«May God save your soul»
by Panos Capo d’ Istria
ACT ONE
SCENE 1
– OFFICE –
Maria is sitting on her desk talking on the phone.
MARIAOf course, please bring the contract to sign it.
We will blacktop the road around your house.
What? You think I am kidding?
I don’t care about the other construction companies. I said yes and we‘ll make it.
We want to look at you, straight into your eyes. I am going to be the first one to begin digging.
Yes, of course. Prepare the contracts.
She hangs up the phone.
MARIAWhere in hell is that house? Never mind… Wherever it is, I‘ll do it. Every cent counts these days.
She hears a fight out of her office. Her secretary, Alberta, comes in. Her clothes are almost torn apart.
MARIAWhat’s happening, Alberta? What’s with the appearance?
ALBERTAPeople have gone mad outside, Mrs. Wilson.
MARIAWhat people?
ALBERTAPeople who want to see you.
MARIAAnd why don’t you let them in?
ALBERTAI can’t.
MARIAWhy?
ALBERTACause there’s a woman standing in the middle of the entrance and doesn’t let them in.
MARIAOh, it is probably my mother-in-law. Only when she’s standing at the door, none can enter.
ALBERTAIt’s not her.
MARIAShe’s not? Then who the hell is she?
ALBERTAI don’t know, I tried to talk to her but she told me that she will not leave unless she sees you.
In front of the entrance there is a very beautiful woman standing and smoking while behind her there are at least 20 people shouting. The woman doesn’t seem bothered. Maria walks towards her.
MARIAGood morning.
WOMANYou can bet so!
MARIAMay I help you?
WOMANOf course you can.
MARIAI’m listening.
WOMANI’m also listening. Do you think I’m deaf?
MARIAI mean… What do you want from me?
WOMANJust a signature.
MARIAWhat for?
WOMANLet’s just say that we are going to help each other.
MARIAAnd why on earth are we still standing? Please have a seat.
WOMANNo, I won’t be long.
MARIASo, what can we do for you?
WOMANA favor.
MARIASorry but…
WOMANCome on… What’s a small favor for you? It will cost you nothing.
MARIAAnd for what are we talking about?
WOMANA tiny bitty signature.
MARIAWhere?
WOMAN(takes a piece of paper) Here.
MARIAThis is just a blank page…
WOMANWhite and pure like your soul.
MARIAI’m moved… I’ll sign…
Maria signs. A devil’s laugh is heard. Lights are flickering. Maria feels a chill up her spine.
~DARK~
SCENE 2
– LIVING ROOM –
Elthy, the housekeeper is at the living room. Maria enters looking quite upset.
MARIAGood morning Elsy.
ELTHYMy name is Elthy.
MARIAThat’s how I called you. Elsy!
ELTHYElthy with “th”.
MARIAI don’t want to call you like that, I keep stammering afterwards, besides, this name doesn’t mean anything.
ELTHYIt’s a combination of Elizabeth and Cathy. El–thy.
MARIAYea, but your name isn’t Elizabeth or Cathy. It’s Paula.
ELTHYAnd why do you keep on calling me Elsy?
MARIACause I don’t like Paula.
ELTHYI don’t like it either. That’s why I made it Elthy. I couldn’t choose which of these two names I like most.
MARIAI am really not in the mood for your fussiness, ok?
George is coming in the kitchen.
GEORGEGood morning girls…
MARIAWell, well, well… How come and you’re up so early? Don’t tell me you are going to the University, I’ll have a heart attack…
ELTHYYou came second my dear. The ones that gave you your degree have already had quite a few. Don’t forget your history of academic life… your mother was praying day and night in order for you to pass the exams. No wonder why she became a nun…
MARIARemind me why you came to live with me with me when I got married…
GEORGEGirls… Stop fighting.
MARIADon’t you hear her?
GEORGEI’m not going to take this anymore. I am going for a coffee!
George leaves.
MARIA(To George) Are you going to the university snack bar?
ELTHYWhat’s the point in this question? He is not going to class anyway.
