit others after the first 30 minutes or so pass. In fact, you’ll see a lot of people bringing their glasses and a bottle of beer with them so they can pour a drink for the person they set out to talk with.
When you kanpai, it will either be with a small glass of peach/apricot wine (formal enkais) or with your drink of choice (casual enkais and sometimes formal enkais). You don’t have to clink glasses with every single person around you, but trying aiming for those sitting directly next to and across from you. IMPORTANT NOTE: Those of lower status (younger) must clink glasses with a person of high status (older) so that the lip of their own glass is LOWER. It’s also more polite to hold your drink with both hands. Also, when pouring drinks, you should never pour your own because it means that the people around you aren’t showing good kidzukai. By the same token, you should use some kidzukai and pay attention to the glasses of those sitting around you, refilling or reordering their drinks as they get to be about 3/4ths empty.
At the end of the enkai, there will be an oshime, where the people in charge of the enkai will make a speech thanking everyone for coming. If it’s an enkai for a school, the teachers will probably sing the school song. They may also do a hand-clapping thing. Just copy what everyone else is doing and if you’re worried about doing something wrong, just wait until everyone starts clapping, signaling the official end of the enkai, and clap with them.
There will probably be an after party (nijikai), but you are not required to attend. This is usually the part where teachers break up into smaller groups either to discuss business with their now drunk coworkers (drunk principal = persuadable principal) or enjoy talking to people they’re actually close with. Some people go to snacks, which is a bar owned and operated by women, visited by older men, and offering drinks, snacks, and karaoke (main draw). Some people go to izakayas and some go directly to karaoke. If you speak Japanese well, I recommend following along with the principal or vice-principal because it’ll help them get to know you and like you better. If you don’t speak Japanese well, I’d stick with the English teachers or other teachers you feel comfortable with.
Enjoy your time at the enkais and remember the Gaijin Golden Rule: You can get away with almost anything – at first!!