When everything went wrong
A short play
By
Bruce Shearer
Melbourne
May 2013
4th Draft
Contact: Bruce Shearer
3 Young Street
Ivanhoe 3079
Australia
(613) 9499 1239
0409998112
Email:
Bruce Shearer 2008
St.10
Cast
LarryLarry is a friendly eight year old boy.
JimmyJimmy is a happy go lucky seven year old.
ThelmaThelma is a tall gawky thirteen year old.
GranGran is a fit and healthy seventy year old.
MumMum is a happy but tired forty-five year old.
DadDad is a Mr Fixit aged 48 years.
TomTom is a five year old Australian Terrier dog.
Setting
The play is set in Larry’sfamily’s home.
Synopsis
Sometimes we all have those days when things just don’t seem to go right.
Larry and his family had a day when everything went wrong.
1When everything went wrong
When everything went wrong
(LIGHTS COME UP ON LARRY, JIMMY, THELMA, GRAN, TOM, MUM AND DAD SLEEPILY MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE BREAKFAST TABLE. LARRY IS THE NARRATOR OF THE PLAY AND HE STEPS FORWARD AND STARTS TO TELL THE STORY.)
Larry:It seemed a very normal day.
It was a bright and sunny morning.
The family went about its business.
There wasn¹t any warning.
(JIMMY, THELMA, GRAN, TOM, MUM AND DADMOVE CLOSER TO THE BREAKFAST TABLE LOOKING A BIT BLEARY EYED.
We all wandered down to breakfast.
(JIMMY, THELMA, GRAN AND ARE YAWNING AND STRETCHING BEFORE THEY SIT DOWN, WHILEDADANDTOM ARE HAVING A GOOD OLD SCRATCH.)
With some stretches and some yawns.
2When everything went wrong
(MUM IS JUST HANDING GRAN A BOWL OF PORRIDGE WHEN JIMMY ACCIDENTALLY STANDS ON GRAN’S CORNS.)
Larry:When Jimmy trod on Grandma’s foot.
He forgot about her corns.
(GRAN SHOUTS OUT IN PAIN AND THROWS HER BIG BOWL OF PORRIDGE UP HIGH INTO THE AIR.)
Gran:Ouch!
Larry:Well Gran let out a mighty wail.
And some porridge hit the wall.
(THICK LUMPY PORRIDGE LANDS ALL OVER THELMA WHO SHRIEKS AND JUMPS UP AND DOWN AND UNDULATES HER NECK IN GIRAFFE LIKE MOVEMENTS.)
The rest of it hit Thelma.
Who is very very tall.
(LARRY, JIMMY, GRAN, TOM, MUM AND DADALL LOOK AT THELMA IN SHOCK AND THEN START TO LAUGH AT HER HUMOROUS MOVEMENTS AND THE PORRIDGE COATING HER HEAD.)
At a porridge covered Thelma.
We all began to laugh.
But Thelma she then swung around.
Like a cantankerous giraffe.
3When everything went wrong
Thelma:What are you lot laughing at?
Larry:She screamed amidst her tears.
She wiped some porridge off her head.
(THELMA STUFFS PORRIDGE INTO LARRY’S EARS.)
And stuffed it in my ears.
(LARRY JUMPS UNDER THE TABLE TO ESCAPE, BUT TOM THE TERRIER JUMPS DOWN THERE AS WELL AND LICKS HIM ON THE FACE.)
I jumped under the table.
But Tom the terrier was quick.
Before I even knew it.
He gave me a giant lick.
(LARRY JUMPS UP TO AVOID TOM AND BANGS THE TABLE WITH HIS HEAD JUST AS DAD IS BEGINNING TO POUR SOME JUICE.)
I jumped up and banged my head .
Then collapsed upon the floor.
Just then Dad was making juice.
And had just commenced to pour.
4When everything went wrong
(JUICE FLIES UP INTO THE AIR ALL OVER EVERYONE.)
Larry:When the table jumped as my head got thumped.
Cold juice flew everywhere.
The family ran for cover.
Flying juice gave them a scare.
(THE FAMILY JUMP UP FROM THE TABLE TO AVOID THE FLYING JUICE. LARRY GETS UP FROM UNDER THE TABLE RUBBING HIS HEAD AND SEES THAT SOME OF THE JUICE HAS LANDED ON MUM’S SPECIAL CRYPTIC CROSSWORD.)
Some landed on Mum’s crossword.
And one of Mum’s cross words came out.
Mum:Strewth!
Larry:I don’t think I have to tell you.
There was trouble all about.
(LIGHTS GO DOWN AND WHEN THEY COME UP, DAD MARCHES OVER AND PICKS UP HIS PAINT AND BRUSHES AND HEADS FOR A LADDER IN THE HALLWAY. LARRY FOLLOWS AND COMMENTS ON HIS PROGRESS.)
Larry:It was also on this very day.
Dad decided to paint the house.
He was on his ladder in the hall.
When Gran she saw a mouse.
5When everything went wrong
(GRAN SCREAMS WHEN SHE SEES A MOUSE.)
Gran:It’s a MOUSE!