MARIAIt’s about time he got acquainted with the university environment. He is a student for 2 years now and doesn’t even know the way to the main building. He says he’s claustrophobic. What else will I hear?
~DARK~
SCENE 3
– OFFICE –
Maria enters the room. Alberta follows.
MARIADid anyone call me?
ALBERTALet me think… No…
MARIAStrange…
ALBERTATo be honest, the phone hasn’t rung for two weeks.
MARIAAre you sure it’s working?
ALBERTAThere is no problem with the phone; it’s the office I’m concerned about.
MARIAWhat do you mean?
ALBERTAI mean that sometimes it feels like I don’t work for Mr. Wilson anymore but for Mr. “Don’t bother me I’m sleeping now”.
MARIAIn case you haven’t noticed, you are not working for Mr. Wilson, Alberta! My company has changed its name and “Mr. Wilson” is not included. And if you believe that along with Mr. Wilson the clients are also gone, go straight ahead and register to the club he created named: “Maria cannot do anything without her X-husband’s help.”
ALBERTALet me think … What was the last work we took??? I remember! The Berlin Wall.
MARIAOne more word out of your mouth and you are fired! Now that we are going to take the project of the L.A. highway, you’ll see many more clients and much more work. The days of your relaxation will be long gone.
ALBERTABut…
MARIAWill you just cut it off? Just go to your office! (changes tone) And now that I’ve come to think about it, your salary is too high considering you don’t do anything.
ALBERTAToo high? I hardly make ends meet. With that salary I can only buy a loaf of bread.
MARIAFrom now and on, you will only afford crumbs! (changes tone)Is there something else that I should know?
ALBERTAThere is something but I don’t know if you ’re going to like it.
MARIAWhy? It’s not like everything else you said today was cheerful…
ALBERTAIt’s about this one bid for an open contract.
MARIAThe work in L.A.?
ALBERTAYes.
MARIAThe results will be out tomorrow. Right?
ALBERTARight. But I saw the participants posted on the Internet.
MARIAIs there anything familiar on the list?
ALBERTALook for yourself.
Alberta gives her the list. Maria takes a look.
MARIASmith, Crown, Perry… Where are we? Oh, here… Mrs. Wilson… And Mr. Wilson… (freezes) Who is this Mr. Wilson?
ALBERTAI don’t know anything!
MARIAAnd I don’t see anything. I‘m blind right now! I don’t believe it. He is out to ruin me.
ALBERTADo you want a glass of water?
MARIAIf I don’t take this job, I’ll declare bankruptcy and open an underwear shop. Which means you’ll be selling bras to old ladies all day long…
ALBERTAHold your horses, ok? There is nothing we can do now, let’s just wait for the results first.
MARIAThere must be something we could do. I could sell my soul to the Devil in order to win this bid…
ALBERTAI’m going to get you that water now.
Alberta leaves. Maria looks at the door and she sees a beautiful lady looking at her
MARIAHi. Do you want something?
DEVILNo. You called me.
MARIAWe did? (She shouts) Alberta… Did you call this lady?
DEVILDon’t shout my dear. She can’t hear us. We are alone in here.
MARIAAlone? Who are you?
DEVILI have many names. The most commons are Diablo, Beelzebul and Devil.
MARIAAnd I’m the St. Peter! I don’t have time for games, miss… Tell me please, what do you want?
DEVILI don’t want anything … You called me. I’m the Devil.
MARIAWell, you want to play? Let’s play… Just tell me where the cameras so I can look…
DEVILI don’t play games.
MARIAOh, I see now… Helen asked you to play this practical joke on me.
She begins talking like acting on an ancient Greek tragedy.
MARIAOh, Demon, you’re here. I was waiting for so long to come and take me.
DEVIL(by herself) Why not? (to Maria) Are you sure you want to sell your soul to me?
MARIAIf you give me a good price…
Devil hands out a contract.
DEVILIt is all settled then. I’ll give you the work for the highway and you’ll give me your soul.
MARIAYou came prepared…
DEVIL(comes closer) Well?
MARIADon’t stand in front of me like the Devil…
DEVIL(steps back) Sorry.
MARIAGive me a pen.
