MATES LOOK OUT FOR MATES - WE OWE EACH OTHER A DUTY OF CARE
Dates for Your Diary
Tuesday 7th April
Shed closure for several days for clean up
Saturday 11th April
Gold Coast Triathlon marshal duties
Thursday 23rd April
Lady Brisbane Cruise
Saturday 2nd May
Maleny Wood Show. It is proposed, at this stage, that we will have a bus trip organized.
Thursday 28th May
World’s Biggest Morning Tea for Cancer Research.
The President’s Message
The trip to Buderim was an outstanding success and enjoyed by all.
I have to give a big thank you to everyone who has pitched in and contributed to the completing of the Shed fit-out. There is still a little way to go but we are getting there.
We will be having a clean out of the Shed on the 7th and 8th April so unfortunately, the Shed will be closed for this to happen. Once we have cleaned up and tidied we will be in a position to start thinking about how we want the old section laid out.
We have purchased a new thicknesser and will be getting some training for a couple of key people who will then pass this on to the members. Please be patient while we wait to get the unit operational.
Rita and I would like to wish you and your family a very happy, holy and safe Easter.
Bots
QMSA Shed Expo
On Friday 27th March 20 of our members attended the Shed Expo held at Buderim Shed. There were 160 delegates and guests with 31 Queensland Sheds represented. They travelled far and wide with delegates coming from Mt Morgan, Rockhampton, Roma and Pittsworth to name a few.
This was the first QMSA Expo and can only be described as a great success and one that will be difficult to follow.
The event was opened by Peter Dutton MP and was attended by David Helmers, Executive Officer of AMSA. Speakers included Dr Craig Allingham who spoke on men’s health issues and Allison Beasley and Danielle Taylor whose topic was “Writing Successful Grant Applications”.
Woodcraft Supplies, SafetyQuip and YAS Engineering had display and demonstration stands.
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Thicknesser
As most will be aware, the Committee authorised the purchase of a new thicknesser and the decision was also taken that we purchase the best we can afford.
We are no longer able to use the thicknesser outside the Shed so one of the criteria was that a new machine had to be fitted with a spiral cutter to keep noise to a minimum. The machine, fitted with the spiral cutter is valued at nearly $4,000. The cutter alone cost $1,200.
A couple of members will be going to Gregory’s to be shown the ins and outs of the thicknesser and the correct operating procedures. In turn, they will demonstrate the use to the Shed Captains who will then assist other members to use the machine correctly.
Unfortunately, with Easter intervening, the trip to Gregory’s will not happen until after Easter. Until this training has been undertaken, the thicknesser is not to be used.
We trust that this small inconvenience will ensure that we have a piece of equipment that will last us a very long time.
Your co-operation is appreciated.
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Bullshit and Brilliance
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost.
Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says, 'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard! Moral of this story.... Don't mess with old farts .. age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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This is a quiz for people who know everything!
I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions.
They are straight questions with straight answers..
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3 Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
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Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one: After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident!
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last:
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from the midget.
Selection of Photos taken at QMSA Shed Expo.
The crowd
Peter Dutton MP – Federal Member for Dickson, Minister for Immigration and Border Protection opens the event.
(Left) Graeme Curnow, President QMSA. David Helmers, CEO AMSA
Bill Robson checking out one of the displays
Ron Seal, Perry Nelder and Peter Fearnside looking at some fine work
Iain Morris checking out the Mt Gravatt Men’s Shed display
A nice piece of work
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Answers To Quiz:
1 The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing.
2 North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls .. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.
3 Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.
4 The fruit with its seeds on the outside:Strawberry.
5 How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
6 Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...
7 Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8 The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.
9 Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S':Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
Sam AbelaAndrew Bean
Graham BraundRobert Decolle
Peter FearnsidePeter Howard
Frank LawJeff Pollard
Ken StrobelRog Wilcox
A special acknowledgement for Peter Fearnside who not only turns 81 on the 4th but on Tuesday 7th, he celebrates 60 years of marriage to Joy.
Congratulations Peter and Joy.