Kaetlin Lafargue

Mr. Jennings

Honors English 3

12/14/11

Self Assessment

Most of my essays deal with a deep story, my aunt dying, my parents divorcing, or facebook overtaking social life. I feel like if I have something deep to talk about the essay almost writes itself. I have also written about what it means to be an American.

When it comes to ideas, the essay on what it means to be an American was the hardest to write. It’s always bothered me when people said “God bless, America” or “I’m American, and I only drive American cars”. I guess because I have always been taught to be open-minded. So when people are only “blessing America” or that you can only buy American cars it throws me off. Putting together a definition of an American is hard, especially after being taught to be so open-minded.

My easiest paper to write was my open choice essays. Even looking back at it weeks later, I know the exact emotions I felt during the divorce. I still feel those emotions to this day. Writing about it was easy. Nobody would judge me; I wouldn’t have to cry as they read it. I can write about my feelings, I just can’t talk about them.

When I write, I have a heard time making my essays flow or making sense. I have so many ideas, so many feelings that I want my essay to portray. It’s hard for me to decide which ones are important enough. I also have a problem making my paper sound like me. When I hear someone read an essay that uses strong words I seek to sound like that. But that’s not me. My papers are voiceless and boring and I'm still working on that.

During the writing process, I found that I was cutting up my paper mentally and seeing if I could piece it back together without knowing the essay before hand. I needed to make sure that everything fell into place. I needed a puzzle, not building blocks that don’t have an order.

I also found that I was looking for places where I could put in descriptive words. I wanted my audience to see that the ball was a fist sized ball with the coloring of the water in the Bahamas, not that Jim Bob held a ball. It’s difficult for me to understand that not everyone saw that ball. My narrative and my family essay had the most voice because I was there; I experienced things with my own 5 senses, where as in the facebook and American definition paper I didn’t witness anything. I had to just ramble on about my thoughts. I find if I’m not interested in something, my thoughts nor my paper are exciting.

I’m pretty happy with my essays now, especially my family one. I was able to learn about my aunt, and make a paper that seems like it’s a complete puzzle. I put my voice in it with the first paragraph, a paragraph that I witnessed. I was at the baby shower when my entire family was crying; it was easy to talk about the senses around me. The paper is a story, not a part of a story, a paragraph of descriptions about dinner last night, a part of another story, a description of what I’m eating now, and the ending of another story. It’s all related to my aunt or her daughter, and it’s factual. The final draft wrote itself.