KAIROS OUTSIDE FOR WOMEN

FULL WEEKEND SCRIPT AND SCHEDULE

FRIDAY4.30pmTeam meeting and prayer

Agenda

  • Opening prayers
  • Introduce observers (if any)
  • Commissioning (of those not at final team formation meeting)
  • Last minute changes in guest list
  • Check guest name tags and room allocation list
  • Check copies of all talks have been given to I.T. person

Reminders:

  • No men in the community room after the first guests arrive.
  • Team contacts are to meet their guests where possible: escort to rooms, explain layout and rules (eg smoking areas, no mobiles in community room). It is worth considering giving the team contact person both her own name tag to wear and that of her assigned guest. When the guest arrives, the contact person gives her the name tag – a way of immediately connecting both people.
  • Drinks and snacks available on arrival to help put guests at ease. (Tell guests this is not dinner!)
  • Sit with guest contact at dinner and afterwards for ice breakers
  • During dinner, Advising Leader to briefly explain emergency procedures
  • Remember our training: Listen, listen, love, love. Confidentiality. Boundaries.What’s best for the guests? What you hear here, stays here!
  • Be watchful and respectful of the ‘raised hand’ and re-gathering music. Model good time-keeping and respect for each other
  • Our call is not to be ‘successful’ – but obedient.
  • No one role on team is more important than any other.

Closing prayer

5.15Guest contacts meet guests/mingle

6.00Dinner

Say grace

7.105 minute warning

7.15Welcome to Kairos Outside number X! It’s just wonderful to see you all here. We’ve been planning and looking forward to this for so long. My name is X, and I am your leader for this Kairos Outside weekend.

I guess some of you may be feeling a bit uncomfortable at this point – perhaps a bit nervous. That’s normal when people who don’t know each other come together for the first time, especially if they don’t know exactly what’s going to happen. I can assure you that everyone on the team, including me, has sat where you’re sitting now, on a weekend like this one. And I can assure you that the discomfort will disappear as the weekend goes on. It may be hard tonight, but tomorrow will be better – and Sunday will be great. So hang in there!

It may help if I tell you a little about myself and the team, and about the weekend. First of all, we want to be completely up front with you about where we’re coming from. We are all Christians, and our faith in God is a big part of who we are. That doesn’t mean that you have to be a Christian to enjoy this weekend or get something valuable out of it. But can I ask you to accept that side of us? You don’t have to agree with us, just keep an open mind as the weekend goes on. I’m sure there’ll be plenty you can agree with and enjoy.

There are X people on this Kairos Outside team. A small number are men and you’ll see them from time to time - but never in this community room. Some of the women on the team have, or have had, somebody in prison. Some of us never have – but we understand something of the kind of life you live. We want you to know that we’re committed to trying to understand more – and to accept you, whoever you are, just as you are.

That’s important enough to say right up front. We’re not here to preach to you or change you in any way. As we go through the weekend, you may decide that you want, or need, to make some changes – and if so, we’ll be here to support and encourage you as much as we can. But as team members, we’ll be changing too… As the weekend goes on, you’ll find out that we too have pains and fears and weaknesses, which are hard for us to share. Perhaps we can try to help each other and learn from each other….

Just to give you some background about Kairos Outside, there were two words for ‘time’ in ancient Greek. One was ‘kronos’ – as in clock or calendar time, 60 minutes to the hour and 24 hours to the day. The other was ‘kairos’ – and it’s used for the special kind of time we mean when we say: ‘it’s time’, for example: ‘there’s a time to plant and a time to harvest’; ‘it’s time for the baby to be born’; ‘it’s time to make a change’. It means: ‘the right time’. As Christians, we like to think of it as ‘God’s Special Time’.

The name ‘Kairos’ was chosen for a three day course run in prisons because those days were intended to be more than just ‘kronos’ time ticked off the calendar, but a truly special time – the right time for those in prison to see something positive happen in their lives. Kairos programs are held in prisons here in Australia and in many other prisons world-wide.

In 1989, a prison chaplain in America started looking for an opportunity for women impacted by the imprisonment of someone close to them to share the Kairos experience – and find added strength and support. That’s where Kairos Outside started and it was brought to Australia in 1999. It may reassure you to know that women all over the world are doing weekends just like this one. You are certainly not alone! Connection with other women in a similar situation is what this weekend is all about. Our time together will be filled with music, talks, activities, sharing – and some really nice surprises! If we seem a little secretive about what’s going to happen over the weekend, it’s only because we don’t want to reveal these nice surprises too early. Just trust us for a little while, and you’ll see.