(GRAN PICKS UP A BROOM AND TRIES TO HIT THE MOUSE.)
Larry:She grabbed a broom and swatted it.
But the mouse it was too quick.
It zoomed off to avoid the broom.
Thelma said that she felt sick.
(THELMA HOLDS HER HANDS OVER HER FACE SO SHE CAN’T SEE THE MOUSE.)
Thelma:I don’t feel well!
Larry:But Gran was not one to give up.
She immediately gave chase.
(GRAN STARTS CHASING THE MOUSE WITH HER BROOM RAISED READY TO STRIKE.)
Around the house she chased that mouse.
(TOM THE TERRIER STARTS CHASING THE MOUSE WITH GRAN.)
Then Tommy joined the race.
Jim and I enjoyed the fun.
And wondered who would win.
6When everything went wrong
Larry:When Gran and Tommy passed the mouse
(GRAN AND TOMMY SLOW DOWN SO THE MOUSE CAN CATCH UP.)
They slowed down to wait for him.
(THELMA IS HANDING UP SOME PAINT TO DAD ON HIS LADDER.)
Thelma was handing Dad some paint.
When they hit the final straight.
They all knew that they should slow down.
But the mouse it wouldn’t wait.
(THE MOUSE PASSES THROUGH THE LADDER WHILE GRAN HOPS ALONG TRYING TO GET THE STONEOUT OF HER BOOT.)
It passed under the ladder.
With Tommy in pursuit.
Gran slowed down just a little.
She had a stone inside her boot.
(THELMA SEES THE MOUSE AND THROWS THE PAINT CAN IN THE AIR AND IT LANDS ON GRAN’S HEAD.)
When Thelma saw the mouse again.
She shrieked and promptly fled.
She threw the paint can in the air.
It landed on Gran’s head.
7When everything went wrong
Larry:Well Gran she had a head of steam.
She kept running down the hall.
As she ran into the ladder .
We watched Dad begin to fall .
(DAD GRABS THE CHANDELIER AS THE LADDERFALLS DOWN LEAVING HIM HANGING THERE.)
As the ladder fell away from him.
Dad grabbed the chandelier.
He dangled there like an ornament.
Bright red from ear to ear.
(MUM IS PULLING THE PAINT TIN FROM GRAN’S HEAD AS THE CHANDELIER GIVES WAY AND DAD COMES CRASHING DOWN ON HIS BOTTOM.)
Mum was pulling off Gran’s tin.
When the chandelier gave way.
When Dad landed on his backside.
We didn’t know what to say.
8When everything went wrong
(LIGHTS GO DOWN AND THEN COME UP ON LARRY, JIMMY, THELMA, GRAN, TOM, MUM AND DADCOLLAPSED IN THE LOUNGEROOM ADJOINING THE KITCHEN.)
Larry:We collapsed into the lounge room.
To rest our weary feet.
When Jimmy said that he was hungry.
And he’d make something to eat.
(JIMMY JUMPS OUT OF HIS SEAT AND RUNS INTO THE KITCHEN.)
Jimmy:I’m hungry!
Larry:We knew nothing further could go wrong.
But perhaps we should have checked.
The way the day had gone so far.
We should have known what to expect.
We heard the freezer door go bang.
Mum said
Mum:Not the ice-cream cake!
Larry:Jim called
Jimmy:I’m bringing some for all of you.
Larry:It was enough to make us quake.
9When everything went wrong
(JIMMY COMES WALKING THROUGH THE DOOR CARRYING AN ENORMOUS ICECREAM CAKE.)
Larry:Jimmy came walking through the door.
He was careful he was cautious.
I didn’t like to watch him.
He made me feel quite nauseous.
(JIMMY STEPS VERY CAREFULLY AND CAUTIOUSLY INTO THE ROOM.)
He evaded every obstacle.
That appeared along his way.
Jimmy:There won’t be any trouble.
Larry:The family heard him say.
Jimmy:My mission has gone safely!
Larry:Jim was feeling very proud.
(LARRY, THELMA, GRAN, TOM, MUM AND DADALL THROW UP THEIR HANDS AND SHOUT FOR JOY.)
We all shouted our approval.
It was long and it was loud.
It was a moment of great triumph.
The cake was firmly in his care.
10When everything went wrong
(LARRY TRIPS UP ON THE RUG JUST AS HE REACHES LARRY, THELMA, GRAN, TOM, MUM AND DADAND THE ICECREAM CAKE FLIES UP INTO THE AIR AND ALL OVER EVERYONE.)
Larry:Alas he tripped upon the rug.
And ice-cream cake went everywhere.
(LARRY, THELMA, GRAN, TOM, MUM AND DAD RUEFULLY SCRAPE SOME ICECREAM OFF THEIR HEADS WHILE TOM LICKS THE REST OFF THEM ALL EAGERLY.)
It was a sad and sorry story.
It was tortuous and long.
This all happened on the day.
When everything went wrong.
(LIGHTS GO DOWN ON LARRY, JIMMY, THELMA, GRAN, TOM, MUM AND DADHAVING A LAUGH ABOUT IT ALL.)