Program Title: High School Teen Living
Category: Teen Issues
Author(s): Jake Brown and Jon DeSantis
Created for: NFTY-PAR Fall Kallah 2005
Please Note: This program may be used "as-is," however; NFTYites are encouraged to "adapt" programs, combining their own elements of innovation with this preexisting program.
Touchstone Text:
· “How is it that after being married to Sarai for some time, Avram first realizes her beauty now? Tanchuma relates that they came to a river where he saw her reflection and realized how beautiful she was.” - Genesis 12 verses 46-47
o Discusses how Abraham hadn’t realized Sarah’s beauty until he had seen other people
o This relates as it demonstrates that in Judaism, personality and deeds take precedence over attraction
Goals:
· To present PPs with the opportunity to express themselves
· To discuss common high school age problems
· To provide a forum for open discussion
· To give PPs the chance to effectively communicate with the opposite sex
· To encourage acceptance and a positive self image
Objectives:
· PPs, through discussion, will realize misconceptions of popularity
· PPs will realize their problems are not unique to themselves
· High school “veterans” will communicate with underclassmen
· PPs will develop a greater respect for themselves
· PPs will communicate with one another and consequent feel more comfortable in group situations
Materials:
· 15 pens
· 15 large pieces of paper
· One golf pen/PP
· One small piece of paper/PP
· Candles w/ matches + tin foil
Location:
· If warm- Carmel Pagoda, L-Pool Pagoda, Sun Dial Pagoda, Bayit Pagoda, Mirkaz Pagoda, Boys Basketball Court, Girls Camp Pavilion, Lakeside Amphitheater, New Beit Amphitheater, Misrad Pagoda, Back dock area, boys Gaga Pit area, soccer field area, Omanoot area, and road to Girl’s Camp area
· If cold and/or rainy-girls in the New Beit and Mirkaz, guys in Chader Ochel and Beit
People:
· Group leaders (PAR Board + Gabe Schanll, Ellie Tepper, Sarah Coopeson, Jon Stieff, Melissa Brenner, Tamar Godel, Josh Wexler, Joel Mumma)
· Two rovers
Time Table:
· 0:00-0:05- Move into groups and go to locations
· 0:05-0:07- Names, TYG, hometown, grade, etc.
· 0:07-0:30- Popularity section
· 0:30-0:55- Self image section
· 0:55-1:30- Dating sections, trade questions with partner group
· 1:30-1:35- Conclude
Detailed Procedure:
· 0:00-0:05- Move into groups and go to locations
Groups will be predetermined and announced at the program prior to this. Locations and group leaders will also be announced, so that PPs know where to go and for whom to look.
· 0:05-0:07- Names, TYG, hometown, grade, etc.
GLs will introduce themselves then proceed to play a quick name game and ask each PP their name, TYG, grade, hometown, and high school
· 0:07-0:30- Popularity section
Before you begin, assure your PPs that anything and everything they say will be held in the strictest of confidentialities. State that anything that is said in the group remains in the group. Ask if anyone has a question about that and ask them to agree.
Read the following statement:
“In every high school portrayed on television there is a "popular" group. In TV shows it’s usually the group of kids that are "too cool" for our favorite TV characters and usually act stupidly. So why when we hit high school do we so anxiously try to be part of this group? Why do we feel that it is necessary to act in a certain way to achieve a certain social status?
Ask the PPs to raise their hands if their high schools have a popular group. Follow this up by handing out the pieces of paper and golf pencils: ask each PP to make a “mental list” of three of the most popular people in their school. Then ask PPs to write three or four defining characteristics of one or all of these people. Go around in a circle and have each PP read those characteristics. Keep track of their responses and discuss the positive and negative responses. Follow this up by presenting the following discussion questions:
What does popularity mean?
Is there a need for a popular group? Is it logical not to have a popular group?
Have you at any point in your high school career been considered popular? How did that feel? Did you treat others differently?
Do you try to be popular? Does your level of popularity matter to you? What do you do to make yourself more popular? (dress well, act preppy, talk differently etc.)
· 0:30-0:55- Self image section Read the following:
Throughout our lives, we are told to “be yourself.” However, we are constantly changing and trying to improve ourselves. Judaism says that everyone is created B’tzelem Elohim: in the image of God. To most this is interpreted to mean that all people are equal upon birth.
Ask the following questions:
Is the advice to “always be yourself” actually good advice? Should we stick with who we are, or should we always try to improve?
What are characteristics in yourself you most value? (Have each PP read one aloud)
What are the characteristics of yourself you dislike the most? (Read one again)
What is a characteristic that you wish you possessed?
How do you work each day to improve yourself?
Why do some people have a negative self-image while others have an extremely positive self-image?
How can someone improve their self-image?
Has your self-image improved or diminished as you have become older?
How do our actions affect the self-image of others?
· 0:55-1:30- Dating sections, trade questions with partner group Read the following:
When we hit puberty, our relationships with the opposite sex become much more important to us, in a way that we never could have understood during childhood. Dating and relationships are extremely important topics for the typical high school student. We see this all around us, with celebrities dating and breaking up constantly, movie characters having one night stands, and even sitcom characters (like Corey, in “Boy Meets World”) having the majority of their life revolve around the opposite sex.
Ask the following icebreakers:
How many of you are interested in dating someone at some point in high school or have been interested in doing so in the past?
How many of you are completely confused by the opposite sex?
GL says to PPs, “Dating is probably the scariest times of your teenage lives when you are most vulnerable to rejection.” Then ask the following questions:
What is the most important feature of a possible girlfriend/boyfriend?
What do you think the goal of high school dating is if not to find a spouse? Is it right?
Have you ever broken up with someone over something “stupid” (explain)?
Have friends ever affected your relationships with a significant other?
Now move onto the final portion of the program. Announce that seeing as dating and relationships are so confusing, we are going to have the chance to confidentially question another group of the opposite sex. Each group can ask four (appropriate) questions but they can cover anything (i.e. “is it always the guys responsibility to pay?”) Remind everyone that this is completely confidential and no one will know who wrote or answered the questions.
Write down your groups four questions then contact the program leader, rover, or adult leader, who will exchange your questions with another groups of the opposite sex. While the questions are being exchanged, have some downtime. You will receive another group’s questions, which you will answer and return. Then you will receive your own group’s questions as answered by another group of the opposite sex. Discuss the answers and if these are the answers you expected.
1:30-1:35- Conclude
This is the end of the program. Thank PPs for their maturity and remind them this is strictly confidential.
This resource has been provided by the North American Federation of Temple Youth.
For additional resources, visit our website at http://www.nfty.org.