Different by Design
Vigor and Rigor
My daughter was in Carolina Friends School’s winter dance annual performance this year. Several of the students choreograph their own dances for the first time, supported by Annie, the School’s dance teacher of 20 years. There is always much excitement around this night and many rehearsals fill the preceding months. I know, because I have to drive my daughter to all these rehearsals over the weekends, late Wednesdays, and a few extra Saturdays.
On many occasions my daughter comes home and tells me about the dancers and how the choreographing was going. “Mike’s in two dances, Mom,” she’d tell me. “Miles is choreographing one with all boys and Mike’s in that one. It’s about people controlling our lives.” She goes on about this one and says it is one of her favorites. In another dance young women perform on scaffolding in various forms of balance and connection. She loves this one as well. And then, of course, there is the dance she is in, in which she has a small solo. It is about the first moments a person finds out he or she has AIDS. You need a written description for most of these dances, as they are modern in expressions and form and not always easy to discern. But there is my daughter right in front of me after all these rehearsals: focused, creative, and communicating with her body movements and expressions. I cry at the sight of this.
I watch closely the dance with Mike in it. He has come a long way from his first hesitant day of dance. He’s freer, his body moves more fluidly, and he seems to be having more fun. After the final performance and during the cast party my daughter comes to me and says, “I’m going to check on Mike and see how he’s doing. He was pretty nervous earlier.” I watch her go over to him and begin a conversation. My daughter is only 5’2 and Mike is 6’5”. You could say Mike is a little big for his age except Mike is in his 40’s. Mike, you see,is not one of the students, but the principal, or head of our school.
The story of Mike dancing with our students is indicative of how Carolina Friends School views education. When he first was selected as head of CFSeight years ago, Mike Hanas wanted to find a personal growing edge and to be vulnerable enough to work on it in front of the rest of the community. This is exactly what we ask of our students. Mike chose dance. Mike was not teaching while he was out there dancing. Yet so much was learned. He was not trying to be a good role model, but to be good at what he was doing. My daughter and others, I’m sure, were emotionally connected enough to him that they thought of him, worried for him, and celebrated with him. The barrier between student and principal was lowered, if not temporarily dissolved. They were all trying to do their best, work as a team, and give a performance that would delight us. That they did.
Parent and trustee Linda DiLorenzo authored this essay as part of a series. Last year, she also created three Different by Design videos. In those vignettes, she, fellow Upper School parent Bobby Allen (a UNC professor), and 2005 alumnus Rob Jentsch talk about distinctive aspects of Carolina Friends School. Please check out the essays and videos in the new Different by Design section at , under the About CFS heading.