E-Safety Newsletter for Parents/Carers
Sept October 2015
Welcome back to the new academic year andto our October September 2015 e-Safety Newsletter. Please continue to check out our dedicated e-Safety Page under the Parent/Carer tab on our website – for the very latest news and up to date technology.
New on our website in September 2015
New video ‘Tom’s Story’ (published on 02 September 2015) – from the Thinkuknow programme, addressing child sexual abuse online (if you are upset or affected by the content of this video please stop watching immediately). For further advice and support visit the
‘Keeping adopted children safe onlineCEOP Reporting Button now live’
The CEOP Command is to help children and young people. Whether you as a parent is concerned that your child(ren) or their friends (up to the age of 18) has been forced or tricked into taking part in sexual activity with anyone online, or in the real world.
The internet is a valuable resource for adopted young people and their families, but there are also some specific risks facing adopted children online. Some of the most important things to think about are:
Influence of early childhood experiences. Many adopted children experience traumatic events early in life. These negative experiences can make them more vulnerable in the future – both on and off line.
Difficulty adjusting to rules. Children who are adopted later in life might be used to having different rules about their use of technology – or no rules at all. Rebelling against any new restrictions you put in place might make it harder to keep them safe.
Contact from birth families. The internet has made it easier than ever for birth families to find adopted children and get in touch. While some contact can be a good thing depending on your child’s circumstances, it can also be harmful if it is not properly managed. Unauthorised online contact could:
Undermine an adoption
Put a child at risk of abuse
Be very emotionally challenging for a young person to deal with.
Digital Tattoo
A tattoo is permanent, much like the information we post online. The photos we share, the comments we write, the videos we 'like'. Even if we delete them, they may still be out there – saved and shared by others, or even kept by the site or app itself.
What does the content you post online say about you?
As adults, this may have less of an effect on our futures, but for your child, the consequences could be far reaching. Having been brought up in a digital world, your child’s ‘digital tattoo’ is likely to be much larger than yours. Today, young people’s lives are documented daily, by them, their friends and even their family.
How much room does this leave for your child to make developmental mistakes, without having possible longstanding embarrassment? Why should I be concerned?
Embarrassment is one thing which young people may face but it’s also possible that the things they post, or are posted about them, could have a negative effect on their reputation, education or future employment.
Things that happen online, but involve fellow pupils, can be brought to the attention of their school, and children may be sanctioned as a result of their actions, even if they were not directly involved in wrongdoing. They may have been a bystander who allowed bullying to take place, or perhaps liked or shared something they thought was funny, but which then caused harm or upset to others.
In extreme cases, if your child has posted or shared sexual content, there is a possibility that they have shared this with strangers online without realising it. This could lead to them being pressured into continuing contact, or even being threatened into taking more images or meeting face to face.
Can a digital footprint be a good thing?
Very possibly. Your child can have a positive reputation online and there will be things that they do, such as volunteering or achieving in sport or the arts, they will want people (or future employers) to know about. The key is to have control over who and what people can find about them.
What advice can I give my child to think before they post?
It is never too late for your child to take control of their online reputation and there are things you can do to help.
CEOP, has an education programme called Thinkuknow, that offers top tips to teenagers on this topic, such as ‘things to think about before you post’ and advice for ‘after sharing’. If you’d like your child to read these tips for themselves, ask them to visit the thinkuknow site directly - maybe even sit with them while they do so and answer any questions they may have.
Thinkuknow tips for young people in relation to ‘digital tattoos’
Five things to think about before you post:
1. What do I look like?
If you didn’t know you, what would you think about this post? What impression would you have of the person who posted it? Things that we might share with friends as a joke can look very different to someone else, and that might be someone you’re trying to impress – a girl, a boy, even an employer or a university recruiter.
2. Is this 'ink' permanent?
When you share something online, you can lose control of it. Even if you delete a photo or post you can’t guarantee that it hasn’t been copied or downloaded by someone else. Think about how many people you’re sharing with and whether they’ll be responsible with what you share. Don’t forget it’s easy for other people to copy what you share online, change it and share it without you knowing.
3. Am I giving away too much?
The more you share, the more people can learn about you. Could they use your posts to bully you or to trick you into sharing something you may not want the world to see?
4. Would I want this shared about me?
It’s important to think about the impact what you post online might have on others. Do you have your friend’s permission to share that funny picture of them? Could that jokey comment you posted hurt someone’s feelings?
5. Does it pass the billboard test?
Before you post something online, think: would you be happy to see it on a billboard where the rest of your school, your parents, your grandparents and neighbours could see it? If not, do you really want to share it?
After sharing:
If your child still want to share something online, what can they do to make sure they still have control over who sees it?
Mind your privacy: Most websites, apps and social networks you can share information on have ‘privacy settings’. These help you control what you share, and who you share it with. So it's your choice whether your friends, friends of friends or everyone, can see a photo or comment.
Choose your friends wisely: It’s always best to share only with friends you know in the real world. Remember too that what your friends share about you and their privacy settings online will also affect you and your digital tattoo.
Remove and report: Think you shouldn’t have made that comment? Make sure you know how to remove anything you regret posting from any sites you use. If someone’s posted something about you that you’re worried about and refuses to take it down, make sure you know how to report it.
Know what you look like online: It can be hard to keep up with the things we’ve done online so it's a good idea to Google yourself now and again, and review your profiles on any social networks you use. That way you’ll know what other people can find out about you, as well as things others might have posted about you.
Shut down or delete: If you stop using a social network, remember to shut down your profile or delete your account.
Safety and Privacy Controls on your Childs devices
On a smartphone, tablet or games console, you can use parental controls to manage a range of functions, including access to websites, app stores and apps, as well as location services and in-app purchases. Log into our website to find out how
Note: Digital Parenting Magazine issue 4 out soon
As an adoptive parent/carer you’ll need to balance protecting your child from these risks with giving them the freedom to explore the online world.
1.Talk to your child about privacy settings. Help your child work out what privacy settings are, how they work and why they are important. And ensure the rest of your family are also careful what you post publicly, especially about your adopted child
2.Discuss what you child would do if their birth family reached out online. Talk to your child and try to make a plan for how they will respond if someone from their birth family contacts them. Reassure them that it’s normal to be curious about their past, including the people in it – but make sure they know they can come to you with any questions they might have.
3.Don’t be afraid to get help. If you think something is not right, trust your instincts. You can talk to your child’s adoption agency about contact from birth families, and always call 999 if your think you child is in immediate danger.
4.Take interest in your child’s online life. There are lots of ways for you to get involved in your child’s life without being too negative or restrictive. Asking them to show you their favourite websites and games will help you enjoy the internet together and give you the positive window into their online world.
As Always Stay Safe
Lesley -
E-Safety Officer & CEOP Ambassador
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