There’s one more important thing to mention about trust. You can be sure that everything you say here is kept in strict confidence. We’re not going to share with anyone else what you tell us, except with your permission. And we ask that you keep what you hear from us, and from each other, in confidence as well. Is that OK? It’s the only way we can make this a safe place to be ourselves and share something of ourselves with each other. One of the goals of the weekend is to form new friendships. We want to get to know you and we want you to get to know us.

So before we do anything else, I think it would be a good idea to at least make some introductions. (By the way, we get to keep our name tags on all the time, so if you’re not very good at remembering names, just relax. There won’t be a test at the end!)

So first let me introduce some team members who have a special job this weekend: our wonderful music team – X and Y. They will now lead us in a couple of fun activities to help us get to know each other a bit better.

Ice Breakers

8.15I hope you can tell already that we’re going to have some fun together...

This weekend has a theme. You’ll see it and hear it and possibly even sing it in the days to come. Our theme is……………………………………………...

(Explain theme and logo)

We’re going to have a break shortly but first, a few suggestions that may help you to relax and feel more comfortable.

Don’t worry about what comes next or when it will happen. Everything has been carefully planned so that we don’t have to focus on ‘clock time’ – but on having a good time, a special time, with one another. If you feel comfortable to do this, I’d encourage you to remove your watches while we’re in here. In fact, my friend X, our Observing Leader who will be leading the next Kairos Outside weekend, is the one who will worry about the schedule and what time it is. She will make sure that we are called together in the right place at the right time.

There aren’t many rules this weekend except that smoking needs to be in a few designated areas only and that you’ll have to resist using your mobile phone except during breaks. So, if you have a mobile phone with you now, would you please turn it off so that all of us can enjoy tonight’s activities without distraction? That would be hugely appreciated.Other than that, there are just three things we’d like to ask of you this weekend:

First, please don’t judge the weekend until you’ve experienced all of it.

Second, please don’t think of this as a spectator sport: pitch in and have fun! You won’t be here again. The more you open your heart and mind to what you experience here, the more you’ll get out of it.

Third, please approach this weekend in a spirit of acceptance. Tonight we hardly know each other but, by Sunday evening, we will probably feel as if we’ve known each other forever. Share yourself with others, and let them share themselves with you – and see what happens.

If you are prepared to give us these three things – an open mind, an un-judging heart and your willingness to give it a go and get involved – you could get more peace and joy out of this weekend than you may be able to imagine right now.

If you can trust us just that much, you will be giving us the opportunity to support and encourage you. We know that you’re strong women. You’ve juggled families and work, and faced your own struggles and supported relatives or friends who are in prison. But I invite you to let us take care of you this weekend. If you’ve never experienced that before, try it for a while. You might like it!

There’s one final piece of housekeeping: You are about to be handed a Privacy Statement. This covers your personal details. The information we collect will only be shared, with your permission, with others on this weekend to help you stay in touch with each other if you’d like to. It will be entered on our secure database only to invite you to reunions or special Kairos Outside events – and you can have your name removed at any time you wish. It also covers the taking of a group photograph during the weekend which only X will be doing, so no other photos are to be taken thanks. There’s a form on the back of the Privacy Statement in case of medical emergencies. This will also be destroyed at the end of the weekend. Could you please take a moment to fill in both sides of the form so we can get that small but necessary task out of the way? Thank you.

[Privacy forms handed out, completed and collected]

We’ll now take a short break – just ten minutes to have a toilet stop, or to grab another cup of tea or coffee. Then when you hear music playing, that’s the signal to come back in here and find a seat. Ten minutes break. It’s all yours!

(Note: According to the arrangement of the venue, the meditation that follows could also be held in the chapel.)

8.30Break

8.40Re-gather (music)

8.50This weekend, we’re going to hear a series of talks and meditations or reflections. A meditation is quite short, and it’s just meant to give you something to think about. You don’t have to applaud or discuss your thoughts at the end. Just take a few minutes to reflect silently on what you’ve heard and how it may fit into your own life. As for all the talks and meditations you’ll be hearing this weekend, if you’re sitting in a position where you can’t see the speaker, please feel free to turn your chair around so that you’re facing the front. We want you to feel as relaxed and comfortable as possible!

