No Perfect Parent, Part One

We meet again!

This month’s video, “No Perfect Parent,” discusses how there is no parent who is perfect—and that perfection is not the goal in parenting. According to Karl Pillemer, Ph.D., in parenting, sometimes “the perfect can get in the way of the good.”

Pillemer writes, “Most parents hold themselves up to some kind of perfect standard when they evaluate their parenting. ‘If only,’ they say, ‘I had encouraged Johnny more with music, he would have used his talents.’ ‘If only I had provided more opportunities for Mary to play with other children, she wouldn’t be so shy.’”

Of course many of the “if onlys” work two ways: “If only I had pushed Jane harder with her studies, she would have done better in school” can ring just as true as “If only I hadn’t pushed Jane so hard, she would have done better in school.”

However, no one has perfect children, and no one can raise perfect children. This goes against one of the basics of Scripture: “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). This includes both you and your child—we all fall short of God’s perfection.

You aren’t a perfect parent, and God doesn’t expect you to be. Only He is perfect.

However, He does expect us to acknowledge areas where we have sinned—perhaps mistakes you have made since becoming a parent—and seek His forgiveness. But then, embrace His grace. The Bible says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22–23). Tomorrow is a new day, and you can step out in confidence and faith that God will be right with you as you seek to become a better, good, and more godly parent—but not a perfect parent.

Here on the journey with you,

Pastor Barb