Maria thinks that all these are a joke and signs. The phone is ringing.
MARIA(to Devil) Excuse me…
(at the phone) Hello.
Yes, that’s me.
Which bid?
Yes. Who is the lucky one? Let me guess… Mr. Wilson?
Me? Are you sure?
Yes, of course. I‘ll be there.
Maria hangs up the phone and turns to the Devil but she has disappeared. She doesn’t understand what has just happened.
~DARK~
SCENE 4
– LIVING ROOM –
Maria and Helen come in the house. They sit on the sofa.
HELEN(laughing) And she told you that that she is going to take your soul?
MARIADon’t laugh. I feel like someone wants to kill me.
HELENAnd he tried to inform you first?
MARIAMaybe he’s a good guy.
HELENMaria, you are losing it.
MARIAIf the devil came into your office, I would like to see how you would be losing it…
HELEN(laughing) What devil? You said it was a woman.
MARIAShe was the devil.
HELENDressed like a devil?
MARIAShe told me “I’m the devil and I came to take your soul”.
HELEN(laughs) Stop it. I can’t laugh any more.
MARIAThen, don’t.
HELENWell you are still alive.
MARIAThis is out of the question.
HELENWell, yes but instead of taking your soul, she gave you the work in L.A.
MARIAYou’re right. I didn’t think about that…
HELENSomeone must have found out and wanted to play a game on you.
MARIAWho could think up something so terrible?
Helen looks at her. Maria realizes that she means John. She grabs the phone.
SISSY (OFF)Mr. Wilson’s construction company. May I help you?
MARIAMr. Wilson, please.
SISSY (OFF)May I ask who is calling, please?
MARIATell him, his ex-wife. He will understand.
SISSY (OFF)Yes… One minute.
JOHN (OFF)Hello honey…
MARIAWell, look how things turn out… You haven’t called me like this since our first date…
JOHN (OFF)Bygones sweetie… I’ve just learned about your success.
MARIA And you couldn’t hold yourself! You found one of them high-class bitches you are dating and sent her to me…
JOHN (OFF)What are you talking about honey? I just found out!
MARIARight now?
JOHN (OFF)Five minutes ago…
MARIAYou didn’t know about it this morning?
JOHN (OFF)Of course not. Who could have told me? You see, I didn’t have any friends in the Commissioner’s office, unlike someone I know…
MARIAI didn’t understand… Who has friends?
JOHN (OFF)Come on Maria… The results were supposed to be announced tomorrow… Why do you think they announced them today?
MARIA Well, that’s that… I have to go now… Let me leave you to your misery…
JOHN (OFF)Let me tell you once again that you are not the center of the world…
MARIADefinitely not your world for sure…
JOHN (OFF)I’m glad we got that straight…
MARIAUnlike you though, I do have work to do…
Maria hangs up.
MARIAIt wasn’t him.
HELENOk, it wasn’t him, it was someone else.
MARIAHelen I’m worried…
HELENMaria, be serious. You are a big girl and you believe that the devil has come into your office to take your soul?
MARIAI signed a contract, don’t you understand?
HELENDo you understand that you are bullshitting me? Instead of being happy with your work, you keep thinking of any slut who came into your office and played a practical joke on you. You are such an idiot. Admit it…
MARIANo I am not.
HELENShould I remind you of the day when George painted some red dots on his face and he convinced you that he had chickenpox, in order not to go to school?
MARIAHe had a high fever…
HELENI heated the thermometer for him…
MARIAYou set me up…
HELENSwear that you are not an idiot.
MARIAI swear.
Helen stays still and pretends she can’t breathe.
MARIAHelen … What’s wrong with you? Talk to me.
HELENI can’t breathe.
MARIAOk, I’m an idiot. Get well, now.
Helen gets well.
HELENSee? It wasn’t hard to admit it…
MARIAOk, but I have to find who has played this awful joke.
HELENOh, Maria… Drop it…
MARIAYou’re right. I’ll not pay any more attention to it… We’re big girls…
HELENYou are a big girl. I am twelve years younger.
MARIATwo…
HELENSeven…
MARIATwo.
