No, I Shouted, No, No, No! He Is Not Evil! He Did Not Set Fire to Rome! He Is Innocent!

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(716) 597-5086
Name: Melanthe Howell
Final Word Count: 1,749

Beyond This Life

“No,” I shouted, “no, no, no! He is not evil! He did not set fire to Rome! He is innocent!”

Starting, I awoke. Sweat coursed down my face and the moon shone bright through my window. I shivered and drew my blanket closer. After laying down and trying to sleep, with no success, I got up and walked outside. My heart pounded and my brain whirled as I recalled it all: the fire, the questioning, the denunciation, Marcus’ arrest, and finally, his death. Horror coursed through my veins as I remembered watching the lions tear Marcus’ body apart. Self-reproach, guilt, and shame hammered at my soul. I betrayed my friend! I told our Commander Julius that Marcus was a Christ follower. I didn’t know that Christ followers had burned our beloved city, the glorious Rome. I still don’t believe it. Marcus didn’t. We were together that night and now separated forever. Sighing, I went back inside and lay down on my cot, falling asleep as a new day dawned.

*****

The next day I was relieved of guard duty at the palace. Walking in the market and in the sunlight eased my fears. Nearing an alley, I stopped, for I heard screams and a muffled,
“Help!”
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I drew my sword and turned the corner. Three, vagrant citizens were in the act of dragging a girl away. I shouted,
“Stop!”
One turned around, saw me, and let go of the girl. I sprinted down the alley, rushing to meet him as he drew a sword. Clumsily, he lunged while I deflected. I then brought my blade down across his head in a clean swipe. He toppled to the ground and I ran towards the others, dispatching them shortly afterwards. I walked over to the girl, sheathing my sword, and unbound her hands. Her brown eyes were wide with fear and her dark hair was falling out of its braid.
“What is your name?” I asked.
“My name is Adora. Thank you for saving me. And your name is?”
“Lucian,” I replied. “My name is Lucian. I am a guard for the Illustrious Nero.”
She shuddered and drew her torn cloak closer. Then she traced her finger in the dust and pointed. I leaned over and gazed on a fish.
“What on earth?” I wondered.
Images began reeling through my mind: Marcus’ face, lions, fire, his letter to me, a fish also traced, but on sand. I stumbled back, shaken, and leaned against the wall.
“Are you not well? Do you need help? My home is close by,” I heard a gentle voice say.
“No,” I said. “I will be fine in a minute.”
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“Do you… do you recognize that symbol?” Adora asked timidly.
“Yes, my friend showed it to me.” Adora’s face lightened and she looked relieved.
“Where is your friend?”
“Dead,” I replied.
There was silence and Adora stood up. Walking over to me, her eyes brimful, she said,
“I am so sorry for you. Do you know what that fish means?”
“No, well, yes. For me it means terror, shame, and guilt. When I see that I see death and betrayal.”
Adora stood silent for a moment, her head hung. I started to walk back towards the open.
“Lucian,” I stopped and turned.
“Lucian, would you like to find out about the truth that that symbol offers?” I didn’t

reply.
“If you do, please come to my house tonight. Besides, my family will want to thank you for helping me.”
I thought for a moment.
“Why not? I probably won’t get any sleep tonight because of my nightmares.”

“I will come,” I said,” but is it safe to go?”
“Oh, it depends. Usually we are safe. Just don’t bring anyone with you. Our house is
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there,” Adora pointed to a house at the alley’s end.
“Be there in six hours.” Adora left and walked to her house. She paused before going in and turned around. Waving her hand, she went in and closed the door. My fate was set.

