ParshatVayikra

Mercaz Spring Subs: Mincha

Characters:

  • God
  • Aaron
  • Moses
  • Narrator
  • Goat (no lines)
  • Levite #1
  • Israelite #1
  • Israelite #2

Narrator: Looking back on their work, Moses and Aaron can now relax with the completion of the Tabernacle. But knowing their history, God assigns task after task for these ordained pair of brothers.

Moses: Alright God, the intricate Tabernacle you prescribed to us is finally finished. (Sigh of relief)

Aaron: (Turns to God)Anything else left on the agenda?

God: Splendid work, you two! Now that the Tabernacle is out of the way, alas come the responsibilities of those who will run the whole thing. Aaron, listen up, for these duties apply to you and all of your Levite descendants.

Moses: Of course, two seconds of leisure is obviously just too much to ask for… (sarcastically under breath)

Aaron: (disregards what Moses says) Aye aye, Captain.

God: (in a lecturing tone) Well, let’s begin with the burnt offerings. Now, this may be in the form of an unblemished cattle, sheep, goat… (voice trails off as Narrator begins their next line)

Narrator: As God went on and on to describe the long, detailed list of all the offerings to be done in the Tabernacle, Aaron could not help but trail off a bit into somewhat into of a daydream… (GOAT: ENTER, slowly) Out come the goats Aaron is to inspect, one by one…

Aaron: (As goat enters)Stop! This one looks good. Takes awhile to inspect it carefully No blemish in sight, looks good and meaty. You, come with me.

Levite #1: (Coming to Aaron’s aid)Anything I can help with, Head Levi?

Aaron: Yes, you know the drill. As my ancestor you must set up the altar and arrange the fire wood underneath it.

Levite #1: (Nods in agreement, rushes away)

Aaron: (Places goat onto the altar)Alright, buddy, let’s get this over with. (Raises arm as if it slaughter the goat – HOLD POSITION)

God: Aaron! What are you doing? You’re not performing any sacrifices yet… (Goat leaves scene hurriedly)

Aaron: (Realizes what he is doing; looks up at his arms violently in the air)Oh...I was just uh…you know…practicing my swing. It’s gotta be good for you, God.

God: (Still suspicious) Um, right. I suppose so…Anyway, on to the sacrifices one must make if they commit a crime. We call these the guilt offerings… (trail off again to the sound of the Narrator)

Narrator: Again, this daunting lecture brought Aaron out of reality and into the world of his own imagination. (Israelites #1 and #2 enter, along with Moses)

Moses: (Pointing to Israelite #1 and #2) These two came to me with quite the quarrel. He owes him money, but really he says he didn’t do it, and now he just wants his money back (overall confused with the situation)

Israelite #1: No, no, no, you got it all wrong! HE (point to Israelite #2) owes me money!

Israelite #2: I can’t believe you would dare lie in front of Moses and Aaron, you’re the one who owes me money. (Folds arms across chest)

Aaron: Cut it out! Regardless, thanks to the building of our lovely new Mishkan, both of you owe a guilt offering to God. Along with sacrifices, you must both repay each other whatever was lent out, despite who actually forget to give the money back. Understand?

Israelite #1 and Israelite #2: (Nod solemnly in agreement; walk off)

Aaron: (looks at himself in admiration, stands up tall, strokes imaginary beard) You know, I could really get used to this… (keep stroking beard)

God: …Really get used to what?

Aaron: (snaps back into reality) Oh, you know, all these sacrifices. I really think you’re doing a great job!

God: Well, um, thanks. Aaron, are you okay today? Something seems a bit off…

Aaron: Yeah, you know, just a bit tired.

God: Well wake up because I can assure you both that work will need to be done once this is wrapped up. Let me know if you guys need anything. (walks off stage)

Moses: (chuckles) Well done, bro! I have so much faith that you’ll be an excellent Head Levi.

Aaron: Oh, stop it. (points out into the distance) I can already see a line forming around the Mishkan, we better get going. (Moses and Aaron walk off stage)