Making Change Stick?

Making change stick?

You want to change the way you are approaching your work, you know your current way isn’t working, and you are doing all you can to learn about better ways to manage your time and writing. But understanding isn’t the same as doing and perhaps for younothing you learn in workshopsseems to actuallywork in practice.

The more complex the change needed, the more he likelihoodquick fixes won’t work. This tool, adapted from Kegan & Lahey (2009) guides you through the thought processes that derail behaviourchange and helps you take a good look at what’s going onunderneath the patterns you’ve got stuck in.

Answer the questions below, you can write or just think it through, be honest with yourself.

1. What’s the problem?
2. What will be different for you if you solve this issue?
3. In what ways are you stopping yourself from succeeding? What things do you do that stop you from getting it done? What are you avoiding doing that could help?
4. Look at the things above in question 3. For each one ask yourself: What self-protective commitment am I demonstrating? e.g. A commitment to being in control? To never needing help? To always being the best? To doing the right thing? To making others pleased with me? To being seen to be competent? To doing as I’m told? etc
5. Ask yourself: What bad thing do I assume would happen if I did something other than hold a commitment to being that way?e.g. What would happen if you showed you needed help? What would happen if you weren’t in control? What would happen if you made someone upset or angry?
This is known as your Big Assumption. One that comes from a centre of irrational fear, and very likely influences many decisions you make.
6. Take a look at your Big Assumption. Notice in what situations it affects your actions. Does this particular assumption hold true in every aspect of your life?Are there situations when it’s less prominent?Are there situations where you’ve overcome it? As you go about your life, notice when it’s most pressing. When can you tolerate that feeling? When can you control it? Look for ways to make your big assumption smaller.

Kegan, R., & Lahey, L. L. (2009). Immunity to change: how to overcome it and unlock potential in yourself and your organization. Boston, Mass, Harvard Business Press.