Our first meditation will now be given by X, who will tell us the story of the Prodigal Daughter.

Meditation: Prodigal Daughter

Let’s just reflect quietly for a few moments on what we’ve heard.

Reflection

9.00We’re now going to hear the first of our talks for the weekend. A talk is a bit different to a meditation: it’s a little longer – and there will be an opportunity to talk afterwards about some of the issues raised.. Again, please don’t applaud at the end. Just take a few moments to think about what you’ve heard.

X told us about a daughter who made some bad choices – and then made some good ones, which turned her life around and brought her home to the love of her father. We all face choices in life, all the time. Y is going to talk to us about that: Choices – and how they influence us.

Talk: Choices

9.20Let’s just reflect silently for a few moments. You might like to think about the three questions on the screen...

We’re not going to discuss the three questions now – but I’d ask you to think about them later this evening, as you prepare for bed. We’ll have the opportunity to talk about our answers tomorrow morning. (Guests given copy of questions)

Note: While some KOW communities choose to have the chaplains visit guests in their bedrooms where the teddies are given out and the story read, the following approach is strongly recommended as it is inclusive of all guests and female team members and, therefore, more comfortable for guests in that it facilitates connection and doesn’t give the implied message that they have no choice but to go to bed at 9.25pm!. Allowing them to remain in the community room after the story while the team goes elsewhere for a meeting invites conversation and encourages the building of relationships in a relaxed way.

9.25And that’s the last of the formal activities for today! However, we do have a very special surprise for you – the first of many over this weekend. So we’re going to have a short break, while the team sets things up. Please come back in about 5 – 10 minutes. Bring your pillow with you – and a blanket if you want to get really cosy. Although there are some men on team and you’ll see them around the place over the weekend, this particular room is a ‘girls only’ zone, so if you feel comfortable, you’re even welcome to return in your pyjamas! We’re winding down for the day but please come back in 10 minutes for a very special surprise.

Short break, returning to community room for distribution of teddies and the reading of a story such as Max Lucado’s You Are Special (or similar).

9.35Now it’s my pleasure to introduce another group of team members who have a particular job on the weekend: our Chaplains. X and Y and Z will be leading us in our meditations and various other activities, but they’re also ‘here’ and available if anyone wants to talk or pray with them one-on-one at any time. Tonight, they’ve got a special task – which I’ll leave them to tell you about.

Chaplains explain that the teddies are a gift for the guests – not for their children or grandchildren! They represent security during tough times – something to hold on to which might remind them of safer times in the past and, hopefully, better times in the future. After the teddy bear distribution, a chaplain reads the story, explaining that it focusses on the deep love God has for each guest and team member, regardless of who they are or what they’ve done.

10.00That’s the end of our activities for tonight. The team is going to disappear for a brief meeting to prepare tomorrow’s program. But feel free to hang around here and have a cuppa and chat if you wish – bearing in mind that you’ll be woken up early in the morning and we have a big day tomorrow! Again, let us worry about the time. Just relax until we call you in the morning.

I’ll close with a brief prayer. Dear God…

If you need anything for the night, just ask a team member. Please keep track of your room keys. It might be a good idea to hang them on the board over there by the door when you’re not using them – so that your room-mate can find them if necessary. That’s it for now. Good night, and sleep well!

Team (women only) may serenade the guests if the majority of them have chosen to go to bed at this time.

10.15Team meeting

Agenda

  • Ask Team Contacts how guests are going
  • Review schedule for morning
  • Table servers: materials/set-up for the morning?
  • Table Leaders: Table name outlines.
  • Reminders:

Raised hand to signal silence, music playing to signal return to the Conference Room: Observing Leader’s time-keeping role (to be explained)

Table Leaders: listen, listen, love, love.

Discreet notes to prayer chapel during weekend are important

  • Any other business, comments, concerns
  • Reminder to get sleep!
  • Closing prayer (prayer team)

All hands on deck to prepare the community room for Saturday!

Once the rest of the team has gone to prepare for the next day, the leadership team prayerfully assigns the guests into table families and, on the advise of the Observing Leader 1, tries to ensure that guests on a particular table do not know each other and that there is an even distribution of ‘difficult’ personalities, Christians, people with significant health issues etc.