HELENFour. That’s my last offer!
MARIATwo. I have a copy of your passport.
HELENThis is called blackmail.
The women laugh.
~DARK~
SCENE 5
– OFFICE –
Maria is studying some plans. She hears a voice.
DEVILHave you begun working?
Maria sees the woman standing in front of the door.
MARIAYou again… You won’t come out of this office alive. I’ll kill you and send you to the hell.
She goes to her.
DEVILI’m glad you call things by their names.
Maria hits her but the Devil is not feeling anything.
MARIATell me who the hell has sent you?
DEVILI sent myself…
MARIASwear… Swear to your mother’s soul.
DEVILI’ll tell you once again but I won’t repeat it.
MARIAOk.
DEVILI’m the devil!
MARIAThe devil… And where are your horns?
DEVILI’m not a deer.
MARIAAnd where is your red outfit?
DEVILI’m the devil! Not little red riding hood!
MARIAI don’t believe you.
DEVILThat’s your problem.
MARIAMy problem? Why?
DEVILCause it’s your soul we are talking about…
MARIAWhat if I deny?
DEVILToo late. Here is your signature.
She shows her the contract.
DEVILAnd you’d better not tell anyone else that I came to you and made this offer because no one is going to believe you. Besides…
MARIABesides, what?
DEVILI don’t mind taking your soul right now and sending you down to hell to clean caldrons all day and night.
MARIAI can’t believe this is happening.
DEVILWell, try to have fun. You are neither the first nor the last person who sold their soul to me…
She takes an apple from her bag.
DEVILDo you want an apple?
MARIANo thanks.
DEVIL(she eats) See? Years ago, you had an apple and you were making miracles. Now, you can’t imagine what they ask from me…
MARIATo win open bids?
DEVILWeird stuff. Well, I have to go now. I have the caldrons on the fire… You remember what I told you, ok?
MARIANot to speak to anyone about you, because I’ll go to hell.
DEVILWell, I like you… And because I’m not so bad as people think, I’ll make an exception for you.
MARIAWill you tear the contract?
DEVILI said “exception”. Not undoing!
MARIAWhat exception?
DEVILI’ll send you a friend of mine to discuss things with him if you want. You can say whatever you’re not allowed to say to anyone else.
MARIAAnd who is that guy? How will he find me?
DEVILDon’t worry, honey… He will find you… He finds everyone…
Devil disappears. Maria sits on her desk she sees the contract and she hides it.
MARIA(she shouts) Alberta …
Alberta comes.
MARIAFind the best caterer and tell him to come to my home. I have to leave now!
Maria leaves. Alberta stays watching her.
~DARK~
SCENE 6
– LIVING ROOM –
Maria is sitting in her sofa silent. She drinks and smokes. Behind her, there is Elthy and George. They are looking at her.
GEORGE(whispering) How long has she been sitting like that?
ELTHYSince this afternoon.
GEORGEDid she tell you what is bothering her?
ELTHYFrom the time she arrived, she only spoke 3 times.
GEORGEAnd what did she say?
ELTHY“Vodka!”
GEORGEHas she had menopause?
ELTHYAges ago…
The bell is ringing. George opens the door. It is a man wearing a black costume.
DEATHMrs. Wilson?
GEORGEDo I look like Mrs. Wilson?
DEATHI mean, is she in?
GEORGEYes, but you can’t talk to her…
DEATHShe’s expecting me.
GEORGEAnd you are…?
DEATHDeath… She’ll understand…
George goes to Elthy.
GEORGEThere is a man outside…
ELTHYWhy doesn’t he come in?
GEORGEHe says, he is Death…
ELTHYAnd whom did he come to take?
GEORGEHis name is Death… Mom is expecting him, he said.
ELTHYTell him to come in.
GEORGE(To Death) Come in…
Death comes inside.
GEORGE(To Maria) Mom, a man is here to see you. He says you are expecting him…
MARIAYes… Tell him to come in and leave us alone, please.
Death approaches her. Elthy and George leave.
DEATHHello.
MARIAWould you like something to drink?
DEATHNo thanks…
MARIAWell?