May 23, 2010- Opening of the Mark F. Frattaroli Community Center, Goriano Sicoli

This evening, as you open the Mark F. Frattaroli Community Center in Goriano Sicoli, I would like to express my deep appreciation to all who have brought this project to realization. Over the past year and a half, I have learned that words are not enough; not to describe the depth of love that I have for my beloved son, Mark, or the overwhelming sadness of living without him. And words are not enough to express my gratitude for the honor that you have generously and kindly bestowed on him, and on us today. And yet, words are important, carefully chosen and lovingly offered, to convey the emotions we are experiencing.

Mark was the youngest of four children. His brother, Philip and his sisters, Daniella and Jessica love him and cherish him unconditionally and fully. They each acted like he was born as a special gift from God, intended just for them, and they were all right. They nurtured him, cared for him and taught him all the lessons of life that they felt important to impart on their younger brother. There was a special relationship between Mark and his siblings and it enriched each of their lives immeasurably and continues to do so. Amid all the great work that they are destined to do in their lives, Mark will be their common masterpiece.

Mark is one of my four masterpieces as well. He was extraordinary. He had an early love for science and nature and history and wanted to travel and explore the world. He had just begun to. I relied on Mark, trusted him and was amazed at how exceptionally well he did everything. When he walked into a room, I was proud that he was my son. He could carry the weight of the world and do so with calmness, dignity and wisdom. He was a born leader and his future was without limits. From an early age, he was the type of boy that would roll up his sleeves and get the job done. And he loved working in our restaurants. He learned how to cook and how to manage a business, but he was already a natural at both. He amazed me, all the time, with his insight. I found myself frequently asking him, “How do you know that?” or “Where did you learn that?” What he knew instinctively was far beyond his years.

Mark was a very American boy with a very Italian heart. He epitomized what it meant to be “Forte e Gentile.” He was strong and solid and determined in every way possible; and yet he was gentle and loving, kind and compassionate. He was intensely and demonstrably proud of his rich heritage. His favorite topic to write about in school was his father, Filippo, and all that he had accomplished with his own hands and because of his own hard work, intelligence and determination. Coming from Abruzzo as a young boy, he was a living example of the great American success stories that Mark read about in his history books. They were alike, Mark and his father; in their immense confidence, in the way they viewed life and people and especially in the way they wrapped their love around their family and friends and made us feel safe and protected. While others chose to focus on assimilation, Mark admired that his father kept his unique Italian identity while embracing all that it meant to be an American. He was especially proud when his father returned, a journey that brought him full circle, to buy property in Sulmona. There was a part of Mark that was at home in Italy as if he had been born there himself. In a school essay he wrote about his heritage a few years ago, he said,

“ I am Italy.

I am just as much Rome and Florence, Verdi and DaVinci,

as I am New York and Boston, Jefferson and Kennedy.”

In the summer of 2008, Mark was accepted at Lawrence Academy, a prestigious college preparatory school. It came as no surprise that he connected immediately and was fully embraced by students, administrators and faculty. He was an award winning student and a gifted and powerful athlete. There was nothing more exhilarating that watching Mark in action on the football field or on the wrestling mat. He was a fierce competitor, competing to win but always gracious and humble towards his opponent. A few days before the car crash, we went to his football game on a beautiful, crisp autumn afternoon. Mark had been named a Captain, elected by his teammates. As we watched the exciting game, we heard the coach call out to the players, ‘Italy”. And then again, on the next play, “Italy”. Mark was carrying the ball and pushing towards the end zone and with each subsequent call “Italy”, Mark advanced and then scored a touchdown. At first, we thought “Italy” was the name of a play the team was running. After he scored the touchdown, Mark was lifted up into the air by his teammates and then he ran over to us on the sideline. I asked, “Who is Italy?”. He responded, “I am Italy!” All the boys had nicknames and this was the nickname his team had chosen for him. He loved it and it suited him. From underneath his helmut, his gorgeous smile reflected how happy and complete he was. It was a moment that we will never forget.

In his precious life, Mark experienced more and knew more than most people do in a lifetime. He was remarkable and unique. He was precise, a young man who focused on what he knew and what he needed to learn. His sister, Jessica, puts it best when she says that Mark defined himself. He was intelligent, insightful and direct. He was loving and kind; generous and compassionate. He had a keen way to see things clearly, and with a no nonsense attitude he could put life and situations and people into perspective. He didn’t waste time, not one minute, but lived fully. We were in awe of Mark and we learned from him, probably more than we taught him. We are learning from him still. We know that Mark would expect us to be strong now, to be courageous now and to be there for each other and for those that he loved. Mark’s deep faith in God serves as an example to us to hold tight to our faith, with every ounce of strength we can manage, and look to the joyous day when we will be reunited with him again.

I learned early on in his beautiful life that there was something that drew people to him; a natural charisma that was genuine and far reaching. I saw it in the family that loves him, in the countless friends he made and in the communities that embraced him and loved him and it is in the Community Center that stands before you now.

As you look around you at the Committee, Italian and American, responsible for the structure you are celebrating, you see before you the type of individual who rushes in to help when tragedy strikes. After the earthquake in Abruzzo of April 6, 2009, these remarkable individuals immediately mobilized, not knowing how and where they could help but knowing, with great certainty, that they would help. They model the love, kindness and compassion that Jesus Christ calls us to live. They reviewed the need and how best their time and talent and funds could be used and they chose this particular vital project in Goriano Sicoli. This community center is a shining example of what good and kind people can and do accomplish together. Beyond this, through this project, they have managed to accomplish so much more. They have also been able to embrace and bring comfort to a grieving family, demonstrate that the precious life of a young person merits great respect and reverence and unite communities an ocean apart.

In the future, as you will gather, young and old, to meet and to pray here, you will do so in honor of a young American, Mark F. Frattaroli, who lived equally comfortably between our two countries and knew that the world is so much bigger than one’s own perspective and that despite where we live, we are all connected. Just as Mark is part of us, he is part of you too now. In naming this structure the Mark F. Frattaroli Community Center, we are also connected in a personal and lasting way.

As you come together this evening, we as a family have chosen to likewise gather around Mark to offer prayers of thanksgiving for the good people of Goriano Sicoli, for their peace and prosperity.

Sending our love,

Anna Forlani Frattaroli

Mark’s mom