*****

Dark roads and cloudy skies all helped contribute to my apprehension as I set out to Adora’s home that evening. An atmosphere, stifling and oppressive, weighed upon my mind. A shrieking fear of foreboding filled me as I strolled along, closer and closer. At last I stopped. A light shone from the window. I paused,
“Should I go in?” The door opened and a figure was outlined against the light.
“Too late.”
“Come in, come in. Hurry please.”
I stepped inside, blinded by a flood of light. Gaining my composure, I turned and beheld a tall, graceful woman with graying brown hair and a gentle smile.
“Welcome,” she said. “I am Adora’s mother, Livia. Thank you for rescuing my daughter.”
“It was nothing,” I replied. “I was just doing my duty.”
“Antony,” she called to a man, motioning for him to join us. He detached himself from a group of people and walked over to us.
“Antony, this is Lucian. Adora invited him to join us and he is the one who rescued her
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from those thugs,” Livia explained.
“Ahh, Lucian, it is good to have you here. Would you care to join our group? There is some food for your body and more importantly, food for your mind.”
“I don’t mind. I came here with that purpose in mind.”
“Good, good. Adora, please help Lucian find a seat.”
Adora came at her father’s call and guided me to a vacant seat next to a “brother”, she called him. Antony stood up and started to speak.
“Brethren, the times are hard. There are those who would falsely accuse us. There are those who would take us, along with our wives and children, to be thrown to the lions. There are those who would discourage us from following our Lord. There are those who would say, ‘Why worship Christ, a rebel who was crucified?’”
“Christ? These people are followers of that man?” Marcus’ face came before me, persuasive and gentle.
“Lucian, don’t you see? Christ has risen from the dead! He loves all and cares for all. He isn’t like our gods!” I closed my eyes, feeling faint and dizzy with the closeness of the room. Antony’s voice jerked me back to attention,
“Our brother, Paul, has written to the brethren here at Rome. We are fortunate to have received a copy of that letter. Listen, ‘For while we were still weak, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person-though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die-but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have…”
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BAM! BAM! BAM!
“Open up! Open up in the name of Nero!”
Women shrieked and caught up their children, men rose hurriedly and whispered, Adora was consoling her mother, and I, who was I? I felt drawn to the door. My eyes were riveted and Fate was pressing in. Soldiers battered at the small, wooden frame and it quickly gave way. Rough voices, commanded our group to walk outside, silently. We hurried outside, frightened and apprehensive. Where were the soldiers taking us? On and on we walked. Children whimpered. The women, exhausted, stumbled along and the men marched on, oblivious. I was too pre-occupied in making sure the soldiers knew we hadn’t done anything. Finally, one of them pulled me aside and whispered,
“Now, look here. All meetings of Christ followers are to be disturbed and all followers arrested. You were inside the house. You are going to prison. Now shut up and get in line!”
Despairing, I fell back and prayed to any god for comfort.

*****

When we arrived at the prison we were shoved along a dark, dank passage. All of us were put into one cell. No windows, dirty straw, and a horrid smell gave a depressing air. Mothers and children dropped to the ground in exhaustion, some asleep and some on the verge of sleeping. Adora leaned up against the wall, pale and cold, and closed her eyed. I inched my way over to
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Antony, thoughts in a whirl.
“Antony,” I said. “I have lived with the guilt, shame, and remorse of betraying my friend. He was a Christ follower. I can’t live with myself anymore and now we are here, doomed to die in the Coliseum or the games. I have no hope at all.”
Antony sighed; he turned and looked at me. His eyes reflected pity and compassion.
“Lucian, Christ died for sinners. He didn’t die for perfect people. He loved us, saw our sin and misery, and had compassion on us. He is alive with God, preparing a place for us with him because he has defeated our sin. You just have to give him all of you.”
I thought on these words a long time. The struggle in my soul, the agony of my mind, and the confusion in my spirit unsettled and unstrung me. To lay all I was down, to vow to follow a crucified rebel for the rest of my life.
“Impossible!”
Yet that life could not be worse than the one I was already leading.
“What can I lose?”
This life, but He promised life after death. I came to my decision in the gray dawn. I gave Christ all of me and peace; something I had not known for a long time, filled me. Antony smiled and as I looked back at him I realized I was truly happy.

*****

I look back on that fateful night with gratefulness and would have ended my story then.
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Yet, perhaps my readers wish to know the fates of my fellow believers. The next day, about half were taken to the Coliseum and burned alive. Antony and Livia were among them. Two days later, Adora and I were given swords and thrust into the arena to fight gladiators. My training as a soldier helped me to defend myself and kill them. We won our freedom and left Rome. I later married Adora and we had five children. As I sit here writing, Adora walks in the garden with our grandchildren. They bring such joy to our lives.
We mourn the loss of Adora’s parents, but we know that there is more beyond this life, more than we can ever imagine. Eternity awaits.

*****

The End

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